A Saint's Embrace

Trigger Warning: Mild Gore, Guns, Death, Corpses

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” shaking words of a still man. Yes, there were tears on his face, yes he was sad and scared and frustrated, but he was still. It looked as if his body was moving while his mind told it to stop. Eyes and face both overflowed with crying but with a perfect aim. Arms up, gun cocked and trigger pushed. As the strange little object flew from the gun to the person’s face, his body flew back. 

“I’m sorry I had to, I had… to,” his body moved towards the new corpse, but this time it was his heart that made it move. Both knees on the floor and the still warm hands of an empty body in the cold hands of the man responsible for its lack of life. The hands were brought to his lips, and slowly and quietly they were kissed. Then the tears were no more and the body was no more. Another affair ended. 

If you have ever walked along the streets of this city, you would know about the Silver Saint. A woman that is said to be nothing but cruel and vicious, a short and fat mastermind dressed in only the most expensive things. You are either known as the ‘Saint' because you are one or because you aren’t, it was easy to see why she earned that nickname. Sure, there is a government, but everyone knows who really runs the city, who sets the rules, who gets the money. The ones who lived to tell the tale know her silver blade too close. She has pawns, of course, but it is her who does the torture. People live but not out of mercy, no, it's out of sadism that she lets them run. She marks her signature onto their bodies, she cuts little pieces out of them, she makes sure that they will never forget, and then she opens the door. She wants to see how the victims try to live a normal life after that. 

They say that she actually drinks blood and tears, and while it might be a myth, no one will try to find out. Looking into the eyes of the devil herself is something hard to forget. Her grin full of insanity, her hands ready to kill. If there wasn’t evidence of what she does, her name would be in a book next to Slender-man or Babadook. Oh! if only she was fake, if only the truth behind her was a story to scare kids.

Even then it's easy to advert your eyes, and she is gone, for she is just a nightmare to many. In the case of the weeping murderer, she was not the Silver Saint, she was not the devil, she was simply ‘mom’. Truth to be told she might have been pure evil, but she was a decent mother. This fact just made it harder to try to tell her the truth. 

“Julien! Glad to see that you made it back alright. ” Dressed in a dark green suit matched with a white boa stood the ruler of what one could only assume was a mafia. 

“How could I not, mom. You are literally the leader of crime…” 

“Oh but a mother is always concerned about her little rascal. Besides, I might lead crime but I don’t control it… well actually I do!” A surprisingly warm laugh came from the woman facing away from her son. 

“Whatever you say, mom. Anyways I killed them like you asked.” She turned around and put her hands against Julien’s face. 

“Oh I’m glad, they were truly a… oh, darling, did you cry?” Before the man got to even come up with an excuse, she continued, “Don’t lie to me, boy. I may have taught you to lie and hide your emotions better than anyone out there but you can’t lie to me. Your nose is red, your eyes are puffy, what happened? Did someone hurt you? I’ll make them regret-“

“It’s… not… like that. I didn’t declare, no one broke my heart. I’m physically okay. I was crying, yes. I was crying because… because…” He averted his eyes from the Silver Saint, how could he tell his own mother that he didn’t want to follow in her footsteps? He’s the only thing she loves!

“Because? Well you know what! It doesn’t matter. You probably don’t wanna talk about it so I won’t push your buttons any harder. Anyhow we should get going, or did you forget there was a gala tonight?” He looked back at her, surprised. Then he checked on his watch. He opened the calendar and saw the initials AG written. Well, it definitely was tonight. 

“Right. I'll go change then.”

While he wasn’t as eccentric as his mother, Julien definitely had a strong sense of fashion. He opted to wear a white three-piece with golden thread used to add detail to the suit. His black hair was pushed back, except for a strand that was let loose. You could definitely see the resemblance between him and his mother, he was not tall, with broad shoulders and an overall big structure. His eyes were both almost completely gray. 

