At 75 Sam Returns to School

As we stood around, my friend Sam opened his birthday cards and presents. Then he stood and thanked all of us for coming to celebrate his 75^th birthday.

“Now I have an announcement,” he said. “I’m going back to school to get my master’s in Theater Arts. If all goes according to plan, I’ll start in the fall [it was then March 2019].”

No one knew quite what to say. We smiled and wished him good luck. I’m sure many felt as shocked as I did. Had I heard him right? At 75 he’s going back to school? To earn a master’s degree, no less.

I’d always known Sam as an intelligent and reasonably stable person. Sure, he’d had a checkerboard career, first working as a security trainer, then as an investment advisor prior to his present job with the Passport Bureau.

Sam had traveled some. He’d fallen in love with Japan during a visit to that country with a local theater company. On an auto trip out West, he’d spent some time in Spokane. He loved the change of scenery and the allure of the mountains. It provided quite a contrast to his home in the upper Midwest. He had also visited Alaska and enjoyed the wildness of the north country.

* * *

I hadn’t seen Sam in several weeks and wondered if he’d discussed his plans with others. No, he’d only recently learned that he might qualify for a new program at his alma mater. With the lower tuition the program afforded and his Social Security and savings, he thought he could afford it. He’d have to give up his year-around job with the Passport Bureau, his apartment in the suburbs, and say goodbye, at least for a while, to a group of close friends and relatives, most of whom were at the party.

Sam admitted that not all the pieces had fallen into place yet, but he felt optimistic that he would gain admission. Then he’d have to figure out the logistics of the move. He didn’t look forward to that part.

While none of us wanted to pop Sam’s balloon by telling him we thought he was nuts, many of us harbored concerns about making such a drastic change at his age.

Sam said going back to school was something he had wanted to do for many years. Now, with the reduced tuition program becoming available, it seemed a door opened. And, considering his age, he felt it was now or never. So, he had applied.

Sam learned of his acceptance in early summer and began planning for the move. He had a yard sale and sold much of his furniture and household items that he felt he wouldn’t need. Being a divorcee for many years, Sam didn’t have a lot of stuff, but he did have files and boxes of stuff from his business days to dispose of.

* * *

Going back to school meant moving to a small city an hour’s drive from where Sam lived and putting relationships such as ours on hold. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. After all, Sam and I and another man had been meeting Saturday mornings for coffee, muffins, and conversation for many years.

We’d grown close and often depended on one other. We’d taken Sam to various appointments and given him rides to and from the airport. He’d reciprocated as good friends do. We’d helped Sam make a couple of moves from one house to another. Our relationship spanned 30 years. We’d celebrated many birthdays together.

It wouldn’t be fair to say we felt betrayed by Sam, but we certainly felt sad at the prospect of being separated. His going back to school would leave a hole in my life and in the lives of others. Sam would be missed

Still, we could see the twinkle in Sam’s eyes when he talked about his plans, and the anxiety when he faced the immensity of his decision. More than once he questioned his sanity, but he kept moving toward his dream. You have to respect a man who will do that. We did our best to encourage him despite our concerns.

Some years ago, when he moved into an apartment, I’d volunteered to store Sam’s canoe. It’s been keeping my kayak company in the backyard. Both boats call out for someone to paddle them, but Sam and I are both beyond our physical prime. I’m sad to say paddling such boats may belong to a  closed chapter of our lives. I have dreams of paddling again someday. But I doubt Sam does. So, like other things in Sam’s interrupted life, the canoe sits idle waiting for his return. Each time I see it, the canoe reminds me of Sam, and I send out a little prayer hoping he is okay and school is going well for him.

Pulling up roots and going back to school at Sam’s age would challenge anyone. I admire him for the courage to dive in and compete with men and women some of whom could be his grandchildren. Having done some graduate work, I can only compare it to drinking out of a firehose. I don’t know about Sam, but at 75 my ability to absorb information is greatly diminished. I can’t imagine trying to keep pace with graduate study and compete with men and women in their twenties.

Finances were a concern for Sam. To go back to school with no job meant living on a tight budget. Still, Sam was undaunted. He submitted his resignation at work with hopes that he could somehow find a way to re-connect to the Bureau in his new location or find other suitable part-time work. His long-term goal: To work in theater management and perhaps to land parts in plays. So far, he hasn’t found any part-time employment and is having to make do with his meager income.

I spoke with Sam the other day. He has a couple of terms under his belt and has adjusted to the pulse of college life. He likes being a student again. However, COVID-19 has thrown him some curves. He discovered that he didn’t have adequate internet service in his apartment so he drives to a parking lot on campus where he can get connected via Wi-Fi.

However, he says, you just can’t do theater online so he’s wondering how that will work out since the students have several plays to produce each term. Acting and adhering to social distancing guidelines present challenges without regard to the audience. Not all characters can interact appropriately from across the stage. Furthermore, Sam wonders, will the thespians wear masks or not? Only limited seating, if any, will be allowed, and it’s unclear if the program can afford the production costs without adequate revenue.

Sam has run into a problem with the administration, too. Trying to get it straightened out while dealing with people working from home presents some challenges. He admits that many jobs can be done from home, but not efficiently. He thinks his problem could be easily resolved if he could go into the Registrar’s Office, explain the problem, and show them the documentation he has.

Sam says using the library during the pandemic entails different procedures. He submits a list of books and articles he needs online, then goes to a parking lot. He then calls the library to say he’s there. A staff member comes out with a bag of the materials he’s requested and he drives by and picks them up. Of course, all that takes time. As with so many things, Sam says, you just have to plan and be patient.

Sam suggested we connect via Zoom in the near future and invite the other guys in our Saturday morning coffee group. That would be fun. I hope we can pull it off before Sam returns to full-time classes this fall. I look forward to learning more about Sam’s experience returning to school as a mature student.