Disturbing Disorder

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it looks like it’s just a cyst.”

“That can’t be right! Cysts shouldn’t grow this quickly. I know what I feel. Can you just check again, please?” 

“We’ve done three ultrasounds and two internal exams. I don’t think we’re going to find anything new.”

“Listen… I’m a woman and I know my body. I said check again… If you don’t want to listen, then you can document your refusal on my chart.” The doctor looked at me with an annoyed and concerned look on his face. He left the room and came back with a nurse to do another exam and ultrasound. 

“Again, Mrs. Wells, there is something here, but it looks like a static ball of some kind. There are no signs of life. You are not pregnant. This is a cyst or tumor. I would be happy to refer you to a surgeon who can go in for a biopsy and removal.” The doctor awaited my answer.

I looked at my husband with tears in my eyes. He knew that I didn’t buy it. He also knew that I couldn’t find an answer for the physician in front of me. He always had a desire to fix everything, and I knew he wanted to make this right for me.

“I promise we’ll figure this out, love. Okay?” All I could do was nod my head. My heart was racing a mile a minute and my mouth had turned upside down. Armon answered for me. “Thank you for all your help, Dr. Hayes. We’re a little in shock, I believe. Could you give us some time to talk it over and think about it?”

“Of course, just give me a call. I’m here if you have any other questions.” The doctor nodded his head and walked out with the nurse. 

I looked at my slightly rounded stomach and twiddled my thumbs. I hated to let people see me cry, even if it was the man I’ve been married to for the last six years. I made an exception and let my tears flow into a river on my hospital gown. Armon climbed in the bed with me and scooped me into his arms. He didn’t say a word - he just let me cry until I fell asleep on top of him. We had been trying to get pregnant for two years, and I knew for sure that this was our time. Hearing the doctor say that my baby bump was a blob of tissue broke my heart. 

I awakened the next morning with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose. I hadn’t cried that hard or that long in a while. The sparkling sun shining through my window usually woke me up with a smile, but at that moment, I just wanted to turn over and let my dreams take hold of me.  

“Hey, gorgeous. How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck.” I sat up in our bed and grabbed the mug of herbal tea that he brought me. This whole ordeal seemed so surreal. “Armon, I know my body. I’m not calling the doctor a liar, but you know I’ve had ovarian cysts before, and there’s no way this is one of those. I’m even getting pregnancy symptoms and I haven’t been on my cycle in a couple months now. This can’t be the ‘end all be all’ answer.”

“I know, love. I know. I’m just as confused as you are, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. But, I promise you, we’re gonna figure this out.” He exhaled loudly, and I knew this was just as hard on him as it was on me. “Why don’t we set up an appointment with the surgeon?” He sensed my hesitance. “If nothing else, we can get a second opinion. You don’t have to make a decision on the surgery anytime soon. What do you say?”

“Okay. I’ll call them today. Thank you.” I dropped my head and shoulders, and closed my eyes.

“Nope, I’ll call for you. I took off work today. I don’t want you to lift a finger. You slept for thirteen hours straight, and you still look and sound exhausted. Whatever is going on in your body is sucking the life out of you. You need to rest more, and I’m gonna make sure you do. I’ll bring you some breakfast and run a bath for you while you’re eating. Just take it easy today.” 

I looked at Armon with weepy eyes again. I hated being emotional, but lately, I couldn't keep myself from bursting into tears at any given moment. “How did I get so lucky with you?” He smiled, kissed me on my cheek and went downstairs to the kitchen. 

I laid back down and waited for him to come back. Every possibility ran through my head simultaneously. I wondered what would happen if I did have to get a tumor removed, how I would handle surgery, what we would do if it was malignant, what would happen if it was just a cyst, and how I would live with it if I just wanted to let it remain where it was. I also wondered if it could be an ectopic pregnancy or if there was some freak accident with their ultrasound machines and I really was going to have a baby. All of my home pregnancy tests were positive, but my home tests were not matching up with the doctor’s results at all.

