Do Aliens Like Cake?

Expecting to find a typical lecture hall beyond the door to her next class, Leah was disappointed to see a half empty classroom that at capacity wouldn’t accommodate more than twenty students. It was the equivalent of a poorly renovated storage closet or boiler room often depicted in comedy movies featuring delinquent student hijinks. She shrugged and made her way to an empty desk among eight other nondescript college students. Leah stored her bag under her chair and propped her laptop on the tiny desktop, awaiting instruction. The podium at the front of the meager room stood lonely in front of a portable blackboard. The walls were bare, sans any visual aids such as maps and posters. Ten minutes ticked by slower than any ten minutes in her young life before the side door creaked open. Leah anticipated the proverbial eccentric professor wearing a corduroy blazer complete with suede elbow patches, horn rimmed glasses and Einstein-esque hair to emerge. Instead, a young woman, not much older than Leah, stumbled through the threshold awkwardly carrying a large bakery box, barely balancing on her forearms. 

The woman set the box on a portable cart, commonly used to transport audio visual equipment. She opened the box and began haphazardly hacking off slices of its contents with a plastic cake cutter, most likely supplied by the bakery. She reached for the lower shelf on the cart and pulled out a stack of paper napkins, taking the top one and setting the cake knife on it. The woman licked a dollop of stray icing from the side of her hand and brushed it against the other, shaking away any crumbs. Leah glanced around the room hoping she wasn't the only one in attendance highly confused; she was not. 

“Cake anyone? Seriously, there’s more than enough to go around, please come up and help yourselves. I did forget the plates, so we’ll have to make do with these crappy paper napkins.” The woman, who was the assumed instructor, looked rather proud of herself as she grabbed a cake slice for herself and picked at it with her thumb and forefinger. “It’s good, I swear!” 

One by one, each of the nine students, including Leah, did as they were told, and took a slice of the cake from the front of the room. Some were eager to indulge while a few hesitated, but at the very least tasted a bite or two before balling the rest in their napkins. The young woman waited patiently for nearly fifteen minutes while her students ate. She busied herself, shuffling papers and marking pages in a book with sticky notes. Satisfied that everyone had enough of their treat, she politely asked the class to dispose of any trash and return to their seats. She cleared her throat and spoke with conviction, “That will be the only “piece of cake” you’ll experience in my class. So, if you have chosen to be here, assuming this would be an easy “A”, you’re sadly mistaken and are welcome to leave before we get started.” Not one student dared move from their seat. “Very well, let me officially welcome you all to Astrobiology. My name is Professor Sully.” 

Muffled giggles from a few of her students let her know, they were in fact paying attention. She continued, “I am well aware of the similarity in my name with that of a well-known television character famous for investigating the paranormal, including aliens. It is completely coincidental, and might I suggest you all refer to me by my first name; no, it’s not Dana. When our class is in session, you may call me Sandra. In turn, I will refer to you by your first names as soon as I learn them. Please indulge me for the first class or two and state your name when addressing the class.” 

Leah typed “Sandra Sully” into her notes and highlighted it, reminding herself to do an internet deep dive on her rather unique Astrobiology professor; you know, for some additional perspective. She wanted nothing more than to have this class meet her expectations. She was relieved to know it was not going to be a “cake class” after all. She wondered about Sandra; young, fairly attractive, witty and yet teaching the nerdiest, geekiest subject offered at the University. Leah felt her pulse rise at the thought of sharing her theories with someone who would actually understand and more importantly believe her. Sandra opened the book she had been earmarking and began to read. 

“Astrobiology is based on the premise that life is possible beyond the confines of planet Earth. It is a fairly recent discipline, and the more we learn about other planets, the more we can surmise in regard to life forms beyond those found here. However, the studies are based on favorable conditions on other planets conducive to supporting life as we define it. What if other life forms are not reliant on the same conditions necessary for Earth life to thrive? What if life on other planets required conditions that we could never endure?” Sandra paused, hoping for some thoughtful participation. Leah raised her hand. “Yes?”

“My name is Leah, and I too have contemplated this hypothesis. I also believe it is not a possibility but a probability that life exists on other planets. It’s rather ignorant to believe Earth is exclusive. I am curious as to how it can be scientifically determined that life can or cannot exist on planets we only theorize about.” 

