Christine's Decision.

A table adorned with pastel rainbow cakes for two and warm french fries accompanied by fingers that tapped rhythmically with the bell that rung each time the door swayed, voices and laughter filling the cafe as well as leaving it.

The end of the week celebration for two friends as well as colleagues of contrasting ages for simply making it through their working week.

“You’re watching a movie tomorrow.” Marnie peered from her glasses while she devoured a handful of fries in one go.

Christine’s mouth hung low as she folded her arms, “How did you-“ she paused and saw her movie ticket sticking out of her wallet. “Nice catch.” She nodded.

“I didn’t even see that ticket, I just know.” Marnie paused, “Yes, I did see it. But I know this, you’re watching it alone.”

“Oh Marnie, there is nothing wrong with watching a movie alone. You don’t need a date or a friend to always keep you company for a movie.” Her smile spread across her face knowing Marnie would detest what she would say next, “ You just need the company of a platter of cheesy nachos and a large drink of soda."

As she guessed, Marnie rolled her eyes as she twirled her cake, collecting a rainbow on her spoon. 

“Back in my day, you mostly went to the movies, if a tall, lanky, peppermint-gelled boy would buy you a ticket, popcorn, one tub of soda, and two straws.”

Christine smiled as she picked out only the pink and blue portion of her cake.” That sounds romantic. Reminded me of a movie. ”

Marnie poured the tea onto their cups, “What is it with you and movies?” She knew the answer each time.

“It’s just something out of the ordinary, you know. Every scene is a sign, a foreshadow as to what’s next.”

Marnie sighed.

“Here we go again. And this movie for tomorrow will be full of them?”

“Oh absolutely, this one’s romantic even” she cupped her chin on her palms as she gazed at a couple outside. “The tension, the premise of destiny in one’s life.”

“Ah, Serendipity. The moment in life where all coincidences in life were in fact,” she broke into song “meant to be.”

Christine shook her head, ”That’s Synchronicity. Serendipity is simply leaving something to fates. Destiny” she exclaimed.

“Oh so theoretical you have to be always. Its toma(ay)to, toma(ah)to.” Before Christine could protest, she dusted the crisps from her fingers and pointed, “I’ve got a bad leg, is this sign to not go to Italy tomorrow?”

Christine playfully jabbed Marnie’s arm, “No mam, nothing should stop you. In fact, I hope that you will have a nice Italian man look at it for you.”

“Ah, maybe I will. And I’ll ask if he has a rich son or a nephew I could give your number to.”

Touching the brim of her tea set, “I like these cups, doesn’t it remind you of the tie Joe wore today; Shell colored baby pink tie.” 

“Speaking of, he almost caught you dazing at our meeting today, even answered a question from the sales team for you”

"You know how boring it is, every time they send someone in from Sales. Joe’s a good manager for us, much better than the previous ones.” She sunk back into her couch.

“So,” Marnie cleared her throat, “What are you going to do about this writing and film study thing. You know, when I met you five years ago, I REMEMBER, you said this was a temporary job to save some money to go to writing school.”

“Ah yes, back when I was young and full of dreams.” She timidly joked.

Marnie raised her eyebrows.

“Come on, you know what I mean. That would have flopped if I actually did try that.”

“And what about those quiet crying sessions by the work phone while sobbingly munching on those donuts I gave you in peace, it was quite a scene to watch then.” She pointed her fries at her, “I remember even telling you to go to therapy.”

Christine raised her arms, “Oh Marnie, I was just tired and scared then. I went to business school because I couldn’t go to engineering or medical school like everybody in my family. And for a moment I thought what could I do to escape from whatever I am doing.”

Her head shaking, she picked up her tea, “You are scared. You won’t admit it.”

“I still write sometimes.”

“And?”

“And?” She asked back perplexed. “It’s good for me.”

“But who is reading it?”

“No one.” Her eyebrows kneaded as she answered that question.

“Well then what’s the point?”

“Marnie, what do you mean?”

“Oh Christine, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just think if you wrote for someone, it would be more fulfilling, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. I never thought of it.” She sat with her palms over the bubbling tea.”

“Don’t tell me” her eyes widened, “You're waiting for a sign?”

Christine broke into an awkward smile, “Maybe. See, I just don’t feel like I’m there yet. If I was meant to quit this job and go to Europe and study film and writing, I just would know from some sign out there. "

“Sometimes a sign is not a leading man from a movie or a ghost of the Christmas past, “ she spat sarcastically, “finding and telling you what to do, if only you simply looked at your heart.” Marnie sighed as she looked at her ruby-stoned watch.

They got up and walked out of the cafe together, arms linked, in the late hour on the bustling street of the city.

Christine stopped and patted on Marnie’s arm, “Maybe I’ll write something for you. And when you come back from Italy, you’ll read it?”

“Yes, and maybe I’ll send you a postcard, scribble some Italian saying that sounds inspiring. Can that be a sign?”

“Depends.” Christine kissed Marnie’s cheek as she walked Marnie towards her car.

“Safe travels. Make a wish in the Trevi Fountain for me.”

