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Fantasy Teens & Young Adult Suspense

The tragedy that occurred on August 18th, 2009, would forever haunt her thoughts and pierce her emotions.

Ever since she was twelve years old, Eritrya Payne has had random flashes of people’s deaths. No matter the cause of death, whether it was suicide, murder, death from old age, or even a car accident, each vision seemed to tell the truth.

 Often, these reports that matched her visions, were brought to Eritrya’s attention through a news station, a local newspaper or even sometimes through social media. But no matter how she found out, the stories would find her.

As time moved along and these visions continued to come true, Eritrya quickly began to realize that these vivid thoughts were more than just a coincidence. She tried to talk to her parents about her ongoing misfortune, however, they didn’t seem to care and usually brushed it off. The people that Eritrya thought she could turn to for some form of guidance, often told her that “It’s all in your head” and “You’re just imagining things”.

After countless attempts, she gave up. Accepting that it was all in her head and that she just had an active imagination. She gave into the beliefs of others, drowning out what she thought to be the truth.

It was July in the town of Novis and Eritrya had been spending time on her porch, sitting in her circular dark-purple chair. July was typically a chilly month, so Eritrya bundled herself in her blankets, with one of her favourite books in hand. She was reading “H.P. Lovecrafts Dunwich Horror” one she had read a hundred times over since the age of fourteen.

She was sixteen now. Eritrya tucked her shoulder-length black hair behind her ear, and flipped to the next page of her book. Her emerald eyes darted back and forth quickly, absorbing the words as if they were flying off the page.

Without a warning, her vision became blurry and her body temperature switched from warm to freezing. She dropped her book and forced her hands to her temples, squeezing tightly to stop the oncoming pain.

Her vision turned white, like that of a blank canvas. She shut her eyes and curled into herself. Eritrya knew what was happening. Quickly, her newest vision began to take control. Slowly, a figure of a man started to appear. As the image became clearer, she noticed that the man was wearing a police uniform. She eased off on trying to release the pain in hopes of revealing a clearer image.

The man was surrounded by other officers. Guns in hand as they faced another small group of three men, all of them were wearing masks and holding hostages at gunpoint. She focused back onto the man in which her vision began with, straining herself, trying to make out his identity but failing as her vision refused to reveal his face.

  Please!

She focused her mind into finding out who the man was. “Put your gun down now!” The man instructed the robbers. His voice was rough and gravelly yet remaining firm and confident in his speech. Her heart began to race as the feeling of dread set in. Please…no! Her mind pleaded. Tears began to well up in her eyes as the robbers yelled back, cussing out the officers and forcing their hostages forward. With quick movements, the hostages were shoved into the officers to the right of the man, and within his quick reflexes, he pointed his gun towards one of the robbers and shot him, forcing the thief’s body to the ground with a heavy thud.

Pain shot through Eritrya’s body as she envisioned the main hooligan releasing multiple bullets upon the man. The man’s gun dropped from his hand, as his body clunked to the ground seconds after the first shot was fired.

 In Eritrya’s mind, her vision was being showcased in slow motion. She witnessed the man collapse to the dust covered cement as his hands connected swiftly to the ground. The man’s soul began to escape from the fading look in his eyes.

 Father!

She tried to push her mind further, to see more, to identify the killer. Her temples burned like hellfire. She wailed and squeezed her head, laying shakily on her porch. The next twenty minutes would be spent recovering from her vision, the pain slowly subsided, as her thoughts fell into a dark pit of nothingness, almost as if somebody had flipped a switch to turn off her mind, releasing her of all thoughts and disconnecting her mind from all of her emotions, leaving her only with a brief open window to spare for critically thinking.

Eritrya managed to collect herself the night of her vision, resting most of the next morning. It was the afternoon when she made the decision to go talk to her parents about her most recent vision. It was of the most importance this time, and to be taken seriously, nothing to be ignored or mocked.

 But what if they didn’t believe me? Or what if I was making it up? It doesn’t matter, I still need to try to protect my family. 

  Taking a deep breath, she marched out of her dimly lit room and followed the stairs down to the family room, where her parents sat happily. Wrapped in each other’s arms on the couch, they both welcomed her with a warm smile, and invited their daughter to sit on the couch to accompany them in watching Dirty Truths, the movie they had decided upon watching that night.

  “Heya honey, how are you feeling?” Her mum inquired, tossing Eritrya a blanket as she spoke. “We need to talk Mum and Dad, it’s very important actually.” Eritrya stared at the ground for a few minutes before slowly continuing. “I had a vision…a vision of Dad” Her eyes froze on her dad filling with grief. “Of Dad….dying….on duty. You have to believe me. I swear I’m telling the truth, I’m not making it up. Please! At least this once listen. It’s real… I just don’t know when it will happen.” Eritrya pleaded for her parents to trust her, hoping they would see how serious she was, her green eyes attempting to pierce their minds, trying to convince them that she was of a sane mind.

