Date Night

The stench of rot in the alley way, the cloying coppery smell of blood, and the harsh sting of cement still made themselves known despite the pain that I knew would claim my life. Paralysis suffocated me, and instead of fear I felt only rage. She was just out of my reach, she was dying because of what I did, and I couldn’t do anything for her now. I couldn’t even beg for forgiveness, not that I deserved it. Cold, stillness, and calm creeped into my body and brought numbness, sleepiness, and darkness. My life was over, that realization finally brought some fear, but it wasn’t enough to halt the process. As the darkness closed in on me, my last thought was ‘What would be next?’

—

I have never been a morning person, thoughts distorted, my mind still lost in a world of concepts and half remembered actions. But there was a sound that kept repeating, knocking? Was that a doorbell? Why is it so cold? Did I leave a window open? Where are the blankets? My eyes opened slowly to see green, and the light of morning creeping through a chill. The light was just beginning to warm the world, a world that was sharp and fragile, so I knew it had to be very early. Did I fall asleep outside? No, we were downtown last night at that new Tapas place. As I remembered her smiling face looking at me a smile began to form on my face, but it was almost immediately removed by the chattering of my teeth and that damn doorbell. I needed to get up.

Struggling to my feet on the uncomfortable ground and looking around I realized I knew exactly where I was. This was our backyard. Near the large maple at the corner of the yard. There was the knocking again, why didn’t she answer? I gingerly made my way to the back door feeling the dew collect on my bare feet, and the morning chill on everything else. No wonder I was freezing! I tried opening the door, but it was locked. I needed to get inside to answer the door, I definitely couldn’t go around naked and ask the rude person what they wanted. Come on, wake up! Oh right! There was the spare key under the flower pot on the back porch. I went over, picked it up and got inside, now for something to cover myself up. A bathrobe will have to be it, I raced into the bathroom, but didn’t see my bathrobe, so I grabbed hers and threw it on as I made my way to the front door. Before reaching it there was another knock and ringing of the doorbell. Before opening the door I took a deep breath and tried to clear my mind, then opened the door.

I don’t know what I was expecting with the constant knocking and doorbell ringing, maybe a neighbor asking for flour? Ha, right! The friendly face I was trying to cultivate died before being fully formed as I took in the hard eyed, too formal expression of the woman, and the uncomfortable expression of the man. The adrenaline hit about at the same time as realization. This had to be why she didn’t answer, why she wasn’t here already. Then the adrenaline kicked my slow brain into high gear and the blood drained from my face, darkness began to swallow my front porch as I remembered.

The man with the sympathetic eyes rushed out, “Whoa there, take a breath.” He took a step forward, and brought up a hand, but that made me take a step back.

The hard eyes of the woman seemed to lose a bit of their edge, “I’m Detective Jackson, and this my partner Detective Connors. We need to talk with you.” She looked a bit lost for a second before rallying, “Is this the residence of Nicole Adams?”

Deep breaths, focus, stay conscious, “Yes she lives here.”

I couldn’t help but notice the wince from Connors, the expression sent a spike of pain through my heart, and they became blurry. But, I couldn’t go down that path now, I couldn’t. “What is this about?”

Jackson suddenly didn’t seem to be interested in the conversation any longer, Connors took over, “I’m very sorry, but we have some bad news. Nicole was found late last night in an alley way. We need to … …” There were other words, but I don’t remember them. It wasn’t a nightmare, the pain was real and the ghost of it came back to me.

The next thing I clearly remember is looking across the kitchen table at them. When they thought I might be able to answer questions Jackson asked, “Can you tell us where you were last night?”

I ignored my emotions and replied with no inflection, “I was with Nicole last night. We went to a Tapas restaurant on Broadway. It was date night, something that we want to keep up even after our wedding next month. She liked the restaurant, but wasn’t happy about my irregular work. We fought. I left a large tip because of that, but we left after that.”

I saw some sympathy in their eyes, but they weren’t done yet. Jackson pressed, “And how did Miss Adams get to that alley way?”

I couldn’t think of a lie, but they didn’t need to know the whole truth, so I said, “Nikki was mad and left before I paid, by the time I finished I had to run to try and catch up. But, I don’t know where she thought she was going. I don’t know what alley way you’re talking about.” Who can keep track of alley ways? “But to be honest, detective, I have no idea how I made it home. I think I blacked out after leaving.” Death is like blacking out, right?

