Welcome to the Monster Matchmaking Agency

The town was coming alive as Jacob Scrub walked down an orange, sunlit street. The overhead lamps flickered on as he heard a police siren and several dogs barking in the distance. He turned off the main road, checking his watch as he followed the winding path into a nearby neighborhood. The time read 5:33pm. 

My ticket's for 5:45. I should be right on time.

The leaves rustled passed in the cool autumn breeze as he found himself at the end of a one-way street. The quiet assortment of houses looked lifeless, many in complete disrepair. 

Which one was it again?........Oh right, that one!

He walked over to a fenced-off old house with a faded purple exterior. As he entered through the old metal gate, the hinges creaked loudly. Creeeek!

The house, like the others around it, was in terrible shape. Many of the roof tiles looked loose. Several of them cracked or crumbling. Paint from the exterior walls was chipping and flaking off, the wood boards beneath exposed in some areas. Broken shutters hung loosely from the second-story windows and small cracks lined every visible wall. 

As he stepped beneath the wooden portico, he pulled a brass key out of his pocket. Looking around for onlookers he slipped the key into the lock. The brass key scraped the metal lock as it clicked into place. He turned it. 

CRANK, PSSSH, CRIICK!

The door made several sounds as inner latches and locks released themselves in quick succession. Finally, the door made a grinding sound and vanished into a swirling green vortex. 

GRRRRKKK!

Jacob stared into the swirling vortex, feeling its pull. The fallen leaves the covered the porch brushed passed him as he checked his watch. It read 5:45. 

It’s time.

He jumped into the vortex, allowing his body to be pulled down what felt like a very long tunnel. 

On the other side, he found himself standing in a small room. The single swinging overhead light irritated his eyes. He rubbed them as someone in a red uniform looked at him from behind a desk. 

“Thank you for using portal number 314. We know you have many portals to choose from when entering the Monster District, but we are happy to be of service to you. The local time is 5:46. Please adjust your watches accordingly for “under the bed” time””, the woman said, as if reading from a prepared script. 

As Jacob could guess, she was not human. Instead, she was a slime receptionist. A human-shaped monster with dripping translucent blue skin. 

Jacob walked over to her desk. “Jacob Scrub, returning from abroad.”

“May I see your pass”, she said in a bright and cheery voice. 

“Yeah….. Just a sec.”

He reached for his wallet and pulled out his paperwork. The woman took them into her slimy fingers and read through the contents. Immediate recognition spread across her face as she returned her gaze. 

“Oh yes, how could I forget one of our few human residents! I do hope your holiday was enjoyable.”

“Just visiting family. Wasn’t that interesting.”, Jacob said dismissively. 

The woman returned his paperwork with a smile. “Have a good day!”

“Thanks.”

After exiting the portal room, he entered the main station. Jacob chuckled to himself. Monsters of all types were moving about the multi-leveled, circular building. 

Just like the airport.  

As he made his way to the exit, he passed through immigration, security checkpoints, and baggage pick-up. Thankfully he had sent his baggage ahead of time, so he didn’t need to stop and wait like many of the other arrivals. He’d learned from personal experience how dodgy portal travel can be with suitcases or souvenirs. You take them through to your destination, and next thing you know, they’re found in Tokyo. 

Upon exiting the station, he made his way to the city bus stop. Most of the monsters in the line paid him no mind, but he could still feel more than a few prying eyes. 

I can hear it coming.

Long and thin, with yellow-tinted windows lining its sides, the giant purple hairball of a bus slithered down the road like a great snake. As it came to a stop, a door appeared on its side, allowing several monsters to exit in a rush. Jacob boarded through the door-like opening, his feet squishing as he stepped into the pink, flesh-like interior. The coalescing scents of several passengers permeated his nose as the door closed. It pulled away, rocking back and forth as it slithered down the uneven roads.

I’m going to be sick. 

……

The next morning, Jacob woke to his alarm screaming at him, “Get under the bed sleepy head!”. 

You see, in the Monster District, there is no sunlight. Only an endless night. The times of the day are thus referred to as, “Under the Bed” (awake), and “In the Bed” (asleep). 

Time to go

He clicked off the alarm, showered, and left for work. The streets were lined with candle-lit lamps, illuminating the walkways. Jacob enjoyed his commute, sparking up his morning cigarette and offering the occasional greeting to his passing neighbors. He inhaled deeply as he looked up at the purple, starless sky. In short order, the suburban skyline gave way to the endless high-end buildings of the nearby city. Many of the buildings were adorned with horns, claws, scales, and other assorted monster pieces. To a human, the buildings may have looked a bit strange, but Jacob knew this was normal. In the Monster District, this was considered to be the height of style. Business owners often designed and decorated their buildings after legendary monsters. Thinking that it brought them good luck and fortune. Though all monsters were represented by this tradition, dragons and demons seemed to be the clear favorites. They were, after all, known for being powerful and wealthy. 

Jacob stamped out his cigarette at a crosswalk and rounded the final corner in his commute. The building that served as his workplace stood like a great black tower, overshadowing its nearest neighbor. The dark, reflective exterior, carved into dragon-like scales, were crafted of set stone. The scales reflected in the lamplight, giving the building a faint purple hue. Above the main entrance, hung by short black chains, was a wooden sign. The name, “Love and Lucky” were written on it in cursive script. 

