Our Sickness

It shouldn't have happened to me. I never expected to perish so suddenly. I don't think anyone does, but it still stings. I was in good enough health. I thought I could get past anything that I got. But that's the thing about this sickness. It sneaks up and hits you.

I didn't think I had it. I thought it was something else at first. Before I could worry too much, it hit me. I was completely wiped out. I couldn't think straight or even breathe right. It felt like my life was draining away. I went to the hospital, but it was too late.

I died there, separated from my family and friends. They couldn't see me, afraid they'd grow ill. When they learned I was gone, they wept shamelessly. I saw it all, even when I had died. That's another thing about this sickness, or perhaps life in general.

Both leave you hanging if you go before your time. I couldn't leave this world anymore. Its forces refused to let me pass. Now I'm stuck here, forced to watch the aftermath of my death. That hurts me, even more than my passing. This is my first year as a ghost.

It's not even a full year here. Halloween's coming up soon. I became this way only a few months ago. I remember it clearly, given the circumstances. It was summer's start, in the second week of June. What I've seen since then makes me sick. It shouldn't be this bad.

I thought we could get past this sickness. That'd make my death tolerable, knowing that everything could be normal. But it hasn't been. Things have only gotten worse. This hit us all under our noses. So many are as I am. We're trapped on a cruel, ruined world.

Others gamble with their lives, just like I did. Apparently, I wasn't careful enough. I was too optimistic about this situation. My faith couldn't protect me. I see others walk about without any concerns. They don't know what awaits them, be it on Earth or elsewhere. 

I look out at them. I envy their innocence. I was like them only months ago. Despite all that happened, I had hope for the future. It was my future, free from this madness. But even that was stolen away. I exist with a great many, our lives taken from us suddenly.

I have no future anymore. All I am is a figment of my past self. I'm trapped on this Earth, unable to do anything about it. I have to watch life pass me by. Our kind travel the land, lamenting our fate. I see so many who'll become like us. I doubt that they can be saved.

I can't even get mad at them. No amount of anger will show them the truth. They need to experience it for themselves. Some of them might get sick either way. At least they'll know my pain. It's the pain of too many now. So many are like me, gone before our time.

We had our lives to live, recovering from our chaos. But we can't even have that. All we own is our spirits now. We slip within society, watching the world crumble further. All is beyond our power. We're punished for the faults of society. For some, they are our own.

We can only watch the world fall to illness. Many join our ranks with each day. We are forced into silence. While it hurts me, I can't help but think about this. Is this humanity's punishment? Have we grown too insolent for this world? Will our pride be our downfall?

I'm not sure yet. None of us can, be we alive or not. But it seems like things are growing worse. As winter approaches, there'll be more like us. They'll know our misery, unable to tell any others. That's the cruelest joke of all. To know truth, one must be forced into it.

That's what this sickness does to people. It blindsides them, leaving them vulnerable. Once it strikes, they're at its mercy. I question its perspective sometimes. When it has run its course, what will the world become? Was it really worth the trouble behind it?

I don't think it is. But I can't speak for this sickness or fate itself. The world has been terrorized by plagues before. Humanity managed to recover from them. That's well and good, but it doesn't help me. It doesn't help those who've died already. We're doomed.

We must roam the world, watching it ruin itself again. Halloween is a time for terror and thrills. I'm short on the latter, but know the former well. I see it whenever I pass by many others. We are fearful, dreading this awful illness. We fear for our world's fragile future.

I have none, but so many others do. We inhabit the same world, one torn by sickness, shame and spite. My own being haunts me now. I know others can't sense me, much less see me. Some of them fear the ailment's effects. They dread their coming deaths.

Those are reasonable things to fear. Even they haunted me so long ago. However, I fear for their fate. Some among them will join me this season. We'll spend our Halloween as one, creeping about the world. We'll be bound by our deaths, how needless they were.

Most of this was needless in hindsight. We should have taken this chaos more seriously. So many lives would have been spared. Even my own may have slipped by. I'd be spared this torment. I don't know why it has to be like this. It shouldn't have happened to me.

I wanted to own my past life. I thought I had more time left. Then again, I know the truth behind my negligence. It stole that from me and so many others. That's the worst part of it all. We were punished for our lack of foresight. In a way, so is the rest of the world.

However, we got the worst of it. That sickness drained us completely. We couldn't fight against it until our time was over. Afterwards, we had died, turning us into mere spirits. We didn't know what awaited us then. It sickens us to know the truth behind our fates.

This sickness doesn't care about its path of ruin. It only reaps more souls into our purgatory. We're all trapped in an unforgiving world. The only difference is that we cannot touch it anymore. We wait on the sidelines, suffering away. There's no escape.

This season is grim, even more than possible. My fellow spirits join me, bound by regret. Many of us fill the streets, our forms unseen. We range from the young and old, the rich and poor. No one can escape our fate. It wounds us, adding to the world's rising despair. 

Our world is well on the way to collapse. If this keeps going, spirits will infest every part of it. We will linger on, having inherited mankind's misery. Perhaps we'll leave when the world comes to its senses. I doubt that will come easily, though. Chaos runs freely now.

Humanity can hardly contain and sustain itself. I fear for the world, those who'll enter our ranks. They're coming alongside the changing times. This shouldn't have happened. Humanity shouldn't suffer for the ignorance of some. I guess this was the tipping point.

The world had to answer for its pride someday. It's scarier than any other festive fright. However, it always felt distant. It could be dealt with later. The time for judgment has come. I must accept it in death. I just never expected to die alongside humanity itself.