“Here we go! Eat up, hun.” Armon brought back a full spread - blueberry waffles, sausage links, bacon, oatmeal, a fruit salad, more herbal tea, orange juice, and a lot of maple syrup. 

I couldn’t do anything but smile at him. He always went above and beyond for me. “You know I can’t eat all of this… but I’m gonna try. I’m starving.” He chuckled as he looked down at me. He walked into the bathroom to draw my bath while I ate. I took a bite of pineapple and drizzled syrup over my waffles as I stuffed a piece of bacon in my mouth. I swallowed the bacon and my stomach started to do flips. I paused for a second, and vomited all over our favorite blanket. 

Armon ran out of the bathroom. “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” 

“I’m really sorry. I’m so hungry. It just tasted horrible for a second, and I couldn’t keep it down.” The food was great for the first few bites. As I was chewing, it started to taste like sour mush in my mouth, and I had to let it out. 

“Don’t worry about it. You go ahead and get in the tub while I clean this up. I’ll find you something else to eat.” 

I floated to the bathroom slowly and slid down in the tub. It felt amazing to let my troubles float away with the steam emanating from the water. I heard Armon on the phone with the surgeon’s office, and dread started to set in. I looked at my rounded tummy, and I could’ve sworn it got bigger overnight. 

Armon burst in the bathroom. “I know we both wanted you to rest today, but we have to go to the surgeon’s office this afternoon. 3:15 is the only appointment they have until October, so we have to take this one. Sorry, love.”

I sighed and let my head fall onto the back of the tub. “Okay, okay. Help me up, handsome.” Armon lifted me out of the tub, dried me off, lotioned my body, and helped me get dressed. As much as I hated this whole process, he made it so much easier to deal with. 

We arrived at the surgeon’s office at 3:00 on the dot. Filling out forms was a chore, and I did the best I could to explain the situation on paper. The nurse called us back and took us to a room. The eggshell paint and smell of sterile supplies heightened my anxiety as we walked back. She took a brief history and looked as confused as we felt after our explanation. We sat in uncomfortable expectation for what seemed like hours. About 35 minutes later, we heard a light knock at the door. 

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Wells. I’m Dr. Grady. I’ve gone over your chart, test results, and imaging reports multiple times. I’m going to be 100% honest with you two… I’m baffled. I’ve been doing this for 17 years, and I’ve never been completely out of answers. Whatever is growing in you is not a cyst or a tumor, but it’s definitely not a baby either.” Armon and I looked at each other with matching expressions of worry. 

“What do you mean? How could it be none of those things? What is it supposed to be, then?” I asked in total confusion. If the most renowned surgeon in the city didn’t have any answers, who did?

“Mrs. Wells, when I say I’m baffled, I mean it. I’m truly at a loss for words, and I don’t know what to tell you.” I looked in her eyes and I knew she was being sincere. 

“Then… What do we do?” Armon asked. He was great at breaking up tension, but even he was bewildered. 

“Well, your symptoms are that of normal pregnancy symptoms, so you are in no immediate danger. What we could do is get a team of physicians together that deal with mystery illnesses. We’ll go in and see what we find. I can’t promise you anything, because I don’t even know what I would promise. It is risky, for sure. However, in my most humble opinion, I think that going inside to see what this is, is much safer than leaving it there.”

Heat filled my cheeks. I dug my nails into my thighs so hard that the skin broke. I was terrified, frustrated, and I was at a loss for words again, just like Dr. Grady. 

“When would the surgery be?” Armon asked. 

“Since this is not critical, it would be in about two months. Whatever is happening will not progress to a point of necessity that quickly. But, if you have any concerns, don’t hesitate to give us a call. Our surgery scheduler will be in touch with you in a few days to get everything set up. We’ll see you soon.” She left without giving us a chance to say another word, and for a while, Armon and I just sat there in silence. 