She called out.

“I’ll get all the coins I can.”

Marnie blew her a kiss as she closed her door.

For Christine, she’s had this conversation ample times with Marnie, in about every cafe they dined at most Friday nights. Then she would come home, gaze at the drafts in her laptop, her handwritten scripts and stories, incomplete and abandoned. 

She would set goals in her notebook and it would suffer the same fate as her writing. Her thought process would go two ways; Maybe if I realized my dream earlier, she would think, and another, if should she had have taken another path, what would she be doing now. Perhaps, still miserable, she thought quietly. But she would never know.

The week had passed, and the desk beside her was still empty, as her Marnie was still vacationing in Italy. Reassuring Joe that she could handle the workload just until then, she got ready for the day.

“Wasn’t she supposed to come in today?” He asked her again.

“Perhaps we misunderstood the time? It's possible she will be on her way today, her messaging skills are not so top-notch like her selfie skills,” she held up her phone to reveal the goofy photos Marnie had sent.

“Is that on purpose?” He pointed to the caught off-guard men in the background of her selfies.

“Yes, she is asking me to choose which Italian man I find best handsome, and she will happily pass my number.”

“That is Marnie for you.” His cell rang, “Hold on, let me get this,”

He walked away, while Christine stood up and dusted Marnie’s desk aligning her files.

“Christine, come here a moment,” Joe called her into his cabin, his face seemed struck with shock.

She felt an odd twist in her stomach.

“I don’t know how to process this.” He clasped his hands on the table.

“What do you mean?”

“That was Marnie’s sister. Marnie passed away.”

Christine froze, trying to make out if she heard wrong. After few moments, she spoke, ” That's not possible, she just sent me a message two days ago, that her trip was going well."

“She died yesterday while swimming at the beach and she couldn't handle the sudden currents-“

No, she whispered a she stood up, her lips quivering and burst out, her vision blurred with tears.

***

Barely beating the morning rush, she hastily sat at her desk rushing to catch up on the morning tasks.

“Christine, can you come in, please?”

Christine walked in, meekly sitting in the chair.

“Good morning Joe, is this about me coming late?”

“Oh no, it’s alright. I actually have some good news for you.” He leaned forward, his face animated, “I wanted to offer you a promotion.”

Christine’s eyes widened, as she clutched a ruby-stoned watch that wrapped her wrist.

“It’s been 5 years since you’ve been here Christine, there is no one as hardworking as you. I know Marnie’s death has affected us all in the past 3 months, but you really took over. In fact, you've worked the hardest I've ever seen you.

“Ah, thank you, Joe.” She shook his hands excusing herself out, "I’ll consider it.”

Her phone rang at her desk but her feet made their way to the stairs towards the rooftop, one of her hideout places. What followed was a wallowing scream that emptied out of her, as she felt her heart pound hard. She never felt so frustrated in her whole life and she still couldn’t see why.

That night, she sat by her TV, beside her side a stack of DVDs that were emptied from her cupboard. Although she was watching a movie she adored, eventually her ears blocked out the sounds from the TV, her mind replaying back memories of today and some of her conversations with Marnie.

The next thing she knew, she got up to her work table, held the stack of manuscripts and idea notebooks, and hurriedly threw them all into her trash, catching a glimpse of her handwriting before she took the bin out. No more running away, she thought.

***

It was a day of buzz and Christine’s office looked different than before, with a new deskmate who leaned apologetically, at her table “Christine, I’m so sorry to bother you again, I left my report at your table earlier.

She handed her a stack of files, “Here you go Jenna. Make sure you add this one as well.” 

Mr. Thompson walked by calling Christine over, “How is she doing?”

“She’s caught up good. Much faster compared to when I was new here.” 

She watched the new girl fumble over papers and binders and she was reminded of herself once.

So, Jenna how are we with the meeting prep?”

“It’s alright, I’m a bit nervous, This is my first job after graduate school.”

Christine waved her hands in protest,

“You’ll be great. The team from that cabin will be helping you as well.

That's a relief,” she looked at Christine worriedly," But I wish you were really my manager Christine, it’s too bad you’re leaving.”

Christine smiled fondly at the young trainee who was going to take over her job. 

The girl reached over and placed an envelope on her desk “Oh by the way I picked up your mail while you were on break. It seems to be dated a few months back.”

After a long day, she dropped back in her apartment, her hands clutching boxes of gifts and letters of farewell, as it was her last day at the company. 

Her packing was still a long way to go as she needed a suitcase separately for her DVDs as well as her manuscripts and notebooks. 

She checked her email and replied back to the coordinator at the university in London, where she would be studying in the summer. 

For someone like Christine who spent her whole life looking for the signs she had projected to find, she may or may not have had ignored many signs entailing as to why she should have simply pushed herself to change her life earlier on.

It may have been the loss of her dear friend or the ache she felt in her heart as she threw away all her manuscripts and dreams of another life that night or simply her offered promotion, but it was the postcard from Italy that arrived today, that she held tightly to her chest, that confirmed everything.