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Drama

The Lonely City Girl

Nancy Patrick was a small town girl.  Her home place of Elders, Wyoming was quaint and cozy.  Everyone said hello to each other and helped one another out.  There was joy and if someone had a run of bad luck then everyone pitched in.  Once, the Newton’s house burnt down and all of the town folk had lent a helping hand.  The house was rebuilt quickly and while they were waiting for their new place to be finished, they stayed at friends and all of their belongings were replaced.

Nancy would have loved to remain in Elders, but she managed to land a very lucrative job in Chicago.  

“I don’t want to live in a big city, momma.”

“I know you don’t, but there’s nothing for you here.  You have worked too hard not to take advantage of this good fortune.”

The whole town had a huge celebration to see her off. After all, it wasn’t every day that someone from Elders made it to the big city, nevertheless Chicago. All of the town folk had advice for her and she received dozens of presents.

For the first week, she called her mom up every day. Then the phone calls were about three or four times a week. Then they were twice a week and gradually once a week.  

Her mother smiled, because her daughter was settling in the big city.

Chicago was a great city. There were so many things to see and do. Every weekend, Nancy would pick something to do like go to the Lincoln Park Zoo, or take a boat ride on Lake Michigan. Grant Park was a favourite, as was Millennium Park. The Garfield Park Conservatory was super great. She visited the Museum of Contemporary Art and the Chicago River Walk. Nancy took tons of pictures and sent them back home.

Nancy was doing okay. She still missed her small town and family and friends. But work was very busy and the long hours made her forget about home and everything and everyone that was there.

Her boss, Mr. Milton, was a very nice man in some ways. He liked her, but not as much as Marjorie the secretary. He seemed obsessed with the woman.  

Marjorie was a nice, thirty something woman. She was kind to Nancy and seemed to look out for her. On the first day of work, it was the secretary that had waved her over to sit at the lunch table. 

It was a very nice gesture.

“Everyone, I want you to meet Nancy.”

They all smiled and she smiled back.

“So where are you from Nancy?” Geraldine looked at her.

“I am from a town called Elders, Wyoming. I’m afraid that I am a hick compared to a city dweller.”

Geraldine laughed. 

“Oh, Nancy, I love someone so young and fresh and innocent. There is nothing wrong with being a hick.”

“I guess not.”

“Maybe you think you don’t fit in the big city but remember if some city dweller as you call them went to Elders or some other small town they would be the one that felt out of place.”

“I never looked at it that way.”

“Yes, Chicago is a big city but there are a lot of nice people. I grew up in Chicago.” Neal smiled at Nancy.

“That is great.”

“I had an aunt that was born in a small town in Ohio with a population of maybe a thousand if you count all of the dogs, cats, horses, cows, pigs, chickens and rabbits.”

He laughed.

“Elders has a population of about three thousand people to it minus all of the farm animals.”

“Were you born and raised on a farm?”

“No, we were lived in downtown Elders.”  She laughed and everyone laughed along.

“So, Marjorie, you managed to escaped Mr. Milton’s shadow for a while.”

“Yes, I did. He is a good boss, just lonely. His wife died last year.” She looked at Nancy when she made this statement.

Nancy nodded her head because she understood.

“He really likes Marjorie.”

Marjorie rolled her eyes.

“That’s because he is disorganized and I organize him. He is very thankful, but I don’t get any special treatment.”

“Actually, she doesn’t. She is just very good at the job.”

“I do enjoy working here. Nancy, do you like it so far?”

“I do.” She seemed to hesitate.

“Is there something wrong?”

“Well, obviously, I miss my family and friends. But more than anything, I miss the lifestyle of living back in Elders. You have all lived in a big city for a while, I gather. Don’t you ever feel really alone despite the fact that you are surrounded by like millions of people?”

Marjorie shrugged her shoulders.  

“I guess in a way, sometime I do.”

All of the others thought about it and agreed.

“You have a point there.”

“This is the vacuum effect of living in a big city. While there are lots of people, the psychological position of each individual is one of isolation. I mean how many people do you know in Chicago? Experts say that it is much easier to feel alone in a packed city than it is in a small town because the human connection isn’t there.”

