The man at the gas statione

The chefs were being run ragged from fulfilling the orders that the servers kept bringing in. The hectic environment was a clear sign that no one in the kitchen staff was ready for the lunch rush: the loud banging, the immense heat from the fires coming from the stovetops. The questioning looks directed at the dishwashers that they needed to speed up as the cooks were running out of plates and the servers constantly demanded utensils. The dishwasher station was overwhelmed by the wave of used containers, and the piles on the racks were in danger of falling. The two dishwashers were constantly moving back and forth.

“Man, I am so sore,” sighed Enrique. And he was telling the truth as his heel was bleeding a bit from a blister. The young man was cold as the speed of his dishwashing made his clothes soak in water. He welcomed it a bit as the weather was blistering hot, and his wet clothes were a welcome break from it.

The time for the rush to calm down was not going to be for another hour. But the two dishwashers were already losing steam, and the heat made the back dishwasher dizzy.

The back dishwasher was a woman sweltering from the heat, and she reeked from having to hand wash everything as they only had one dishwashing machine. The monstrous heat was affecting her.

Enrique went and got the older woman some water from the soda machine. Thankfully, the old soda machine was working despite how overworked the rush was from all day. The short walk was painful, but he would feel guilty if he didn’t give her the water she needed.

She saw the water and offered it to her; she nodded and took it.

“Thank you, boy.” she gasped. The woman was breathing heavily.

“The rush was the fucking worst, huh.” He chuckled to make the woman feel comfortable.

The woman did not think it was funny as she was frowning at his words. This brought a look of concern from Enrique as he didn’t know he had said anything offensive.

“What is wrong,” asked Enrique. The young man had worked for the restaurant recently and knew he wasn’t secure in his position, so he was quick to ask in hopes that whatever was bothering her wasn’t involving him.

The woman was often frowning, but she kept her issues to herself.

“Why are you still here?” he asked. She looked at him in confusion. But he thought it was a fair question as she had been here longer than him and had been since the company was founded. She had to have some plans after all this time. From how she always talked about cars and cared about her red car, she must have some goal for it.

The young man wondered this as he drove into the local gas station. He thought about what she was waiting for as he filled his tank. But as he was thinking about killing time here despite his car’s gas tank being almost filled. There was so much he didn’t want to think about now, and certainly not what he had to do now that he planned to leave his job.

He didn’t know what he knew he was going to do. He had no skills and no idea where to find something to do about it. There is an audience waiting to see him fail. He knows that isn’t true, but he fears it nonetheless. That audience is cruel and unfair, but he feels safe in monotony as long as he does the same thing daily. But that monotony is going away soon.

He feels the days slowly go by, and he is dreading it. He starts to curse the person who inspired him to do so, Leslie, his co-dishwasher. The woman’s steadfast confidence in her performance in the station and meticulous care in her car was something a man with so little confidence in himself. But then today, he asked her plan for what she would do with her life when she retired. She was going to turn sixty-five soon. But she looked at him as if he was crazed and it hurt to know he was alone.

He looked at the moonlit sky fighting the light pollution coming from the gas station. He heard the beeping from the gas pump and put it away. But he had so much time to kill. And he didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to go to bed and remembered what to do tomorrow.

He didn’t want to go online and look for a job. He didn’t want to remember that no one was home. He didn’t want to remember the bills he had to pay or that no one wanted him. He was never anyone’s first pick, and therefore no one would help him live his life. And that knowing that he was in control of that scared him.

“She was looking at me as I am,” Enrique whispered to himself. He wasn’t sure why he said that, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted an answer.

He looked around, hoping to find some distraction, but the crickets chirping and the sounds coming from the fluorescent lights told him that he would have to go him. He sat by his car. The young man took out his phone and opened a streaming app. He yawned as he did just got off from work.

He kept watching videos and playing games on his phone. The thought of going home never crossed his mind. The responsibilities that he was supposed to do were forgotten from his denial.

But the young man knows that when he becomes an old man, he can’t run away as he did now. After all, Leslie would be disappointed in him if he did. Despite what she reveals about herself today, that woman was still his hero. He still wanted that quiet confidence she always displayed and worked as hard as her. But he wondered if there would ever be a day he wasn’t so afraid of the future.