And now for the question I didn’t really want to ask, “Can you tell me what happened to her?”

Connors opened his mouth, but Jackson gave him a look and he closed it. Turning back to me a tired and exasperated Jackson sighed out, “Look, we don’t know what happened, but we will let you know when we know more.” Handing me her card she added, “Please contact us if there is anything else you can remember.”

When they were gone I made my way back out to where I woke up and let the emotions that were boiling inside me loose. Falling to the ground I couldn’t tell if the shaking of my body was caused more by the wet and cold or my sobbing. I have no idea how long I stayed there trying to accept that this is my life now.

I was brought out of my fugue state by a memory of a night spent camping in our yard with Nikki just a month ago. We were in this very spot and she said that it was the Solstice or something. I was never very superstitious so I just smiled as I watched her tie some sticks together and burned them. I tried to make my own flower crown, but I wasn’t good at it. We exchanged them anyway and held each other that night, falling asleep in each other's arms.

Could it be some kind of spell or something? Was this a one time thing? Would I once again die when I found retribution? It doesn’t matter. I will find out who did this to her and make them pay.

What I didn’t say was that I had a job that night. Trying to do that and date night… that’s what Nikki was pissed about. It was a courier job that I got from Josh, and it paid well which meant that I felt I could pay for our dinner out, I thought it was worth it.

It wasn’t the first time I’d carried a package for my friend. The pickup and drop off locations were always suspicious, but I really didn’t want to know. I was familiar with these types of places from my childhood, and I knew not to ask questions. But after the visit from the Detectives, I needed answers. I needed to talk with Josh.

First thing is first: clothes. I put the spare key back and got changed. We took the train into town last night, but I didn’t have time now. I'd have to hope my beat up used car would make it over to Josh’s place. The drive went well, except for the two stall outs. But that was pretty good for the beater.

Josh was a carefree stoner that I met years ago. He liked to hang out once in a while, and I enjoyed just chilling out from time to time. He also had connections and money. I never asked where he got the money, I had just assumed it was from his family. But maybe it was from drugs? I didn’t judge in either case. The first time I took a courier job was after a hang session where I had mentioned my lack of a steady job and Nikki’s birthday. I probably could have figured out a different way, but the job was easy money.

Afterward the jobs came a couple times a month, always quick and simple. I knew it was probably illegal, the packages could have anything in them, but the temptation of easy money was too much for me. About three months ago I asked for a few more opportunities and Josh just shrugged and smiled. A week later I started getting them more often, and the money rolled in. It scared Nikki. It should have scared me.

The door was never locked when I came over. I strode right into the house and heard the TV going in the living room. I walked in and saw a mostly clean room with chaos centered around the couch. There were pizza boxes, take out containers, and other random detritus spilling off of the coffee table and Josh passed out on the couch with random cans, pillows and blankets. I used the remote to turn off the TV. This was enough to get Josh moving. Blearily he looked up at me and squinted his bloodshot blue eyes until finally some recognition dawned. In a voice badly in need of water he said, “Whoa, were we supposed to hang out? You look pissed, what’s wrong dude?”

I hadn’t realized that I was letting it show, but I couldn’t deny the truth, so I leaned into it and leveled my gaze at him, “Nikki is dead Josh.”

The look of shock on his face gave me a little joy, but as he sat up throwing off the blanket and revealing boxers and a food stained shirt, I realized more. His shock meant he didn’t know, I didn’t need to come down on him. Clarity came to his eyes, and he took a second to think. He looked up at me and in a serious voice that I had never heard from him, he ordered, “Tell me what happened.”

I couldn’t sit so while pacing in front of the coffee table, I recounted my night. After leaving the Tapas place I caught up to Nikki and convinced her to come with me to the drop off. Most of the way there we were pushed into an alleyway. I was about to run, but they had a gun pointed at her back. There were two of them, ski masks, generic clothes, one with a gun, the other a knife. They didn’t say anything, but they were focused on me. The knife walked over to me, I held my hands up and tried to convince them that Nikki could go. He stabbed me, and I couldn’t help my reactions, so I fought back. The gun wielder didn’t hesitate, he shot her once while standing, and another after she hit the ground. I told Josh that this is when I blacked out, and probably lost the package I was carrying. I also told him an edited version of my morning. There’s no way that he’d believe I came back from the dead.