“That makes sense.”

“Anyway, lunch is almost over.”

They finished up and then threw out their garbage and walked to the elevators together chatting and laughing.

Maybe, I am not so alone in the big city, thought Nancy.

The days and weeks rolled by. Every day, the same people went to lunch together. They laughed and more and more, Nancy felt part of the group. However, outside of work, they didn’t socialize. Her time on the weekends was spent as a tourist.

Marjorie worked late nights as Mr. Milton kept her on. Often, she would ask Nancy to stay and she did. They would have supper together.

But, one night, when Mr. Milton asked Marjorie to stay late, she obliged.  

“By the way, I don’t need the young girl to stay.”

Marjorie nodded her head and seemed to understand. When she saw Nancy, the secretary relayed the message.

“I am staying late tonight see you tomorrow.”

“You don’t want any company?”

“No, I am good.”

“Oh,” Nancy smiled, but she was hurt.

She was on her way home and in the elevator when she remembered that she had forgotten to log out of her account. So she returned to the office. Her cubicle had a very slight angle look into Marjorie’s office. She was there and so was Mr. Milton.  

They appeared to be arguing. And then, he struck her hard with a blunt object. Marjorie went down hard and Nancy wanted to go to her to see if she was okay, but was afraid of Mr. Milton.

She slipped out of the office and went home.

All night long, she could not sleep and when it was time to go to work, she was a little leery. After all, the poor girl had only managed to get about two hours of sleep.

She made it into work the next day and there was a huge crowd in the main lobby.  

Nobody was allowed to go inside.

“What happened?”

Nancy didn’t say a word.

Eventually, a detective appeared. He looked solemn.

“My name is Detective Harris and I will need to talk to each and every one of you.”

“About what?”

“It seems that there was an altercation last night between Mr. Milton and his secretary Marjorie.”

Everyone looked at each other puzzled.

“What type of altercation?”

“He murdered her.”

Everyone was too stunned to talk. Nancy felt like running away screaming, but she held it together.

It was a long day at work. Nothing was accomplished and everyone was sent home. The division of the company was up in the air and everybody wondered if they were going to have a job the next day.

Detective Harris and his partner Detective Volante interrogated everyone.

“Did they have a special relationship?”

“She stayed late a lot of nights when he asked her to.”

“He never gave her any special treatment and there was nothing going on.”

When it was Nancy’s turn to be asked questions, she answered them but was afraid.

Did the detectives know this?

Later on, she went home like the others and stayed up most of the night. There was a great feeling of guilt. He had slugged her upside the head with a paper weight that she had on her desk. It was a bust of William Shakespeare. Marjorie was big fan.

Did Mr. Milton know I was saw anything?

The detectives had been looking for him all day and he had not been found. It was all over the news.

Nancy contemplated going back to Elders.

There is a guy out in the city that maybe thinks your testimony can put him behind bars for murder. He is free and probably looking for you.

The young girl had never felt so alone in her life as she looked over the lit up city that pulsated and energized with millions of lives each with their own story.

Lunch was over and it had gone very well.

A girl moves to the big city and is terrified because she sees a murder. It was her boss who killed his secretary and she can’t say anything about it because she is afraid. 

September 18, 2020 22:02

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2 comments

Joshie Nygaard
19:13 Sep 24, 2020

Hey David, this is a great start to an intriguing story. The idea is absolutely fascinating, and I would love to get more details. I agree with Cate, though. The execution left a few things to be desired. While dialogue is important, it didn't really feel like it helped the story progress. I didn't get to know any of the characters or their personalities through it. Be sure to watch for grammar and punctuation. I found myself scratching my head wondering why she was scared to talk to the police. Why didn't she call the police when she wi...

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Shut Down
22:25 Sep 23, 2020

Hey! I read your story and a few thoughts jumped out at me. First off, you have a number of stylistic problems. About 85% of your story is dialogue (which is a problem in and of itself given there's little actual action, especially in the first half), but you very rarely attach dialogue tags. It leaves readers confused and unsure of who is speaking almost in almost every single line of dialogue. On top of that, you have nothing stylistically to indicate when we enter Nancy's thoughts, making the sudden switch from third person central to ...

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