My True Self

My true self will be shaped by what I leave behind with my lingering shadows. The echoes of my actions in the silence of the night.

I often ponder how we can reflect on our lingering shadows, as they are part of who we are, yet we often deny them.

I must create my own identity and find meaning in the present because of the lack in my childhood, especially since I was abandoned at three years old. I’ve never worked on my identity until now.

Since I was three, I’ve taken on different characters, used various methods to communicate with people on their level, made others smile, laugh, or even cry.

I am a visual and fast learner, use American Sign Language to communicate, and have hidden my identity.

Now, I struggle to find happiness due to my addictions and anger, which have impacted my mind.

This is why I write and reflect on my lingering shadows, which are the most difficult for me to understand and see clearly.

I need to be tricked into understanding them quickly, but otherwise, it will be a long process.

I’ve been alone for most of my life. Yet, I know myself better than anyone else, and I know my heart more than anyone else.

I cannot see myself and my identity clearly.

I am unknown, mysterious, complex, and often rebellious with a bad attitude, especially during conflict.

Now, I must learn to love people as I love myself, and that is what complicates everything. It is the only way I can reflect on this method.

"I am scared of the truth, and this fear is something I am deeply suffering from. Admitting this is difficult, but I know it’s a necessary step in my journey. The shadows of my past haunt me, and the pain of my childhood abandonment still lingers. I have hidden behind different characters and methods of communication, always adapting to others’ needs while neglecting my own identity.”

Now, as I confront my addictions and anger, I realize how much these unresolved issues have impacted my happiness. Writing about my lingering shadows is challenging because it forces me to face parts of myself that I have long denied. I feel alone in this struggle, yet I know that understanding and integrating these shadows is crucial for my healing.

“I am complex, mysterious, and often rebellious, especially in conflicts. Learning to love others as I love myself is a daunting task, but I believe it is the only way to truly reflect and grow. This journey is long and arduous, but I am committed to finding my true self and creating a meaningful identity."

I’ve bravely admitted that I fear the truth and that this fear is causing me suffering. This is a crucial step in facing and eventually overcoming these fears.

My early abandonment has left a lasting impact on my identity and sense of self. Recognizing this helps in understanding the root of some of my current struggles.

I’ve adapted to various roles and methods of communication, often hiding my true self. This adaptability is a strength, but it has also led to a lack of a clear personal identity.

These issues are currently affecting my happiness and mental well-being. Acknowledging them is the first step towards seeking help and finding healthier coping mechanisms.

Despite feeling alone, I have a deep understanding of myself and my heart. This self-awareness is an asset in my journey.

I describe myself as complex, mysterious, and often rebellious. These traits can be challenging but also indicate a rich inner world and a strong sense of individuality.

The challenge of learning to love others as I love myself is significant. It suggests a need for self-compassion and understanding, which can then be extended to others.

Despite the difficulties, I am committed to finding my true self and creating a meaningful identity. This determination will be a guiding force in my journey.

“Viewing your past as pieces of a puzzle is a powerful metaphor. Each piece, whether joyful or painful, contributes to the complete picture of who you are. Embracing all parts of your story can lead to a more integrated and authentic self.”

Acknowledging that the path is not straightforward is important. The twists and turns you encounter reveal different aspects of your psyche, helping you grow and understand yourself more deeply.

Recognizing your fears, pains, and mistakes as strengths rather than weaknesses is a significant shift. This perspective allows for healing and transformation, turning past struggles into sources of resilience.

Your use of writing as a sanctuary is a testament to the power of creative expression. It provides a safe space to explore and release emotions, helping you map out areas that need attention and care.

Learning to be gentle with yourself and practicing self-compassion is crucial. By treating yourself with kindness, you lay the foundation for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

Embracing the ongoing nature of your journey, with its challenges and moments of clarity, shows your resilience and hope. This continuous process of confronting and understanding your shadows will lead to a clearer sense of self and the courage to live authentically.

Now, as I confront my addictions and anger, I realize how much these unresolved issues have impacted my happiness. Writing about my lingering shadows is challenging because it forces me to face parts of myself that I have long denied. I feel alone in this struggle, yet I know that understanding and integrating these shadows is crucial for my healing.

I am complex, mysterious, and often rebellious, especially in conflicts. Learning to love others as I love myself is a daunting task, but I believe it is the only way to truly reflect and grow. This journey is long and arduous, but I am committed to finding my true self and creating a meaningful identity."

“Such a snarky and snide character he may be.

He knows what is right and loves to play with words.

When his attitude sours, nothing goes well.

Anger grants him authority, paired with sly and slippery speech.

He can unintentionally hurt friends with harsh words.

Speaking first and thinking second, he often uses speech to underhandedly insult others. His words are clever, unexpected, and witty, often carrying double meanings as he wields them like weapons.

He fakes emotions with exaggerated facial expressions and often says the opposite of what he means.

Always having an answer for everything, he poses rhetorical questions to make a point or confuse others.

Misunderstood regularly, he jokes or teases with a straight face and often uses plays on words.

He couches criticism in vague terms, rolling his eyes and sighing behind others’ backs most of the time.

On his good side, he enjoys teasing others.

Yet, beneath this veneer of sarcasm lies a sharp intellect that can be both a blessing and a curse. His quick wit not only entertains but also alienates those who do not see the humor behind his barbs. It is a defense mechanism, a protective shield he wields to keep vulnerability at bay.

Despite his prickly exterior, he cares deeply for those close to him, often showing his affection through light-hearted banter. His friends, though occasionally bruised by his words, know that his sarcasm is not rooted in malice but in a complex interplay of insecurity and sharp observation.

In quieter moments, away from the spotlight of his often-biting humor, he reveals a softer side. It is in these rare instances that one might catch a glimpse of the genuine concern and loyalty he harbors for his loved ones, hidden beneath layers of irony and wit.

Grumpiness Thriving is all about flourishing and growing in the best practical way. It goes beyond mere survival or getting by; it is about achieving well-being and fulfillment in all aspects of life. This state of thriving marks by a sense of purpose, strong social connections, and the ability to overcome challenges with resilience. It means having physical, emotional, and mental well-being in balance. People who thrive often feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from their work, relationships, and personal growth.

Imagine a sarcastic guy like me channeling his cleverness and wit into something constructive using his humor to build others up instead of tearing them down. He could find ways to express his feelings more constructively, seek support when he is feeling overwhelmed, and work on building stronger, more positive relationships. That is when he would be thriving.” - Alex Hawkins, Deaf Storyteller