Of course, you could not forget the golden watch and the hidden dagger just in case something went fatally wrong, in any case it wouldn’t be the first time. It's not like he enjoyed having to carry something like that around but he couldn’t help it, after all many people wanted his mother to suffer. Not many knew what he really looked like but when an all powerful she-devil is invited to something and she brings someone with her it's only safe to assume she cares about them. 

It didn’t take long for them to be stepping out of a car and entering the event. Their stunning looks turned heads, of course they did, because no one recognized a cold killer when they are dressed in gold. The gala took place in the house of the Gillar family, rich people with nothing to fear except for the Silver Saint. An architectural masterpiece of a place; pillars with carved roses, walls covered with only the best of paintings and big windows decorated by long handmade drapes that matched the atmosphere of the place to the very essence. It was nothing if not a gorgeous place, and the decorations put up for the night just made it better. 

“Oh, there they are! Let’s go say hello to Elise and Trevor, after all they were kind enough to invite us to their party!” Like all mothers do, the Silver Saint took her son over to say hello to people that he should know but definitely didn’t. 

Formal greetings are always a bother in Julien’s eyes. The idea of a firm handshake or bow just seems ridiculous to him, though many people greet him that way due to his status. He grabbed Elise Gillar’s hand and… kissed it. 

Gun.

Point.

Shoot. 

Back again in front of a corpse. Their hands are still warm. Their blood is still there. Julien reaches down. Tears still run.

I’m sorry.

I had to. 

I had to.

Hand to his mouth, he kisses it. A sweet soft kiss full of grief and guilt. Then he is not there, the body is not there. 

“Forgive me I seem to have lost my train of thought!” A handsome smile accompanied the lie, “I’m just glad to meet with you again.” Another lie.

“Of course dear! It's always a pleasure having you and your mother around…” They seem to get lost in conversation, Elise, Trevor and the Silver Saint that is. While Julien’s body was there, his mind was screaming in agony. I can’t take it anymore, I simply can’t! Every time he blinked there was a body next to him, one that he had seen before. The voices of the glamorous conversation were muted away by despair and agony. An empty void full of misery had control over the man’s mind and the one thing he could think was I can’t keep doing this I can’t keep doing this I can’t I can’t I can’t I-

“Oh my! I’m so sorry but I seem to have dropped my ring in the car! Julien would you be a dear and help me look for it?” Of course she knew he had something on his mind! How wonderful!

“Okay… um… if you’ll excuse us.”

Once they were out of earshot, she began to ask many questions answered by idduno and not really.

“Then what is it! What in the seven rings of hell is making my son so sad and stressed and worried!? You seriously thought I didn’t notice? I kept quiet, waiting for you to come to me to ask for help but you didn’t! I know you are 23 and maybe for you that is independent but in my eyes you are still a child! What is going on with you?” 

“You want to know? I'll tell you! I know you want me to keep this empire you have created alive, okay? What I… What I've done and what I will continue to do if I try to be like you haunts me! I can’t… I can’t… I can’t KILL WITHOUT IT HAUNTING ME! ALL THE NAMELESS FACES THAT I'VE SHOT! I CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS! I’M SORRY I JUST-“ he screamed his emotions away, then his eyes widened and he covered his crying face with his hands. Curses rolled out of his mouth in-between hiccups and indecipherable blabbers. His mother was left stunned. The realization of what he had said struck her. 

A shaking hand was moved onto his shoulder, cautiously. Then, at the sight of no violent reactions, it became an embrace. A silent acknowledgment of what they both had decided upon with no words. One single action that simply denied what he said. It was her way of saying Oh, but I don’t want you to lead my life. 

The trauma wouldn’t go away just because of a simple action, but sure enough it meant that he could stop breaking, and as such heal. 

The devil has a nickname, yes she does, Silver Saint they call her. Yet in her madness, she cares for her child. The only logic she has is that just because she is a devil, her son doesn’t need to grow horns and a tail too.