Changing Times

It's the end of summer vacation, but this year was far from it. The coronavirus pandemic has changed everything about our lives, and I couldn't wait to go back to how it used to be. I hate change. Change messes things up. I was perfectly fine with the way things were before, but now everything is different. Not to mention their strict, overprotective parenting-leaving me with nothing to do except stay in my room. What did they expect? A fun time while we all stayed inside in "quarantine". The word quarantine just makes it sound so much more real.

Every day was the same. Wake up, get ready, watch television, eat in between, and sleep. It was nice in the beginning, without the constant stress of school and everything else, but it is the worst now. I hate that the coronavirus changed things, but summer is almost over, and everything is going to be different. I am going to start high school next year, so it would've been new to begin with. I stared at the ceiling, hoping everything will go back to normal soon.

Mom came in a couple of hours later, asking me to come down for dinner. We all sat around the table, watching as my parents acted as if we had so much to talk about. Except it was summer. Except it was quarantine. Mom kept asking how our day was, although we did nothing throughout the day. My younger sisters played with their food as usual, while my older brother stayed on his phone. I was in the middle, moving food around the plate as if it would disappear.

Mom tried to act as if everything was normal, but it wasn't. Dad barely ate or slept ever since he lost his job. I had no idea what to say or how to act. But even through all of these hardships, I still felt glad. The pandemic has changed so much for us, but I realized that what I feared more was going back to normal. Maybe Dad would get another job. Maybe our family could be fixed if the world finally stopped going against us. 

After dinner, I went back to my room to sleep. It was pretty late when we were eating dinner, but I had nothing else to do but sleep. I thought about life. The coronavirus did change everyone. I hoped Dad would just come back today. We could all figure it out together. I knew we could. Everything was blowing up in our faces one by one.

A few weeks later, school started. I was so nervous. I wished school would be like how it used to be, but I knew it wouldn't be. I packed my bag and walked to the bus stop. I almost forgot which way to turn since it has been so long. Kids from my school gathered at the bus stop, talking amongst each other. They stood close together and didn’t even wear masks. It took me by surprise when I realized that everything was just as I hoped. My friends hugged me as they saw me in person for the first time in over a year. I thought I would feel the weight lift off of my shoulders, but something was still bothering me. I just couldn’t put my finger on it quite yet. 

High school was new and different. I thought I knew so many people before, but I felt lost in the ocean now. I couldn’t recognize more than half of the students. Butterflies flew around in my stomach while I went to find my locker and put my books away. I got lost twice in the hall. Everyone seemed so much older than me. They looked mature, wearing so much make-up and pretty clothes. I felt like I didn’t belong, wearing an ordinary sweatshirt and leggings. 

When I went to class, my friends were talking with new people as if they had been best friends forever. They tried to include me, but during the pandemic, they were allowed to go out and be with each other, while I was not. They shared stories about people they knew who had gotten the virus and what that had been like for them. The classes themselves were harder than I was used to. The teachers were strict, assigned lots of homework, and went through the lessons quickly. In middle school, the first week was always enjoyable. This year was different; I could tell. 

Lunch was a new horror to face. My friends had moved on with their lives, without me. The cafeteria was huge, with people everywhere. I couldn’t do this. It was too weird. I sat at a table in the corner, trying to make conversation with the two girls next to me. I finished my lunch quickly, walking out, glad to be anywhere but there.

As I got on the bus home, I realized what had been bothering me. I had been wishing so hard for everything to go back to normal, but I wasn’t ready yet. This was all too sudden. I wasn’t prepared for high school. I needed time to get back with my friends. To get used to school. I wanted to ease back into our lifestyle, but it just happened all at once. 

The coronavirus took everyone by surprise. I had managed it as best I could, but going back was just odd. I should be able to go back to how it was. I’ve been living like that for my entire life. But suddenly it felt like the very first day of kindergarten. Nobody knew anybody. The only difference was people knew each other, I had just lost touch with them. I was the one that didn’t know anybody. This feeling scared me. At home, I went straight upstairs to do homework. It took much longer than I ever thought it would. 

The next few weeks of school were better. I was starting to get back into the old rhythm. Dad was offered a small job. The family was starting to get pieced back together. High school was still a completely different story, but I still had some friends and we were going in it together. I still felt left behind when their other friends came or during lunch, but I knew it would get better soon. 

I never thought I would struggle that much after the pandemic. Maybe it had to do with high school. Maybe it had to do with friends moving on. Maybe it was just me. But, if the coronavirus has taught me anything, it is that I can go through change. I can embrace it. Because changing times will always happen, especially when you least expect it to, but they will make you better in ways you never thought.