Pain to Power

“Waiting for you is the hardest and most beautiful thing I have ever done in my life. I can't wait for the day to wake up, turn my head and kiss you.” Woke up with a lot of these thoughts and surrounded by my people all over cheering, encouraging and wishing me luck for what I am about to do. Quickly finished my shower and did some prayers while waiting for the big day. “Anu are you ready, it’s already time shall we proceed”, heard a voice from nurse Mary. I am in this hospital for my delivery.

According to me, I was ready for delivery. While the nurse took me to the labor ward , made me lie down and placed some wires on the machine which monitored the pain and fetal heart rate.

 I was completely engrossed with a couple of thoughts, “Nine months of pregnancy had passed by quickly few unforgettable moments of intense hormonal changes include morning sickness, heartburn, anxiety, sleeplessness and a lot of pleasant moments like cute little kicks, heart beat all the more love and care from the family they pampered me even before going to the labor ward.” I was extremely pleased with the fact that I could do all household chores till the end of the term and was physically fit and could live life as usual. In short, apart from growing belly and severe tiredness towards the end, I didn't face too many health problems.

“It’s totally normal to feel a fairly intense combination of nervous, scared, excited before delivery don’t worry, our prayers are always with you for safe delivery,” said the husband in an encouraging, motivating tone. While he was saying the above lines, by way of acknowledging my baby kicked from inside and we enjoyed the moment and talking with the baby “littlest feet make the biggest footprints in our hearts.” Suddenly the doctor came to check me up.

After half an hour of thorough analysis the doctor said,'' contractions occur slightly and not regularly, let's wait for active labor contractions.” Words of the doctor created a scared feeling in me and went to carry on with her work , she had instructed a couple of nurses to assist me. While waiting for labor pain , my intuition said ,”It's ok to be scared, being scared means you are about to do something really, really brave.” To add on, as my intuitions said, I was brave enough to survive in labor ward for over 8 hours

I had to patiently wait for 3 more hours till the doctor again came to check up. At the first when doctor said to wait for active labor contraction was completely depressed as was made to sleep on bed on my back with lot of wires attached in body and couldn’t turn sides and had to starve till delivery but one good thing is they allowed me to drink water that to someone should pour for me to drink.

One story I can relate so much to my situation is Robert and Spider, Robert was king of Scotland, king of England had fought battle after battle to make Scotland part of England. They had beaten six times his men until finally they were driven into a fight and it forced the king to hide in the woods and in a lonely place . He was tired and felt sick at heart and was ready to give up all hope. In that place he noticed a spider trying to weave a web in the cave six times it failed but that spider did not lose hope. It tried another time with even more care and it successfully made it this time. This incident gave him more confidence, and he made it in the seventh time.

Same as King Robert the Bruce there were situations I felt restless and was ready to give up. A lot of times I felt to run away from this place but that is not possible because my baby is fully grown up and ready to come to this world someday for the other thing to happen.” Running away from a problem is never the solution to the problem; face the problem and make the problem run away, leaving us.”

I prepared my mind to resist this situation for some more time, to my rescue came the doctor but this time turned the situation even worse. This time while the doctor was examining, my waters broke. As soon as this happened I thought it’s hardly few more minutes to deliver but to my surprise she told my people,”Water has broken but tiny dilation in cervix, one good thing is baby’s heartbeat is normal so we will wait for normal delivery, once heartbeat drops we will have to proceed with cesarean.” My mother-in-law came up to me and said,'' Brace up, take courage and stay vibrant. We are all praying for safe delivery.``

I have heard a lot about Cesarean like, “a lot of risks surround the mother and child after delivery.” I prepared my mind that whatever might happen, my baby should be born through normal delivery and will allow no risk for me and my baby in the future. My baby is much precious to me, and will make his birthday worth remembering.

It’s not only me who was solely responsible for the normal delivery, but my darling baby played a very important role. Doctor said,” baby’s heartbeat was normal which gave us confidence to proceed with normal delivery.” I was never this much Brave and courageous, the little one showed a new side of me to the world. And of course the doctors and nurses were very much supportive throughout the delivery. 

After my water broke is when the actual pain started. It was more of a tightening that got worse and worse until it peaked, then dropped off. I could have had this pain once in an hour or even once every 15 minutes . I would have been able to tolerate it. But just as soon as you get through one contraction another is coming, that’s what wears you down. Contractions lasted for more than 3 and half hours.

At around 6:45 pm my little boy was born with a high-pitched cry that created a sense of relief to all my people standing outside and waiting for the answer. Words cannot describe the moment the nurse bought my baby, he was so cute that I could see a mini me in him then Overwhelmingly kissed him on his forehead as a means of welcoming him to this beautiful world.

All my people came one by one to see me and my son. Husband came with a lot of tears and love for saw and kissed both of us. Thanked me for bearing all pain and brought our little one to the world. Then came my mother , she couldn’t resist her tears, hugged me firmly and poured her heart out and said, “The girl who used to be afraid of injections once, is the same who smiles after long severe labor pain.” My in-laws appreciated me for courage of withstanding pain for over 8 hours.

Few thoughts that propped up my son, “Promise to always love you in wherever you are, and I promise to be there for you whenever you need me.”

Would like to end this with a final thought, “if you are to catch a beautiful butterfly, you should be sure of controlling your reflexes and maintain patience until you get hold of it”. Similarly, I had to wait patiently for this cute little one, which is worth the wait!!