Was there a point to this?

Looking back on the past you’ve been through every type of struggle one could go through when it comes to relationships. You still remember the day you two met. It was out of the blue, just filling up your gas tank and a person from your past zips right up on you. After exchanging numbers and not really thinking anything of this person, or how little effect they had ever had on your life, who knew that eventually this person would forever change the way you perceived a relationship. You knew you were at the end of your rope when it comes to relationships in general, and once you and this person started the communication it quickly led to a more interesting dynamic. The small talk slowly evolved to much more intense conversation, you two slowly start to build a romantic relationship that is exclusive, however; non-committal. “That’s an interesting take,” you thought to yourself. The first time you seen this person after the “gas station” hello, you instantly felt shaky, and nervous to the point of wanting to be out of this situation. The meeting didn’t entail anything to even be nervous about, so why were you so nervous!? What you didn’t realize that day at the gas station was how intense this attraction was going to be. Beyond the flirty texts, and back and forth, you didn’t realize the physical effect this person was going to have on you. “What in world is going on with you?” you thought to yourself. You’ve known this person forever and would have never thought in a million years, they would make you feel like you would be sick because of the intense attraction. The visit was a short but sweet one, and who knew after that day came and went, that they would leave you feeling this way. The conversations were non-stop, and heavily flirtatious. You two identified so much about each other it was hard to not want it to climb to another level. Of course you’re not going to let this person know how deeply and instant this attraction for them was. You were “done” with relationships, remember? Little did you know this person felt the same way about you, and would soon tell you, month’s go by and you two are still playing the seduction games with one another, you keep thinking to yourself that maybe you should end it. You know how these situations go, often one gets left broken hearted due to unrequited love, unless a ghost happens to befall the situation. You know how messy your head can be, and in the midst of thinking those thoughts, this person tells you that they love you. “Oh my God,” you thought, “how come we never talked about this before?” Sure it had been month's, but this wasn't supposed to go this course. Still, you are unsure about the fact this person told you they love you, you’ve been down many roads before, only to be left with a broken heart. You don’t say it back, but instead mention that it’s most likely lust. They feel crushed by your return, you feel confused, and the possibility of it being actual love, well, it can't be. You’ve never really hung out beyond the intimate moments, and even then, they always left you quickly after. You never really spoke about anything other than fantasies and the next romantic get together. “How could this person tell you they love you?” you thought to yourself. People are so confusing, and you’ve been in these past awful situations that left you feeling like you were used. Was this person telling you the truth? Eventually you would go on to hear them tell you this several more times throughout this non-committal relationship. In a moment of rash decision, you finally brake down one day and tell this person you love them back. They immediately respond with heartfelt messages in return. So, this is real, right? The attraction you two feel for each other is amazing and out of this world. The chemistry is so intense between you both, you feel like you're going to erupt at the sight of each other! Then comes the moment they tell you they are scared of this feeling, they have this deep-deep feeling for you, and have never felt like this before. You instantly want to wrap them up in your arms and tell them you won’t let it be scary. If you identify this feeling, why would you ever let it go? There is nothing to be scared of when you have such an intense desire to be with someone, and it was in that moment, you knew the dynamic of this relationship will forever change you and this situation, with this person. You two quickly become more comfortable with each other but it still feels like a kind of on the "surface" relationship. “But why isn’t this progressing?” you think. Trying to reach out and pull more from  this person, not going in too deep, because you know they're scared of how they feel, but wanting a little more seriousness to the equation, yet wondering still, “why if this person loves me, will they not let me in?” You begin to realize that you’ve never met anyone like this person and it’s a bit of a challenge, reaching at anything to keep the deeper, intimate parts of this connection moving forward. You know the feelings are mutual, but why are they making this situation so complicated? If you know and can recognize love, it should be simple, right? "What is wrong with people??" you ask yourself. Well, let’s see what happens. In a moment of bravery, you finally ask this person the question you want to ask them. “Just say it,” you knew you’d regret it if you didn’t. "I'm truly head over heels for you, and want to know if we can we take this to a deeper level of commitment?”. Wondering what the response will be, you prepare yourself, and within a few seconds, you get the blow you were not expecting. “Don’t try to rush this, or force this to happen," your person delivers. “What the hell does that mean?!” The rejection instantly deflates you, and you start to wonder why the hell you’d give someone eight months of your valuable time. You never really thought that being in your 30’s, games might still be being played by people our age. This person did follow that up with another half-hearted attempt of “love you,” but would you still believe it? No, not really, because just like every other time you’d be left without a trace of them in your life, yep, the ghost came. There is but one difference in this situation, comparable to those other times, and the lesson you would pull out of this one is this; during the whole duration of this “relationship,” you were transforming yourself. You were focusing on yourself, in between you and them.  You were mastering self-love. You recognize that it might be a little painful when days go by and you wondered what you did, but you soon realize that it’s not you. When your honest to the core, and give some much of your love and patience to someone, if they don’t cherish it, that’s not your issue. You know in the past, these relationships that have hurt you would often come back realizing they've made a mistake. Almost every time as a matter of fact. Would this one too? Who knows, but you aren't going to dwell on it. This time you keep going forward, and develop much more of a sense about the people you can trust with your precious and rewarding love. You keep giving love out there to those people who are so obviously wounded and emotionally wrecked, because you realize that they need it more than you. You know with out a doubt that you will get back heavenly rewards for being such a gracious and loving person, and you know this because you love yourself unconditionally.