Noiseless

5. 4. 3. 2. 1. . . .

My raindrop, the one I had spoken to and ranted at for the past ten minutes slid faster than all the others as if it were trying to run away from me. It crossed the imaginary finish line I had created in my mind. It was covered in brightly colored balloons and confetti cannons which exploded once the raindrop crossed it. But much to my dismay, my raindrop, just like all the other 'my' raindrops didn't stop.

As though my earlier rant had filled it with momentum and drive , my raindrop slid at an alarming rate down the window pane and all the way out of view. By now, it had probably managed to blend its way into the swarm of raindrops sliding down the house. I couldn't blame it for wanting to leave too, heck if I had the chance I would have left a long time ago but, I can't. My mom needed me, she wouldn't be able to live without me. I knew that for a fact.

It had been raining all week. The town weather girl was probably tired of announcing that we were going to have another month of rain showers similar to this but, what could she do about it, it was what it was, just another rainy, icky November. Obviously everyone was tired of it but, I on the other hand preferred it to the punishing summer sunshine. I never tanned so, there was no point. I just turned red all over and stood out like a sore thumb all the more.

Everyone here made it their business to know everyone there and well, much as that was a good thing in some communities, I'd prefer to be left alone. completely and utterly alone. I woke up six hours ago and In such a short amount of time, I have had four naps and eaten one entire BLT. Mom left off for work saying there was soup in the stove and some Mac n Cheese in the cupboard if I got hungry. Store bought food, two ingredient safe bake cakes and 5-minute microwave masterpieces were my mother's speciality.

Its not that she couldn't cook no, quite the opposite. She used to be a chef, its that she doesn't like remembering what she could have been, had it not been for him. I didn't resent him, I just wished he had never come into our lives. But a small fraction of my heart wished things hadn't gone the way they had. It was so perfect. But then again, perfect wasn't supposed to last.

I got up from the window, stretched with my butt high in the air as I relieved my aching bones of their previous position. The wind made gushing noises as it passed by the house, as it swooshed into the hollow, empty rooms and halls which were meant to be filled with laughter and love. They were replaced with darkness. Literal darkness, the power had gone out a couple of seconds ago.

I wasn't new to this routine once a day, the electricity would go out and I would have to go open all the windows up or when I felt like I didn't need all the nosy neighbors gawking at my belongings, I'd simply go sit with my torch in hand while I went jumping at the slightest noises. Yesterday night, the power had been out since I woke up and only came back a few minutes past mid-night. I wore out the batteries of my trusty torch and there wasn't enough light outside for me to just open up the windows.

The neighbors had a back up power source and me and mom should probably invest in one but we moved in officially two weeks ago. I could go over to theirs and stay for the day, they probably. Had a working heater too, what if-

Crash!!

I halted. My breathing, the flurry of thoughts moving at a rapid pace through out my mind, all of it. I didn't want to know what that noise was. I wanted to grab my earphones and tune out the imminent danger fast approaching by the sound of footsteps rushing up the stairs. Think, think, think, Grace dammit. The noise came from the shed which meant that whoever it was couldn't come into the because the shed is outside and, I'm inside. But the more I thought about it, the more my eyes opened and I came to the terrible realization that there is a backdoor from the garage to the shed that my mother never locks till she comes home in the evening.

The blueprint of the house ran through my mind and realized just how unsafe I actually was. The shed connected to the garage, the garage connected to the back hallway, the one with the broken light and that hallway led to. . . .

The staircase, the staircase right next to me. I wanted to scream and hurl at the same time, to surrender and succumb to whatever was going happen. Before I could register my own moves, not thinking about downside of my actions, I moved behind the wall out of view to whoever would soon climb up the stairs. I looked around and finally after what felt like years, I found a weapon. What if it was one of the neighbors? No, it couldn't be, neighbors knock on the door until they realize that you aren't going to open it. Neighbors ring the doorbell and run away so when you open the door, you want to hit them as they run away.