Sandra smiled, “Well, Leah, you are certainly in the right class. Not only will we cover the disciplines outlined for Astrobiology, but we will be touching a bit on Xenobiology, or the idea of technology’s potential influence on sustaining life in less-than-optimal conditions. We have an entire semester to theorize, research and conclude if life beyond Earth is, as you put it, probable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Does anyone have anything to add before we continue?” 

One of the seven young men in attendance raised his hand. Leah tried to get a read on him, but he had his back toward her making it difficult to decipher facial expressions and body language. She did notice his perfect posture, quite contrary to the other students slumped either forward over their desks or leaning back so far, Leah deduced a chiropractor in their near future. He spoke clearly and with conviction, turning back only for a split second as he referenced Leah’s previous comment. Leah thought he looked a bit like Clark Kent, Superman's alter ego. The irony made her smile; was this boy from another planet, here to protect humanity from itself? Probably not. 

“My name is Shane.” he began, “Why is this class an elective? I mean, it’s my understanding that we will be studying biosignatures, as well as geobiology in order to determine possible habitable environments. Wouldn’t this be a necessary study for other fields of environmental and atmospheric sciences? Do people not understand that this is so much more than a group of geeks speculating alien life forms?” 

Sandra placed the book she was holding on the cart in front of her and wheeled a metal stool out from behind the podium. Leah noticed the look of satisfaction on her face, smiling like a proud parent of a little leaguer celebrating their first hit. “Shane, wow! I have been teaching this class for the past two years and you are the first person to defend its validity, so thank you for that. My feelings mimic yours, there is so much more to the discipline of Astrobiology than watching reruns of Roswell once a week for an hour. Most students see the word elective and sign up for that easy, piece of cake A. Did you all know that my class minimum is only five students? There are nine of you here and in two years this is the second largest class I have ever taught. Crazy, right?”  Sandra took a breath allowing her students to reply. Some simply shook their heads while at least three, including Leah and Shane were a bit more vocal with their disbelief. “The idea of studying aliens along with my unfortunate last name have greatly contributed to Astrobiology becoming the brunt of more jokes than I can repeat. The truth is, our field of study is imperative to sustaining life on our own planet, never mind determining if life exists on others. So, all that aside, let me propose my thoughts on our endgame by giving you your very first assignment. I would like all of you to present a list of at least three thoughtful, intelligent and relevant questions to explore throughout the duration of our time together. We will compile a master list and go from there. Any questions?” 

The only other girl besides Leah raised her hand. She was pretty, well dressed and Leah couldn’t help feeling a little envious. “My name is Veronica; most people call me Ronni. At first, I thought this was not going to be the class for me, but I was too embarrassed to leave after the whole cake party thing. I mean, it’s not like I could have snuck out unnoticed in a room with only ten people.” The others chuckled. Their positive reaction eased Ronni’s apprehension and fueled her to continue. “My friends told me not to take this class, that I would be teased, but I was curious, and I will admit, I figured it would be a piece of cake. Sitting here, listening to all of you has changed my mind. I want to know more, but what if I can’t come up with three good questions?” 

Sandra stood, “Veronica, thank you for staying even after finding out this class isn’t all carbs and sugar. Correct me if I’m mistaken, but your concerns are that your classmates have a preliminary understanding of Astrobiology, and you didn’t think it was a requirement. You’re feeling behind and it’s only the first day.” 

“Exactly.” Veronica willingly admitted.

“Might I suggest a study buddy?” Sandra offered. All seven boys raised their hands, volunteering for the opportunity. “Veronica, it’s completely your call but may I recommend you and Leah get to know one another. I think the two of you working together will be mutually beneficial. 

Veronica turned toward Leah, “Sorry guys, but I’m starting this class off right; by taking the teachers advice. Leah, do you have time after class to grab a coffee?” 

 Leah nodded. “I do.” 

Sandra Sully surveyed her class feeling more hopeful than ever, allowing herself the indulgences of pride and confidence. This group will be different, they have potential. Maybe, just maybe for the first time in two years, she will get through the entire curriculum without having to resort to those Roswell reruns in order to fill an hour every week for the next nine weeks. Not only was there at least one student with a genuine interest and healthy curiosity, but two, maybe three. Sandra felt positively giddy as she dismissed her class and watched Leah and Veronica invite Shane to join them for coffee. This could be the beginning of her very first research team; she could apply for grant funding and secure a lab. Oh, would this be the beginning of her life’s work, would she finally have the means to prove what she had known for years? Were these few students worthy of her trust and could she share her irrefutable evidence that… Sandra whispered to herself, “we’re not alone.”