The Senior Center

Libby sighed as she parked at her grandmother’s house.

“I’m a horrible human being,” she muttered to herself. “I can’t believe it’s been six weeks since I visited Gran…”

She snapped out of her guilty reverie as someone rapped on the car window and called her name. It was Annie, her grandmother’s friend of many years.

“Annie! I was miles away, sorry.”

Annie eyed her in concern. She was a petite lady with snow white hair and piercing blue eyes.

“I’m here to see your grandmother. I’ve been trying to visit most days.”

“I feel terrible. I’ve been meaning to come, but between school and work, it’s been crazy.”

“Don’t worry, hon. Your grandmother understands. I’ve got nothing but time on my hands these days. I enjoy visiting her, but I’m worried. Rosa doesn’t want to do anything but mope around which is not like her. I think she’s pining for your granddad, even though she did nothing but complain about him when he was alive. When you’ve squabbled with someone every day for fifty years, it must be hard to be on your own. I’ve tried to coax her to go out, but she’s not having any of it.”

Libby gave a wry grin.

“She has a mind of her own. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Good girl,” Annie said, patting Libby’s arm with a bony, blue-veined hand.

Libby gazed around as Annie rang the doorbell, noticing how neglected her grandmother’s once immaculate garden was.

"I'm going to bring my son Luke over here next weekend to weed and cut grass. He needs to do something besides video games."

Annie nodded.

"It's getting to be a bit much for Rosa, not that she'll admit it."

They waited for several minutes. Finally Annie sighed with exasperation and fished in her purse for a key.

“Time for direct action,” she said, pushing open the door. “Rosa, it’s me, Annie. You’ve got a special visitor today.”

The house smelled fusty. The television was blaring in the corner of the living room. Two busty women with tight clothes and gaudy make up were yelling at each other on the screen, while a skinny man with a scrawny goatee smirked between them.

“No wonder she couldn’t hear the doorbell,” Annie muttered. She grabbed the remote and snapped the television off. “Rosa. Look who’s here.”

“Hello, Gran,” Libby said, hugging her grandmother and trying not to recoil at the smell of stale sweat. “Why are you still in your nightgown? Don’t you feel well? I was going to invite you and Annie out to lunch.”

Rosa blinked as Annie yanked open the curtains, flooding the room with sunshine.

“Hello, Libby, pet. What a nice surprise. I’m fine. Just doesn’t seem like much point in getting dressed to watch television.”

“Your brain’s going to turn to mush watching that rubbish,” said Annie. “You heard Libby. Go and get in that shower and get dressed. It’ll be a treat to go out for lunch.”

Rosa slowly levered herself out of her chair. “Make Libby a cup of tea while I get ready. You might as well do something useful.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Annie said, winking at Libby as she headed for the kitchen.

“She is so bossy,” Rosa said. “I don’t know why I put up with it.”

Libby smothered a grin as her grandmother disappeared in the direction of her bedroom.

“Do you two always squabble like this?” she said as Annie returned with mugs of tea.

Annie chuckled.

“She needs something to keep her circulation going,” she said. “Especially now that she doesn’t have your grandfather to henpeck. Ah, here she comes.”

“You look nice, Gran,” said Libby as Rosa appeared, smelling of cologne and wearing a violently patterned floral dress.

“I’m getting fat,” Rosa said. “This frumpy old thing is the only dress I’ve got that still fits.”

“Makes you look like a walking couch, but as long as it’s comfortable,” Annie said, eyeing her.

“Ladies, ladies,” Libby said, hastily shepherding them both towards the door. “Where would you like to eat?”

Several more moments of bickering ensued before Libby intervened. Making an executive decision, she decided on a local farm-to-table restaurant in the area.

“This is nice,” Annie said, approvingly gazing around at the rustic décor while Rosa peered at the menu.

“Libby, what on earth’s a kerfuffle?”

“What? Oh, Gran, a falafel. It’s a Middle Eastern version of a sandwich. It’s good.”

Rosa sniffed.

“Hmm. Not sure about that foreign food. Wait, here’s a roast beef sandwich. That might be safe.”

“What would you like, Annie?” said Libby.

“I’ll do a BBQ pork butt sandwich,” said Annie. “And no wisecracks from you about pork butts, ma’am.”

To Libby’s relief, the two old ladies cackled with laughter. She persuaded them both to indulge in a glass of wine and ended up ordering the bottle, which might have explained their levity. She sat back with enjoyment as they spent the rest of the meal reminiscing about husbands, children and various escapades which made Libby raise her brows.

“Let’s order dessert,” she said. "I have a proposal for you.”

Their interest piqued, Annie and Rosa looked at her expectantly as they finished their tiramisu. Libby cleared her throat.

“I thought you might like to check out the local senior center. They have all kinds of activities and a nice gym. We could go there this afternoon, and you can look around.”

Annie and Rosa looked at each other. Annie shrugged.

“Why not? We’d be with a bunch of old people, but it would be better than staring at that stupid television all day.”

“Are you incinerating that I spend too much time watching television?” Rosa said, bristling.

“Whoa,” Libby said. “You did say you’ve gained weight, Gran. Maybe you could get some new clothes if you get in better shape. Check with your doctor first, though.”

Rosa sighed.

“Dr. Fisher’s been bugging me for months to get some exercise. At least it would get her off my back. And then you wouldn’t be able to say that I look like a sofa in this dress.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Rosa,” said Annie. “Tell you what. If you sign up, I’ll sign up.”

“You’ll be exercise buddies,” said Libby. “Half the battle is having company to exercise with.”

“There’s just one condition,” Rosa said.

“What’s that?” said Libby.

“I’m not wearing one of those leopard suit things. No way, no how.”

Libby stared, puzzled.

“Leopard…oh, you mean a leotard,” she said. “No problem. You can wear whatever is comfortable.”

Rosa looked relieved. She swigged the last of her wine.

“Alright. Let’s strike while the iron’s willing or whatever before I change my mind.”

She pushed back her chair and stood up.

“Come on, Annie. That Senior Center doesn’t know what’s about to hit them.”

“Thelma and Louise! That’s us,” Annie said, giggling, as they headed for the car.

“No, silly, they went off a cliff,” said Rosa. “I’d rather be a Bond girl.”

“No one warned me how much of a handful you seniors can be,” Libby said, shaking with laughter as she pulled out of the parking lot.