I said a silent prayer as the rain started to drown out the footsteps and I could barely hear them anymore. The garage was on the first floor with the shed. But the living room and anything this guy could possibly want to steal are on the second floor with me. Oh god, I can feel the footsteps, they're coming. This was a terrible idea. Maybe I could just out and try to negotiate, maybe-too late!

At the speed of light, I shot my arm out, the one that held the flat iron that I so cleverly thought would protect me. It hit the guy straight in the gut as I opened my eyes. Well, I did not think this through. In a matter of seconds, at the bottom of the staircase lay an unconscious teenage boy with a soaking flannel shirt and chubby cheeks. He could be my age, now that I think about it.

Wait, what if he's dead? I dropped the iron and used down the stairs when I began hearing more footsteps, he wasn't alone? I pressed two fingers at his jugular and sagged in relief when I felt a pulse. His elbows were starting to bruise just like his chin and forehead, what was this guy thinking? Maybe breaking and entering is a pass time activity that he liked to get into. Do you call the police for things like this?

I met the beautiful blue ones of the boy I wanted to wack with a broom stick all summer once he opened his eyes and I immediately waned to throw him down the stairs again. I hated his guts for more reasons than one but, that didn't matter at the time because I was shaking like a leaf because of need, need to pee, and more obviously, to drink. The rush of adrenaline left me in desperate need to pee and much as I didn't want to leave this guy alone for a second inside my house, I got up, walked to the bathroom and made sure to lock the door before I slipped off my pants and sat on the toilet.

When I was done with everything, I washed up and begrudgingly left the bathroom to see another set of wet footprints only floor and the crackling of a fire. Okay, first things first, no, I do not know how to do that. I do on the other hand know how to turn on a heater which this house just happened to lack.

He had a bag next to the kitchen door that I'd only noticed now with the power up and running, the house lit up again. I walked over to it, took peek inside before I raised an eyebrow at him to which he nodded eagerly. I gently dropped the bag and walked into the kitchen. I got a ziplock from the drawer to my right and dumped a dozen ice blocks into it. I tossed it at him and he winced and caught it I should feel bad considering the hustle he went through to get me the bag but, I didn't . "Great, now get out of my house. Use the door this time."

The boy rushed out as I rushed over to lock the door behind him before any more cold air could rush in. The boy, Reggie lived across the street, our houses were identical but, he had two little sisters, a heater and an older brother. I on the other hand had me, myself and I.

I turned to the bag on the floor and a small smile reached my face. I walked over and grabbed the bag as marched up to my room. the room was big enough to fit a king sized bed but, I settled for the queen. I flipped open the bag, opened up the curtain and took out the bottle of Devil Springs Vodka. As I opened the bottle, I heard the other set of footsteps start up again. The door opened slightly as the vodka passed my lips and burned my throat. It burned all the way to the pit of my stomach. Started feeling myself up as the alcoholic beverage started to do its job and take my fears away.

I knew he was watching, I could feel it as he wordlessly turned me inside out and bent me over to please himself just as he'd done mom. Just as he'd broken her down and crushed her will. Broke her back and made her spill into his arms as he said those three little words that lit up her world. all because she was in love. her love for him was the only testament she had that showed some significance in he life. Because to be in love is greater that to be love, she used to say.

I had heard these statements from every adult and parent figure I had ever come across, each with the same view on the situation. But as a teenager with way more experience than any teenager should have to deal with, I knew that all they were saying was bull. Yes, lying is bad and so is cheating and all that. But so is hypocrisy, don't you think? During your teen years, as a millennial with several opportunities at your doorstep, these were meant to be the years of experimenting. and that is just what was doing. Finding all the hard limits life could throw at me so that when I'm older am thinking of marriage and settling, I'll have had enough bad memories to be ready to look for the good ones. it was like the circle of life all over again.

I will be willing to crash and burn and not make a sound. I will be willing to walk through life wordlessly, noiselessly.