A way out

I’m so unbelievably fucked!

I looked around in hopes of finding an out but there was none. Under other circumstances, I would have been in awe of the scenery around me. The landscape that stretched in every direction was covered in yellowish wildflowers which emitted a slightly sweet smell. Lazy bees were circling them slowly, clearly not too keen on working hard when there was such an abundance of supplies. A little further down the road, one could spot some short desert-looking trees which are so common in Southern California (or SoCal as we, the locals, call it). If you continue to follow that route, it goes up the hill looking like a white well-fed snake until it reaches the very top making it seem as if it led right into the bright blue sky. The picture was nearly idealistic if you add the bright summer sun that in late afternoon looked like it also swallowed a few whales and stretched to XL size. So, one would ask – what’s the problem? Sounds nice, right? It would have been if only I wasn’t so terrified about the situation I was in.

That very morning, I was cheerful when I got up. I was planning to explore a new route, so I was elated that the weather cooperated. Every hiker has a routine that works for them. I’m not an exception to that rule – I never eat before I hike. Typically, I would bring some snacks with me and extra water knowing well that I have to always expect the unexpected while hiking, However, this time, I was going to a local highly traveled route called The Car Wreck Trail. It was marked as moderate to difficult but very popular, short, and seemed to be a piece of cake to someone like me who was used to walking 7-10 miles at a time.

Eight in the morning. I had a couple of hours before it would get truly hot and walking became uncomfortable, especially in the Californian hills that were covered in microscopic white dust and seemed to be radiating heat, raising the temperature around you by at least five degrees. Even given the drive to the beginning of the trail, I should be done by 10 am at the latest which means I would still have time to stop by the farmer’s market and come back home to make dinner with whatever I get there. I like going to the farmer’s markets – you never know what you will find there or what new wonderful or weird goodie you’d be offered to try… So, I decided in favor of my smaller (much smaller) hiking bag, only putting in there a bottle of water and my valet. The shopping bags were already in the car, so I was ready to go. As always, I sent info to the family chat about the hike I was going on and joyfully headed out.

I got there early so I still managed to park close to the entrance. I always anticipate checking out new sites. It doesn’t matter how many of them I saw in California and other places, the first time you see unfamiliar scenery, it nearly takes your breath away. I always stop to take it all in and snap a picture. That’s another one of my little tricks – I try to send a picture of my surroundings every 30-60 minutes to the same chat, so they know where I am and how my journey progresses. This was no different. The minute I turned the corner, my jaw nearly dropped into the dust.

The hills of all shapes and colors you could imagine were lined in a perfect crescent shape, broken only by the wide yellowish road where the dust, clay, and sand from the hills were mixed together by thousands of boots that trekked through here. As I continued down the beaten path, I saw a few ravines on both sides of the trail, and further down a sign to my ultimate target – The Car Wreck. I started down the steep side of the hill following a few other hikers that were clearly going in the same direction. At times, we had to stop and press against the sides of the hill letting the traffic that was moving in the opposite direction go by – it was damn narrow! The route got steeper and steeper the lower we got. It occurred to me that it would take longer than I thought. I’ve always been very realistic about my abilities, trying hard not to bite off more than I could chew. So, I started to seriously consider if I should turn around, especially since going up this steep road with heat that was rising by the minute, would be a real challenge. Suddenly, I overheard one of the hikers ahead of me expressing a similar concern. I took a sip of my water and moved a little closer to them trying to keep my breath under control so I could hear them better. One of the women replied to him:

“There is a way to go around this, so we don’t have to go back up if you don’t want to.”

Phew. That’s a relief! I honestly hate to quit so I decided to stay on course feeling much better about it now. We passed the car wreck a few minutes later ending up in a sort of shady area at the bottom of the hill. The car was old, rusted, but very retro and kinda cool looking. I partook in observations with others snapping a few pictures before I followed them past the car. They continued to go down bearing to the left. I heard them talking about the road turning and leading to the end of the trail. I got happily arrogant, figuring that I may still be able to complete the tasks on my list after all. With that, I waved to the others since the directions were simple enough - just follow the trail. I took a few extra minutes taking pictures of the car and a few plants around it. Some looked almost mysterious with their unpredictable shapes and colors. Plugging back my headphones, I headed out down the road.