I had never seen Armon cry aside from our wedding, but today, he shed a tear. 

Three weeks passed, and my stomach had grown seven inches since our appointment with the surgeon. My bones felt fragile and my hips broadened extensively. I could barely walk, and Armon confined me to the bed so I wouldn’t hurt myself. I wasn't sure if Dr. Grady was too confused or just plain scared, but she canceled our surgery. No one had any answers. Armon was at the end of his rope, and I was ready to leave everything behind me. 

I had held it together since I was in Dr. Grady’s office, but on that third Tuesday evening, I broke. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and screamed to the top of my lungs. I screamed for my health, I screamed for my imaginary child, I screamed for my husband, and I screamed for every unanswered question that swirled in my head over the past month. Armon let me yell. He sat behind me and held my stomach with me.

“I’m terrified, Armon. What in the hell is happening? Why won’t anyone at least try to help us? Why are we on our own in this? This isn’t fair.” I hadn’t spoken much over the past few weeks, but these few words held every emotion that I housed in my mind. 

“I know you’re frustrated, my love. I am, too. Just like I promised a few weeks ago, we’re gonna figure this out. I’m right here beside you, and I’m going to find someone to help us. We’re not alone.” He kissed me on the back of my head and laid with me. 

Four hours later, I was jolted awake by excruciating pain. The sheets were soaked and my entire body was cramping. I tried to get out of bed, but I couldn’t move. I screamed in agony as I yelled for Armon. I felt something pressing its way out of me. A small amount of pressure was released, but the torture continued to increase. I felt the sensation again, and I knew that something or someone was escaping from me. “Armon!!! Help me, help me!” I wailed. I didn’t feel like I was giving birth, but I knew that something was happening. An entity crawled out of me again, but I couldn’t see past my stomach to observe what was happening.

Armon finally walked in like a slithering snake sizing up his prey. “Armon, what is happening? Call 911!” He leaned back on the wall and crossed his arms with a smirk on his face. “A… Ar… Armon?” His expression crushed me, and I squirmed in fear as I waited for him to speak. 

“Humans are weak. I’ve been catering to your every need for the past four years, and your body finally caught up. This mission wasn’t supposed to take this long, my love.”

“What the hell are you talking about? This can’t be happening... This isn’t real!” 

“Oh, it’s real. I’m not Armon, though. I killed him a few years ago. I needed a vessel, and you were perfect, or so I thought. ” He munched on a peach as he was talking. He was so nonchalant, and I wondered how he tricked me for so long. I prayed that this was a nightmare I would wake up from at any second. “You almost ruined it. I had no idea you would go through with the surgery. I had to scare the shit out of Dr. Grady just so she would cancel it. She really wanted to operate on you. Apparently, doctors love people with mysterious disorders so they can use them as guinea pigs for future rare cases. The human part of me kind of felt bad, but the look on her face was priceless. Now, that’s enough talking. Let the rest of my descendants out so we can go back to Venus.” 

For what felt like the millionth time, I was speechless. Armon walked closer to me, and his alien children started crawling out of me like crabs in a barrel clawing their way to freedom. When it was all said and done, 66 oddly shaped gray babies with three huge black eyes were standing in front of me. The physical torment was over, but the mental anguish was just beginning. I was sweating profusely and my body was more tired than it had ever been. My limbs were lifeless and I was floating in and out of consciousness as my pulse slowed to a snail-like pace.

Armon walked towards me with his dark skin, wide shoulders, deep dimples, glowing white teeth, and gold chain hanging in my face. His strange offspring huddled around his legs and clung to him. “I appreciate you. I was really starting to like you, too. Thank you for your time, Mrs. Wells, or whoever you want to be from here on out. If you live, that is.” He shrugged and walked towards the door. 

I spit curses at him as he clunked away in his brown loafers with his hands in his pockets. He looked over his shoulder for his last words. “I told you, we weren't alone.”