March

Jessica

I can’t go outside;

COVID-19 could be transmitted,

And even if I could,

It’s raining.

I feel like I'm in a movie.

A movie about the plague,

Or a movie about the flu.

What happens,

If I somehow,

Get the virus anyway?

I’ve only lived for 15 years.

I haven’t finished high school.

I haven’t gotten married,

And I haven’t had any children.

I haven’t traveled the world.

I know that we are,

Quarantined for our own good,

But I feel like life is passing me by,

And it makes me so sad.

I know that it’s dumb,

But as I watch the rain,

Slipping down the windows slowly,

I am so angry,

That I’m not allowed to go anywhere.

The thing is,

My best friend, Carmen,

Has this unholy virus.

She is cut off from the world,

No one can see her in the hospital,

Besides immediate family.

I pray every night,

That Carmen gets better.

I have no idea,

What I’ll do if I never see her face again.

She’s always so full of hope and light.

When she first found out,

She just said, “Well, maybe I’ll be the patient,

To help find the cure.”

I get on my phone,

And go to message my friend,

Even if she is so sick,

That she can’t even pick up her phone.

But I look and see,

That I have a message from her mother.

“Jess, I am so sorry to say,

But Carmen took a turn for the worse last night,

And she’s gone.

We can’t even have a proper funeral for her,

Because we can’t have any gatherings.

I know that this is a devastating blow,

But I hope that you can learn from Carmen,

And try to see light in these very dark times.

Love from, Mrs. Willis.”

I take a deep breath,

And sob,

Until my heart hurts.

James

As the stormy sky outside,

Thunders and lightnings,

And pours down vicious rain,

I sit on my bed,

And look out the window.

I think about how the death rates,

Keep on rising,

Higher and higher.

I think of the girl, 

Who goes to my school,

Carmen Willis. 

Just last night my father,

Who works at the hospital,

Told me that she passed away.

I think about the girl

Who is always by her side,

Jessica Cuttill.

They both laugh and smile,

They act as if,

They could live in that moment forever.

I hope that Jessica’s okay,

She must be devastated by this turn of events.

I remember how I felt,

When I lost my mother to cancer.

I felt as though the world was falling.

And that’s why,

I send her a quick text, 

That says, “Hey, try to hang in there.

I know how it feels,

But you just have to stay strong.”

I don't think that she’ll reply,

But I pray that she does.

What I needed most,

When my mother died,

Was someone I could confide in,

And share all my pain and anger with.

I take a shower,

And as I comb my hair in the bathroom,

I hear my phone ding,

With the sound of a text message.

I see that Jessica has replied.

“Hey, thanks.

But who is this?”

I answer, “James Johnson,

We have Geography together.” 

She says, “Oh, you’re that junior,

Who sits behind me right?”

I smile to myself,

And text back, “Yeah.”

I’m that junior,

Who sits right behind

The sophomore Jessica Cutill,

And looks as her soft, 

Red hair falls perfectly down her back,

And how it is cut,

In an exact line.

Yeah, I'm that junior,

Who wonders what it would be like,

To run his fingers through,

The amber-red hair,

That the sophomore has.

My father returns home,

Walks up the stairs to my room,

Peeks his head in and says, 

“Hey, this rain is killing me.

Later tonight I have to go to the hospital again,

But we could eat a quick supper together.”

I go downstairs,

And dig into the Chinese takeout,

My father has brought home.

“So, today we had 19 deaths.”

I widen my eyes,

And my father continues,

“That girl named Carmen,

Who goes to your school?

She had severe asthma.

I thinks that is why,

She didn’t successfully recover.”

I close my eyes,

Suddenly feeling immense pain,

And heartache.

My father notices and,

Putting a hand on my head,

Quickly says,

“James, what is the matter?

Do you not feel well?”

The thing,

About having a doctor for a father,

Is the fact that he’s very overprotective.

And I think part of it,

Comes from the fact that,

He’s a doctor,

And my mother died from cancer.

I shake my head,

And answer, “No,

I just wish that someone,

Would find a vaccination for this virus.”

My father looks at me sympathetically,

And says, “Yeah, I know....

But our best doctors are trying,

As hard as they can.”

I nod my head,

And ask to be excused.

My father lets me go.

I check my phone,

And see that I have another message,

From Jessica.

Jessica

James Johnson,

He’s the junior who sits,

Directly behind me,

And is always smiling.

He has a loud, 

Healthy laugh that carries,

To all corners of the room,

That he’s occupying.

Shortly after I eat supper,

He answers the question that I sent him.

I had texted him,

“What happened to you,

So that you know how it feels?”

