The Ghost She Loved The Most

By Guadalupe Palma

   She used to think sunsets were the greatest thing ever, until She met him. And not to be cliché about It or anything. The only love she had was for the sunsets as she thought it was gods masterpiece. But he came along and changed her life forever. A lonely girl who was just 19 and never learned how to live. But she once found love; it was disguised as a man with an angel smile but with a fist flaming fire. Tall man with brown dreamy eyes that can hypnotize anyone. An old soul with a broken smile and a torn heart but with a bandaid called hope. He was just like her coffee. Light and sweet. He was different from the rest. He was only 21. Whenever they were together an instant connection would immediately touch their souls and it would feel like home. Their love was like too good to be true. It was like a dream come true. Two best friends, two lovers crazy for each other; two soulmates. It felt so right. Where intimacy was more than just making love. It was undressing their hearts and being nothing but their selves without any judgement. Sharing their secrets, their pillow and their cold feet. It was like having a reunion from another life. He made her want to enjoy her life again. As time passed by, their love grew and so did their dream of being together forever. The more they were together, the more they were falling for one another. One afternoon as they both admired sunset together, he decided to give her a little piece of his heart. A rose bracelet that he has kept for years. Waiting for his true love to come. “This is it” he said. As he handed over the bracelet to his lover. “I’ve been waiting for a long time to give this to the right person. But I know you’re the one.” He said as his beautiful brown eyes started to shine and a tear came out of his left eye and smiled. That’s when she realized she loved him mentally, physically and spiritually. She Trusted him without a doubt. But was it true? Could it be? 

Silly girl. Little did she know. One Sunday morning, everything changed. She didn’t recognize him anymore. The spark was gone. Her biggest fear was happening right in front of her eyes. He slowly became the monster she tried to run away from with all her fears as his strength. The man who once promised her the moon and the stars started to slowly give up on her. Until one day, he told her “I’m sorry, I just don’t love you anymore.” As he was speaking to her heart instantly was ripped out of her chest. She felt the weight on her shoulders. Her man, her world her everything was long gone. This man left her questioning so much about herself. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t eat. She tried to tell herself it was going to be okay. Even when she had him as a friend. But what a foul. She lost herself as he started a romance with someone related to her. How ironic? I mean he knew about the fools who hurt her. But he grabbed that knife without a doubt in a heartbeat and stabbed her. It’s insane about all the effort you can put into someone and it still wouldn’t be enough. You can invest so much time into someone so that at the end they can leave. Especially when you put so much trust into someone so that they can destroy you in a second. The betrayal was what hurt the most. As she remembered about the pain his ex lovers would make him go through. About how many people have walked away without no hesitation. She would cry whenever she remembered how he once said “I couldn’t face a life without your light. My heart aches whenever I imagine you with someone else.” Her soul was destroyed. How can someone damage someone else the same way that once destroyed them? His lies, his fake promises, his actions led her to a dark and empty heart. She closed her eyes to it because she wanted to work so bad. “I wanted him.” She said with her face covered in tears. He brought in the insecurities she’s never had before. “How can he be so cruel?” She asks herself every night ever since he left. His ghost hunts her wherever she goes. The reason why she can’t listen to the same songs she used to. The things that made her happy are now the cause of a bad memory. The places she once found peace are now the destruction of her heart. Everything around her reminds her of him. She can’t love the same anymore. She can’t trust no one, not even herself. She has lost faith in the things she once loved. Her promises are now meaningless. She isolates herself and creates a huge bubble so no one can hurt her again. She became victimized by her own pain she did everything to forget his name but at the same time miss him even more. But drinking and smoking wouldn’t make her feel the same way he made her feel. Her house is where his ghost embodies her. Her room is full of memories. Her bed is where all his fake love are now laying. She tries to escape but it looks like whatever she does or wherever she goes she can’t escape her past because he’s there. He’s always there. Her past hunts her and it’s killing her slow. Something always brings her back to him and it never takes too long as her head constantly battles with her heart. This traumatic event has left her dead on the inside but gone on the outside. She tries real hard but she can’t forget. There are some nights where she lays in bed with her broken heart and burst into tears with the void inside of her that burns her soul with sorrow and disappointment that even crying can’t seem to help. As she remembers the man who brown and dreamy eyes. Her soulmate who wasn’t meant to be. He walked away with all of her secrets, her strengths, her weaknesses, her dreams, and her heart. Because just like that rose bracelet he slipped right off her hands. His love for her died without a reason. Her eyes became accustomed to him only and today they cry because his presence dissolved between hate, resentment and despair. But this isn’t a fairytale, and not everyone gets what they want. And even when she doesn’t admit it. She still wishes he came back. As she still prays for him with her torn soul and her eyes covered in tears. The man with dreamy eyes walked away with everything that belonged to her. “He treated me the same way I treat my cigarettes.” She says with tears coming out of her eyes. “He used me and threw me away.” And that old soul, never came back home. But the ghost she loves the Most still lingers all around her.