  “We have talked about this Eri.” They sighed, looking at her with sympathy as they did many times before. “We will contact your therapist in the morning. Get to bed now and sleep this off, it will be good for you darling.” She felt defeated as she listened to her father ignore her warning.

  Eritrya threw the blanket to the side, letting it fall off the couch, ignoring it, as she didn’t care. She used her frustration as momentum, pushing herself, to make her way back upstairs. She slumped onto her bed upon entering her room.

I have to do something. Maybe Wynne will help. I have to stop this.

 Closing her eyes, she drifted into a resting state, her thoughts scattered into planning. She was going to figure out how she could stop her father from being murdered.

___

            Over the next few days, Eritrya became engaged with the police radio that she had stolen from her father. She sat in the garage, hoping to maintain some form of privacy, making sure that her parents wouldn’t stop her from fighting for her father’s life. She had memorized certain codes well enough and thought she could at least keep an ear out. If her vision began to translate over the radio, maybe she would be able to try and put a stop to the situation. Luckily, no news about any active robberies were announced, allowing for a few moments of calmness to flow over her, before snapping back to the reality of a buzz in her pocket.

Eritrya’s hand moved to her pocket, grabbing her phone and glancing at the name Wynne Harris as it was flashing across the screen. Clinking the radio off with her left hand, she answered the phone with her right, “Hey Wynne, Carls Coffee?” Eritrya confirmed, as she stood up to grab her jacket in her free hand.

“You betcha!” Wynne chirped through the top speaker. Moving the phone away from her ear she smiled; ending the call, exiting the garage, turning the light off and shutting the door. Her arms found their way into the jacket sleeves after being nicked at by the cold air. Tucking her phone into her pocket she set off to the east, towards Main street where Carls was located. It sat between Janes flower shop and Novis Grocery and Pharmacy, which where all just a six minute walk away from her home, but a fifteen minute walk from anywhere else in their small town.

When she arrived to Main street, it was almost empty, as many people huddled inside the shops for warmth, weak against the chill that lingered outside.

 At least I don’t have to listen to their shit today.

 Eritrya chuckled but deep down thanking whatever goddess would listen to her gratitude. While Novis was her home, the people were not her family. She couldn’t care less if they were to, let’s say, die.

Her feet carried her swiftly to Carls, where she saw Wynne smiling in the window, holding up two cups of steaming liquid, shaking them to signal you owe me.

The chimes above the door announced Eritrya’s entrance. A young man looked up from behind the counter, greeting her with a smile and yelled a: “Good afternoon!” before continuing on helping the customer that stood before him. Carl was the only actual decent person here. He didn’t necessarily agree with everyone’s beliefs or life choices, but at least he wasn’t a gossiping asshole about it like the rest of the wretched townspeople.

She took a seat across from Wynne, grabbing her chamomile tea from her hands. Holding it tightly she took a sip of the calming hot liquid, feeling it warm up her insides. “How have you been Eri?” Wynne touched her friends arm, letting her know she was going to take her seriously and that she was actually concerned about her and what she went though. Wynne believed her.

 “I’ve definitely been better” She let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve been trying to hold on, push through. I just don’t know what to do at this point. What if he really dies Wynne?” She finished, looking down at the table pulling on her jacket sleeve. Her mind filled with every possible worst case scenario, any and all hope leaving her mind and body.

“You took that radio right? You’ll be able to hear if anything happens? Given a chance to delay him maybe? Your father is smart and strong, he’ll be okay. Maybe, this vision won’t end up to be true, just breathe okay?”

Wynne always knew exactly what to say, her best friend was the only one who knew everything and believed her. She smiled slightly and looked at Wynne’s sympathetic face, it was sincere.

Eritrya closed her eyes and took a deep breathe in, laughing as she exhaled. “Thank you. Truly Wynne, it means a lot. You’re right too, I have the radio, I know where my dad keeps his equipment and keys to the car. If need be, I could delay or even stop him from going altogether. I just hope this vision isn’t true, I don’t know what mum and I would do if we lost him.”

She took another sip of her tea slumping back into her chair, staring out of the window and watching the glistening snowflakes fall peacefully to the ground.

Everything will be okay

Eritrya turned to face Wynne as the two fell into a meaningful pointless chatter like two completely normal teenage girls.

__

August 17th rolled around and still, the radio hadn’t announced any robberies. It had been three weeks since Eritrya first had the vision of her father’s demise. She grew restless with every day that passed, wishing her parents would believe her.

