Taxidermy Love

Introduction: The Unorthodox



In the heart of Fort Collins, where the air smelled of pine and adventure, there stood an unassuming building; The Fort Collins Museum of Quirky Artifacts. Its exterior was adorned with gargoyles wearing multicolored scarves and a sign that read, “Abandon Normalcy, All Ye Who Enter Here.”

Evelyn, a collector of oddities and seeker of the extraordinary, had stumbled upon the museum years ago, during a particularly peculiar afternoon. The manager knew she'd be perfect for the job. He brought her in swiftly. Then he hired her to take over and he quit instantly after giving Evelyn the keys. With Evelyn's cat-eyed glasses perched on her nose, she watched the old manager run out the creaky doors. Evelyn shrugged and stepped into a world where time waltzed with the absurd, knowing this was the place she felt most at home.

Chapter 1: The Unlikely Encounter

Inside the Museum, Evelyn, a loyal manager 6 years later, still had a penchant for peculiar things. She reveled in the oddities of the entire museum. Even at home, she'd enjoy the eccentricities, whether it was collecting vintage typewriters or watching interpretive dance performances on her old school television. So, when she steps into the museum for her shifts, her heart flutters like a moth drawn to a flickering light bulb.

Walter, on the other hand, was a retired accountant with a secret passion for sock puppets. His collection numbered in the hundreds, each puppet with its own backstory. He'd even named them: Mr. Snuggles, Lady Sockington, and the elusive Socktopus.

As fate would have it, Evelyn and Walter collided near the exhibit titled "Taxidermy: Beyond the Ordinary." There, amidst stuffed squirrels and stoic badgers, they locked eyes. Evelyn's cat-eyed glasses fogged up, and Walter's toupee shifted slightly to the left.

"Hello," Evelyn said, her voice as delicate as a porcelain teacup balanced on a tightrope. Unable to clearly see the figure that stood before her.

"Good day," Walter replied, adjusting his suspenders. "Fancy a chat about the existential crisis faced by that armadillo?" Walter asked, as he pointed his stubby finger towards the crookedly placed stuffed armadillo. Evelyn giggle snorts at Walter as she wipes her thick glasses off, with an old cloth that was tucked deep in her pocket.

And so, they began their quirky conversation, discussing the philosophical implications of a taxidermied armadillo's frozen expression. Evelyn found herself smitten by Walter's sock puppet anecdotes, while Walter admired Evelyn's ability to quote obscure poetry about lint balls.

Chapter 2: The Great Sock Puppet Heist

Their museum rendezvous became a regular affair. They'd meet by the "Sock Drawer of Wonders" exhibit, where Walter would unveil a new sock puppet creation. Evelyn would gasp in delight; her heartstrings tugged by the tragic tale of Sir Fluffington, the sock puppet knight who battled rogue lint balls.

One fateful afternoon, as they admired a particularly dashing sock puppet named Count Toesula, Evelyn whispered, "Walter, what if we stole the museum's prized taxidermy squirrel?"

Walter's eyes widened. "You mean Squeaky McStuffedtail? The one with the monocle?"

"Yes!" Evelyn's excitement bubbled over. "We'll replace it with a sock puppet version. Imagine the chaos!" Walter not being the criminal type, he tried to talk Evelyn out of it, but the sheer excitement on her face, froze his judgment in place.

"Oh I know Walter, it's dangerous because I work here and I could get fired, but the sheer thrill right?" Evelyn says with pure rebellion. Walter nods rigorously and follows Evelyn's ever word.

And so, "Operation Socky Squirrel" was born. They donned black berets, armed themselves with knitting needles, and tiptoed into the exhibit after hours. Evelyn expertly crafted a squirrel puppet from Walter's old argyle socks, while Walter distracted the security guard with a sock puppet rendition of "Romeo and Juliet: Tale of Tails." The guard would shoo Walter away and he'd do his rounds. Walter would then sneak back inside, hoping to not get caught.

Chapter 3: Love Amongst the Stuffed Animals

Coming around to see Evelyn had completed the puppet, it was time to place it. As they swapped the real Squeaky McStuffedtail with the sock puppet version, their fingers brushed, and sparks flew. It was a love as unexpected as finding a hidden pocket in a vintage coat.

They danced around the exhibit, Squeaky McStuffedtail's monocle askew, and declared their love amidst the taxidermied creatures. The badger clapped its paws (or at least it seemed to), and the armadillo raised an eyebrow (or maybe it was just rigor mortis).

From that day on, Evelyn and Walter were inseparable. They hosted sock puppet tea parties, wrote love letters on typewriter keys, and even choreographed a sock puppet ballet set to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons."

And as for Squeaky McStuffedtail? Well, it turns out he preferred the sock puppet version. He'd always dreamed of being free and a tap-dancing squirrel. Now he had Evelyn and Walter to thank and to cheer him on.

Epilogue: Forever and a Pair of Socks

They say love is like taxidermy: preserved, peculiar, and occasionally missing an eye. Evelyn and Walter proved that even in the oddest of circumstances, hearts can find their match. They married not too long later and had 4 wonderful children. All of which enjoyed taxidermy and sock puppet shows.

So, the next time you visit the Fort Collins Museum of Quirky Artifacts, keep an eye out for Squeaky McStuffedtail. He's the one winking at you from behind the glass case, monocle slightly askew, with his socky attitude.

And remember, love can be as unexpected as a taxidermied squirrel riding a unicycle; quirky, delightful, and utterly socktastic.