I wound down, the retelling was hard on me, and Josh hadn’t said anything else. It was a couple minutes before the quiet was broken, “Last night’s package was very high value. And what you describe is not some botched mugging, it was deliberate, the masks were likely for bystanders, not you. In fact I’m surprised they left you alive.” After picking up his phone and unlocking it he asked, “Did they take your phone?”

I was confused, that seemed like a non sequitor, so I stuck with the truth, “I don’t know for sure, but I didn’t have it when I woke up.” Or anything else…

He seemed happy with that answer and after poking at his phone he held up a map with a red pin pointing to a building downtown. WHAT THE FUCK! That sentiment was important enough to voice, “WHAT THE FUCK! You’re tracking my phone?”

He looked a little confused before replying, “Well yeah. We’re talking thousands of dollars a package dude.” Of course now I was upset for a much more greedy reason. But I shook my head, I needed to focus. We may know where they went.

While I was processing all of that Josh got up and hurried to his bedroom. A couple minutes later he came out dressed and with a nod of his head said, “Come on, we need to get over there.”

Before jumping into his much nicer sedan I went to my car and grabbed a set of knuckles and a folding knife. I’ve never really been a warrior, but I learned some hard lessons in my life, and I didn’t want to face those guys again without being armed. If I were serious about Josh I probably should have armed up before waltzing into his place. I blame my grief.

Once in the car it felt like a scene in an action movie where the main characters have to take an elevator to the top floor completely ruining the pacing. The music didn’t help, and Josh eventually realized and turned it off. That wasn’t really much of an improvement, but into that silence Josh said, “I remember when you and Nikki met. You may not realize it, but you changed after that. I saw it first hand, and it was like you came alive. I know there isn’t anything that can really be done to bring her back, but I’ll be with you for whatever you want to do. I am sorry for what happened, and for what it is worth, I’m sorry for my part in it. I hope you at least believe that.”

As it turned out, physical pain wasn’t the only thing that could paralyze me. Maybe it was the fact that I had never seen Josh so serious for so long, or maybe it was just his words. But, I think a different type of pain was what did most of the work. Slowly I came back to myself, and when I could say anything past the lump in my throat I rasped, “I believe you.”

He accepted that with a nod, and the rest of the drive we prepared ourselves for what was to come. The location was an apartment building with some shop fronts on the ground floor. We found an entrance, and followed someone in. It looked like the tracker was able to tell us the location, but not the floor. We started on the second floor and tracked it to apartment 218.

With no fear Josh just walked up and knocked, then rang the doorbell. I stepped to the side of the door out of view from the peep hole and let Josh take the lead. When the door opened Josh put on his most charming smile and said, “Hello there, I’m sorry to bother you. I came by because I am trying to find my friend’s phone.” There was a pause and his smile faltered, “What are you doing? Wait! Don’t shoot!”

I’d heard enough, Josh seemed frozen, but not me, I stepped into the doorway and saw both of them. No masks, I knew them, and they knew me. They were shocked by my appearance, and I was pissed. I knew I had a gun pointed at me, but I took a step forward anyway. When the shot rang out I barely heard it, I barely felt it. This pain could no longer stop me. I smashed the knuckles into his shocked face, and with the knife in my off hand I stabbed quickly into his gut twice. The other one bolted back into the apartment. I wanted to keep stabbing, but my body wouldn’t cooperate, the darkness was closing in once again, and I couldn’t stop it. I fell backward and saw Josh gaping at me with some blood spattered on his clothes. I mustered up enough breath to say, “Run.” The guy with a gun was on his knees, but he still had hold of his weapon. I saw Josh flee before the darkness claimed me.

—

This time there wasn’t knocking on my door as I woke up, but I was still freezing and naked. It was dawn, and I was again looking around at my back yard with the morning light slowly warming the chilled air. I made my way to the spare key and went into the house. With time to think, barging into the residence of known murderers was not the best plan. But now I knew where they lived, and what they looked like. I could bide my time, make a better plan, find them and whoever they work for and make them pay. No matter what they tried to do to stop me I knew I would be back.