 The town clock began to ring, signaling the tenth hour of the night. Eritrya sighed, shutting her book and shoving it to the side table. She stood up and made her way to the workbench where the radio was sitting on and clicked it off, ending all chatter. Her dad was off at six, but sometimes off duty officers would be called in. It was a small town and they didn’t have a huge workforce. She tucked her hair behind her ear with her right hand, while she used her left hand to flick off the light to the garage, swiftly exiting through the door. She closed it, but didn’t lock it - there was no need.

She swerved her way through the backyard and into the house via the sliding patio doors. She passed by the living room, glancing at her parents as they sat on the couch watching the game. Everything was incredibly peaceful and normal.

Maybe there is nothing to worry about.

Her eyes turned to the ground, following her feet as she marched up the stairs, gripping onto the railing for support. She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to look into her parents’ room. Without any conscious thought, she made her way into the room, then the closet, and into her father’s safe that sat on the back shelf.

She unlocked it instantly, taking out his gun and shutting the door to the safe soon after. Eritrya hid the gun under her shirt, she hurried to her room where she tucked it under a loose floorboard by her window.

Can’t do much if he doesn’t have this, just for good measure.

 She moved to open the window by a couple inches, letting in the fresh chill of the dark night. Eritrya threw on her pajamas and brushed her teeth before crawling into bed, feeling at peace with her questionable decision.

___

          Eritrya shot up as she heard her father swearing out in the hall “Where the fuck did my gun go! I don’t have time for this, half of our force is out of town and I need to be there! Fuck! Never mind, I’ll call in one of the guys to bring an extra to the scene. I need to go!” Before she could comprehend, her father sped away with his sirens blaring.

She jumped out of bed and rushed to the window watching the lights flash away. Panting, Eritrya opened her floorboard and grabbed the gun. Rushing out of her room and down the stairs, she passed by her mother who sat at the kitchen table with her leg bouncing up and down. Her mother rested her hand on her temple, anxious at the danger that loomed. Eritrya opened and slammed the door before her mother could finish calling out to her.

Eritrya didn’t consciously know where she was going, but her subconscious dragged her to the alley where the robbery was taking place. The events she saw in her mind were already on their course. She saw the hostages get shoved forward, into the officers on the right, her father shot one of the thieves and his body fell to the ground. Before she could scream or move, the frontman unleashed the bullets into her father and he fell lifeless before her eyes.

She stood shocked for what seemed like hours, but was only a couple of seconds before she finally began to move forward slowly. Her body began to shake and tears started to fill her eyes. Her arms raised up with the gun in hand, her pointer finger slid over the trigger and she lined the gun up to the man’s body. The shadows hid her, no one was able to stop her and she wasn’t about to stop herself.

She felt the gun kick back as she pulled the trigger, nailing the man three times in the chest, her eyesight growing blurry from the excess tears that welled in her eyes. The man fell to the ground slowly as she dropped the gun and ran towards her father dropping over his body screaming, crying about how she could have stopped his death if she had just tried harder. The officers managed to disarm and handcuff the third thief, after he was taken back from the events he just witnessed, but now everyone just watched the poor girl.

Eritrya was frozen in place over her father’s body, sobbing into his chest begging him to come back, apologizing for not doing more. Her mom flashed in her mind, and she let out one final thought that she would repeat over and over for the next few hours:

What the fuck am I going to do?

June 19, 2021 02:27

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4 comments

Daniel R. Hayes
06:17 Jun 28, 2021

This was a great story, Violet! I thought the opening sentence was very strong, and immediately grabbed my attention. I loved that she had visions, and think that was a good idea to have the story take shape around that. This line was great: "at least he wasn’t a gossiping asshole about it like the rest of the wretched townspeople" - How true is that? I think every small town has this problem... lol :) I was very sad at the end with her father dying, I thought she was going to prevent it. I guess visions never lie. Overall, I really...

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Violet Lake
22:52 Jun 28, 2021

Thank you again for taking the time to read my story. I'm actually writing a novel based on this and thought the prompt was a perfect excuse to receive some feedback on the idea! It is definitely not going to happy a happy ending though lmao. Do you think this was enough to draw you into reading more of the story? I am also going to be uploading any stories I have here onto Wattpad. They will be under the account VLwritings. I will also be publishing any other random short stories I write that maybe don't match the prompts on this site. ( ...

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Daniel R. Hayes
04:44 Jun 29, 2021

Hi Violet, I think this is a great start, and I think it's wonderful that your working on a novel. I've never heard of Wattpad, but it sounds cool. I'm still a little new to this whole writing thing, so I wouldn't know what platforms to recommend to you yet. If I learn of any, I'll let you know :)

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Kendall Defoe
17:53 Jul 23, 2021

Impressive, Ms. Lake... I will follow...

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