Pompeii

I glanced up as I heard the faint clanking of my plates knocking against each other. That was strange. Why were they doing that? A horse cart passed by my house suddenly. Ah, of course. I shook my head. I didn’t know why I was worrying about something so stupid. I had bigger things to worry about. Calix.

As if the Gods had read my mind, I saw him pass by my window at that moment. My heart raced just from catching a glimpse of him. A man truly worthy of his name. I couldn’t even count how many times I had visited Venus’ temple to beg for her help. What would I have to give to make him look my way?

I had loved him for so long now. Even longer than most of the people in the city. Even when he was only a meek and passable young boy I had loved him. The things I loved most were the things that had never changed about him in all this time. I loved his laugh and his smile. The warmth and sincerity in them radiated out from somewhere within him. They brought happiness to me, even on my darkest days.

I sighed deeply. I loved him so much, but I knew he would never feel the same for me. He had dozens of suitors throwing themselves at his feet. The most beautiful women of Pompeii, the strongest and most intelligent men. Families that dripped of wealth and luxury. Many already vowing to shower him in ambrosia and gold if he would only choose them. How could I possibly compare?

My family did not live in poverty, but we had no great wealth.  Wealth might not have been too much of a problem if I had been remarkable in some way, but I wasn’t. Everything about me was horribly average. I had no one thing that stood out to make me stand above the rest in some way. I was the kind of person that blended easily with the crowd and was forgotten as soon as I was out of sight. I knew this and had accepted it long ago. Still, my heart ached knowing some day soon he would give himself to another. To be forgotten by most was an inconvenience at best, to be forgotten by him was a tragedy.

My stomach hurt badly as I thought about it. I rushed outside to get some fresh air. The streets were busy with the rush of mid-day activity. It was too loud, I needed some silence and peace. I started to walk to the edge of the city. As I walked further from the center of town, it became more silent. I began to see less and less people. Eventually, I reached an area of the city where I only passed the occasional merchant or child playing in the street. I took a deep breath. The air felt lighter here.

I took the chance to look around at the scenery. It was an older area of the city. Bits of the old buildings crumbled off and made piles of rubble against their walls, the streets were uneven and overgrown, but the view was beautiful. Vesuvius towered not too far away, mighty and proud. I glanced up at it. The sky seemed dark. Was there more smoke than usual? I scoffed and shook my head. If only that were the reason. 

Calix’s face came to my mind again. How I longed to hold him in my arms, to know he was mine. Even if it was just for one day. I feared that day would never come. The rumors had started about a month ago. That he had someone he loved, that he was planning to confess soon. At first, I tried to deny them. I tried to say it was nothing but the gossip of old women in the marketplace, but reality dealt a horrible blow to what hope I had left.

Last week, I heard him talking with a merchant in the market. He was bargaining for some livestock. Calix is no farmer, so the merchant, naturally, inquired his purpose for them. I heard him say clearly that they were “an offering for my beloved.” My world collapsed that day. Apollo seemed to abandon me. All my days were dark now, and I only saw darker ones ahead. 

At the edge of the town was a humble temple to Venus. I felt like I had been coming here more and more recently. He would confess to his beloved soon, I could sense it. All seemed hopeless now. I felt this was my last chance. I walked towards the temple, defeated.

The center of the city had a grand temple devoted to Venus, but I preferred this smaller one. I somehow felt that she could hear me better if I were alone, without other offerings competing with mine. Maybe that was why my prayers were never answered, maybe I had been wrong the whole time. It didn’t matter anymore. 

I knelt down before the small statue of Venus and placed my offering in front of her. The last of my money for the week. It wasn’t much, but I would go hungry without it. I didn’t care, I already felt dead inside. What were a few days of hunger compared to that? The air in the temple felt peaceful. Everyone was in the market mid-day, so I doubted anyone would come now. I took a deep breath and bowed before her.

“Most beautiful and merciful Venus, I come again to ask for your help,” I started. “I fear my prayers to you have gone unanswered and my time to pray has all but run out. I have heard Calix has a lover and intends to confess to them soon. He has even prepared a great offering for them. I don’t know what to do. So many times I have come here to confess my love for him, so many times I have come here to beg for your help in winning his heart. I feel this may be my last chance. So, Venus, I beg you again, help me to win Calix’s heart. Whoever this lover is, let him turn away from them to look at me, just once. Give me one chance to love him, even if it is only for a day.”

“Why have only a day?” I heard a deep voice murmur behind me.

I gasped and whipped around quickly. Calix was standing in the doorway, smiling at me. My face reddened, I felt too weak to stand.

“Calix.”

I wanted to say more, I wanted to say so much to him, but my words froze inside of me. He stared at me as if waiting for something. After a moment he frowned.

“How can you speak of me so passionately to Venus, yet remain silent when I am in front of you?” He grumbled, looking at the ground.

I still couldn’t make the words come from my mouth. Why was he here? I had just seen him in town. He had no business this way. As if reading my mind he looked at me again and smiled. He drew closer and extended his hand towards me. I stared at it a moment before reaching out timidly and taking it. He helped to pull me to my feet, then pulled me close to him. He laughed at the shock on my face.

“Beauty and strength fade from all but Gods, and I am but a man,” he said softly. “One who loves me only as I am now will stop loving me just as quickly. Real love appears when you have nothing. When I was a pathetic boy with nothing but the head on his shoulders, I saw you smile at me as warmly as you do now. I know you will continue to do so long after I am a decrepit old man. My offering was for you, my love is only for you. Please, will you accept them both? Have me not for a day, but for a lifetime.”

My heart raced in my chest. I could barely believe what I was hearing. Calix loved me? He wanted to remain with me? For a lifetime? Joy filled my body in a way I never knew possible. I felt as if the Gods were finally smiling upon me. 

Suddenly, a loud sound, like the roar of a thousand thunderstorms, filled the air. The ground began to shake violently.