The new scenery was equally beautiful. Here, at the bottom of the hill, it was a bit cooler. Large trees were rising on both sides of me, interlacing their branches at the top in such a knot that it was impossible to tell which one belonged to which tree. The deeper I was walking into the forestry area, the easier it was to pretend that civilization was somewhere far away. It’s funny how we often wish we could end up in the middle of nowhere. We’re talking about how we would enjoy the natural silence of the remote location. Maybe, try to live off the land, go fishing. That would be the life! Yep… until you realize that you have no idea how to fish and would not be able to recognize an edible plant from a non-edible one. Not to mention that most of us, amateurs, have no idea how to survive in the wild or build a shelter. However, in theory, it all sounds very romantic and we’re longing for that simple life. My mind wandered while I was walking and listening to my tunes. At some point, I took another drink from my bottle and heard a slurping sound indicating that my water was getting low. That was not great news – how many miles has it been? Upon checking my trails app, I realized that so far, I walked over nine miles. The clock also surprised me, and not in a good way. Turned out it was dangerously close to one o’clock in the afternoon. With a snap of reality, all my senses rushed to remind me that I haven’t eaten a thing today, that my water supply was getting alarmingly low, and the temperature continued to rise. I hurried to take off my shirt leaving on only light shorts and a sports bra hoping to cool off my body.

After another mile or so, I came to a sign stating that it was the end of the park and beyond it was a private territory. A few people were standing there waiting for someone to pick them up. To my question, if there was a water fountain, they pointed to the run-down building that once upon a time might have been a bathroom. My new acquaintances shrugged their shoulders saying that it’s been a while since anything worked there but I am welcome to try. I decided that I can’t risk getting a sick stomach on top of an already unpleasant situation, so I skipped it.

“Where are you trying to get to?” asked one of the young mothers as she danced around me with her 6-month old who seemed almost as unhappy as I was.

I explained where I parked the car and she looked at me as if I was crazy.

“Girlie, you are miles away from there – we are on the other side of the hills. If you come out here, it will take you hours to get back.”

My heart sank. “So, what should I do?”

“You probably misunderstood those people and went the wrong way. So maybe go back and from the car wreck, turn to the right instead of left.”

I shook my bottle of water – it was very low but there was no other way, so I slouched and obediently trailed in the opposite direction. I tried to convince myself that this would be one of my most proud moments after I’m done. I also looked forward to getting on the scale the next day to see how much weight I lost thanks to my involuntary fasting and blazing heat which left me soaked through. It worked and I cheerfully walked back thinking that it was kind of cool to see it all now in reverse. Here is the sign to the car wreck, there is the trail that passed by it and went to the right. How many miles has it been now? Twelve. Not an all-time high but very respectful… The farmer’s market closed about half an hour ago so there is no reason to hurry anymore. Except… except I was really thirsty and started to feel a bit faint because of the heat. But no worries. As soon as I turn around the next hill, I will be very close to the car. I imagined how I would open my slightly toasty Dodge Journey getting in my comfortable seat. And then I will drive to the closest convenience store and drink two… no, three bottles of sprite or vitamin water! I could almost feel the coolness of the drink as it spread out inside me leaving the nice bubbly sweetness on my lips. Just a little longer.

I pushed myself again, turning around the corner and…

“I’m so fucked!” scream escaped me before I could stop myself. The fields around me stretched indefinitely. I span round and round, running towards the mountains and only now understanding that I was at the very bottom of the ravine. At that point, my car might have as well been somewhere on Mars – equally unreachable.  As I frantically ran around the meadow hoping to find some path through the mountain, I also noticed that multiple roads which led to this place were now all mixed up in my head. In other words, if I decided to try to go back to the wreck location and just climb up, I couldn’t do it. I completely lost my sense of direction. The cold wave of fear made me shiver for the first time that day. I decided that the first thing I need to do is calm down and try to think rationally. Maybe I could call home and ask someone to pick me up… but from where?! They can’t get to the bottom of the hill, and I have no strength to go up.