"When I was 12,

My mother died of cancer.

I understand what it’s like,

To feel as though,

Your heart will never be whole again.

I just wanted you to have someone,

Who understands what it’s like.

Someone that you could talk to.”

At his reply, 

I start crying again,

And text back, “Thank you,

I really needed that right now.”

He replies, “Anytime”

I fall asleep,

Thinking about James.

April

James

It’s a dreary, 

Rainy day in April.

The world is still waiting for a cure,

To the coronavirus,

But no one has found it yet.

I receive a text from Jess,

Who’s become my number one,

Confidant and advocate.

“James,

I wish that I could see you,

But I’ve decided to tell you.

I love you so much,

And I know that’s a strong word,

But I can’t imagine not having you in my life.

You're the one person,

Who's stood by me no matter what,

And I don't know,

What would have happened,

If we would not have started talking.

The reason I get up in the mornings,

Is because I know that I can talk to you.”

I stare at my phone screen,

And smile.

I start to compose a text about five times,

Before I settle on,

“Hey, Jess,

I appreciate you telling me all of that,

And I want you to know that I feel the same way.

I think about you,

Every single moment of my day.

And you’re the one thing,

That keeps me going.

I want you to know that because of you,

I’ve become a better person.

I don’t know where I’d be without you,

But it wouldn’t be a good place.

I want to be able to give you the world,

And I’ll try my hardest to accomplish that dream.

But for now I’m just going to call you mine,

And never let you go.”

I press send.

Jessica

Staring down at the message,

That I just got from James,

My heart soars.

I’ve found out,

That despite the pain of Carmen’s death,

I’ve found someone that I can lean on.

That despite the rainy days,

I know that someone loves me.

I know that it’s bad to think this,

But if Carmen hadn’t died,

I never would've started talking to James.

I never would’ve met the best person in my life.

I pray every night,

That there is a cure found soon.

I don’t want to wait any longer,

To see James.

June

James

I get to see her,

Tomorrow.

I have to wait 24 hours,

But I’ll do it willingly,

As long as,

I get to see her.

All I need is to touch her once,

Make sure she’s real,

And I’ll be content,

For the rest of my life.

My father has said,

That he’s seen a new,

Gleam in my eyes.

And I know,

It’s because of Jess.

Jessica

James told me,

That his father’s,

Noticed a change in him,

Well,

I’ve noticed a change in me too.

I think about him…

All the time.

I wonder what it will be like,

To see him.

But not in my dreams,

In real life.

I see him tomorrow,

And I hope that it rains like it’s doing today.

Because it will mean,

That we’re meant to be together. 

I go to sleep,

And I know,

That I’ll be dreaming of James.

Fantasizing our first interaction with each other,

Since this whole pandemic began.

James

I wake up,

Look next to my bedroom window,

Which shows that it’s raining,

And my clock that reads 12:00.

I need to pick up Jess,

In 45 minutes.

When I stop in front of her house,

She opens the door.

She runs out,

Her red hair,

Cascading down her back,

Dodging the rain,

In a sunflower-patterned dress,

And it steals my breath away.

Jessica

I smile as I get into,

The passenger seat of James’ car, 

My dress a little damp.

He’s in a blue shirt,

The exact same ocean-blue of his eyes.

His dark brown hair,

Is effortlessly tousled,

And I find myself smiling more.

“You know,

This is exactly how it was,

When I first texted you.”

I think about that memory,

And I’m about to say something,

When James leans over,

And kisses me.

Once again, 

I feel like I’m in a movie.

I feel the fireworks,

I feel the heat,

And I know for a fact,

That this was meant to be.

James pulls away,

And I whisper, “Wow.”

He smiles and answers, “Yeah,

That was wow.”

James starts driving,

His windshield wipers,

Moving furiously,

One hand firmly linked in mine.

I feel better than I ever have before.

I know that James loves me,

And I know that I love him.

“James, do you think,

Carmen’s mad that,

I get to continue on with my life,

And fall in love,

While she’s dead? 

Not getting to experience anything?”

He’s silent for a moment,

Then he says,

Giving my hand a light squeeze,

“No, I think that she’s happy,

To see you doing okay.

I don’t think,

She would have wanted you,

To mourn her forever.” 

At that moment,

I hear a loud honk,

I hear James shout,

I feel the car spin on impact,

And I feel James’ hand in mine.

I realize that rainy days,

Are the way that James and I met,

But it’s the way James and I,

Will leave this world,

Just like Carmen.

I know that I have,

Such a short time to live,

So I breathe out,

“I love you James Johnson.”

And I hear him reply,

“I love you more, Jessica Cutill.”