I found a small tree that was throwing a tiny shady spot. I sat down on the ground counting and trying to get my breath under control. As it slowed down and my pulse seemed to be steadier, I looked around again. I couldn’t hear any voices and there wasn’t a soul anywhere even close. I glanced at my phone and that’s when I got really scared. My battery was depleting and there was absolutely NO signal. Another thought smashed me in the back of the head telling me that I was a complete idiot. All I needed to do when I reached the other side of the park with the bouncy baby, was to get to the road and call Uber or Lyft! Now what?! I had maybe a few sips of water left, it was after four in the afternoon, and I needed to get out before dark at any cost. I could very vividly imagine the wildlife that came out here after dark.

First things first, let’s count my lessons learned so I can calm down.

1. Just because you are following a trail, it doesn’t mean you can’t get lost
2. Even if you go on what seems to be a short hike, make sure to have extra supplies
3. Don’t be an arrogant fool who thinks that she knows it all!
4. Admit when you are wrong, swallow your pride, and ask for fucking help when you need it!

My family was probably worried out of their minds by now. It’s been at least three hours since I sent anything, not to mention that I was supposed to be back home hours ago. After resting for about thirty minutes, I tried to walk up the hill where it seemed to be the shortest but after the very first fifty feet, I had to admit that going up was no longer an option. It was steep, I was tired, and my lungs simply refused to continue with this torture so the only option I had was to go down and try to walk around. My feet also started to remind me that I was no longer twenty and this was a bit too much. By now, I had a few blisters and one of my shoes started making a very suspicious sound threatening to fall apart at the very next step. To my excitement, about twenty minutes into my new direction I made it to a very wide road covered with seemingly new asphalt. It was encouraging – maybe there are some cars coming through from time to time. I was still at the bottom of the same “bowl” which seemed to be glowing with heat from the road, so I felt like I was moving through a sauna that someone put in overdrive.

After another hour of walking without any sense of direction, I could hardly believe my ears when I heard some voices that were clearly approaching from the nearest turn of the road. The next thing I know, the cutest older couple appeared in front of me. They were dressed in colorful athletic clothes. The husband had a bright pink bandana around his forehead while his wife proudly paraded a matching fanny pack that immediately reminded me of those disgusting Pepto Bismol commercials. They both came to a screeching halt when they saw me. And no wonder – by now I was certainly a sight for sore eyes. I was covered in dust and green sports all around my shorts. My face was bright red because of the heat and some sunburn. My walk would leave even the most experienced cowboys in the dust since the blisters got so bad, I could hardly step on either foot.

I tried to smile in a friendly way which was equally hard to do with my cracked lips.

“Are you all right, honey?” the wife inquired, looking me up and down suspiciously.

“Hello,” I tried to sound upbeat. “I think I’m lost… could you tell me how to get out of here?”

She contemplated a moment longer before her eyes stopped on my star of David pendant hanging on my necklace.

“Are you Jewish?!” she asked, pushing her husband enthusiastically with her elbow.

I nodded.

“Dear, did you hear that?! Can you believe it? Here in the middle of nowhere, we find a nice Jewish girl!” another elbow. The husband continued to nod.

I tried to smile again.

“I’m sorry, but do you have any water that you can spare?” I asked immediately, feeling guilty about begging them for water on such a hot day. She didn’t seem to hear me and continued to chat about their synagogue and the trip to Israel and how it’s important to find your community to be truly happy. I was really trying not to be rude, but it did occur to me that after a few more minutes of standing on this road under the wide-open sun, I may just faint.

I have a theory, her husband was used to her chatter and learned to ignore it. He gently took my sippy bottle from my hands and poured in it half of what they had. I drank almost all of it in one gulp and instantly felt a bit better. He also grabbed my hand and placed a small piece of candy in it.

“If you go about a mile down that way, there is a playground (he gave me the name of it) and you will be able to call for a car. The signal is pretty strong there.”

I thanked them profusely before I wobbled towards the playground, finally being able to call my crew asking them to come to my rescue. By the time they arrived, I had walked 19.5 miles.