Jacob pushed through the great wooden doors to find a bustling reception area. Girls in pleated brown skirts and vests were running back and forth, trying to prepare everything for opening. The large room was set up like the interior of a bank. Five teller booths were set in a semi-circular pattern around a sizable seating area. On the back wall hung a picture of the founder, James Q. Plork, a spider-like monster in a blue business suit. Bellow his picture was a message scrawled out in large black letters, “Those who are in love, are lucky. Those who find love, are even luckier.”

“Oh, Mr. Scrub. Welcome back. How are you?” one of the girls said after noticing him. 

“I'm fine......... Anything happen while I was away”

“You could say that.”

“What happened?”

“A special case came in and we’re not sure how to deal with it”

“Who’s the client?”

“Uh……… Give me a moment.”

The girl quickly rushed away, stepping into the backroom through a revolving wooden door. 

“Who’s the client!?”, Jacob repeated. 

The girl returned quickly, carrying a small folder under her arm. She opened it delicately and leafed through the papers.

“You see…… ”, she said, almost at a whisper. “She’s a…a…a Succubus”. 

Succubus!

Jacob was lost in confusion for a moment. Succubi were monsters who did not feel genuine love. They viewed it more like hunting. Looking at humans and other monsters only as a food source. Companies such as “Love and Lucky”, who helped monsters find partners, NEVER had Succubi clientele.

“Wh…Wh….Why are they coming to us? Wouldn’t a brothel in the red-light district be a better place for their needs?”

The receptionist was quiet for a moment. “I thought as much too, but it seems she’s had the flutter. Not much she can do.”

The flutter?…..The flutter….?

Jacob had heard of the flutter, but he couldn’t recall what it meant. Sensing this, the girl gave a quick explanation about the phenomenon. 

“I’ll need to meet with her before I decide.”, Jacob finally said. 

“I’ll pencil her in for this afternoon then.”

She passed him the file and returned to her cleaning. 

I just need to do what I think is best. I can at least meet with her and figure it out from there. 

He took the elevator to his third-floor office and began reading the file. Monster class, personality traits, and general preferences were all listed in the paperwork, along with other basic information.  

Didn’t know Succubi had preferences. Interesting.

He read through the file several more times before finally setting it down. His head began to throb.

I’m getting a headache

Throughout the rest of the morning, Jacob visited with his usual clients. As their agent, he was to remain impartial, giving them advice on how to proceed through the agency's processes. Many of them had found successful matches in this manner, but impartiality was easier said than done. He took great pride in his successes, and deep shame in his failures. As a human, he didn’t know if it was because monsters viewed emotions differently, but he found he had greater success than his colleagues.  

As he said goodbye to his last regular client, his desk phone started to ring. Ring, Ring

He picked it up and held it to his ear. It crackled for a moment. Then one of the girls at reception came on.

 “Mr. Scrub, a….Ms…….crackle…..” There was a brief pause, followed by an unintelligible noise. “A, Ms. Zylphia is here to see you.”

“Yes, send her up.”, he said returning the phone to its rest. 

knock, knock, knock

She’s here.

“Come in!”, he said in an upbeat voice. 

The first thing to do with new clients is to be nice and comforting. 

The woman who walked through the door was not what Jacob was expecting. Succubi were known for feeding on the elicit desires of men, often dressing in skimpy and provocative clothing to entice their prey. Yet this woman, standing in the doorway of his office, looked nothing like that. She was dressed in a long blue skirt with a white cashmere sweater. Her short yellow horns protruded out from her long magenta-colored hair, coming down past her well-endowed chest in long strands. Her light blue skin was pure and supple, accented by large yellow eyes, black lashes, and full purple lips. 

Am I breathing right now?

Her yellow eyes stared at him quizzically. “C… Could you not stare at me like that”, she said in a shy voice. 

Jacob couldn’t answer. Her gaze was fixed on him, freezing him in place. 

Is this her charm? I can’t move!

“S…. Sorry, my charm has been difficult to control lately.” 

Suddenly, he was able to move again

“It’s fine...”

Scary

“H…. Have we met before? You look familiar to me.”, she asked. 

“I don’t think so……I don’t visit succubus brothels much.”

“Neither do I.”, she remarked as a touch of anger entered her voice.

She looked away and crossed her arms beneath her protruding chest, elevating it slightly. 

Damn it. This isn’t off to a great start.

“Ah, ha, ha...sorry about that.”, he returned nervously. “Won’t you have a seat?”

She closed the door and sat down in one of the chairs that faced his desk. Her gaze was firmly fixed on another part of the room. Sensing her nerves, Jacob decided to start things off a bit more informal than usual. 

She’s not acting like I thought a succubus would.

He opened one of the cabinets on the rightmost wall. “Do you like tea?”.

 The girl didn’t answer him as he pulled an electric kettle and store-bought tea bags down from an upper shelf. 

“I really like tea, especially on cold days.”

The cabinet closed with a click as he turned back to her. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t have anything other than green tea. I forgot to buy some during my last visit.”

The girl fixed him in her gaze, studying him for a moment. 

“You’ve been to the human world?”

Jacob clicked on the electric kettle, setting the water to boil. 

“Several times. I am human after all.” 

She looked as if she wanted to ask another question, but decided against it. 

Guess I need to push some more. 

“So, …. Today we will cover a basic explanation of our services, payment options, and anything else you may have questions about. If you feel comfortable after hearing everything, we can start the matching process.”

Jacob opened her file once more, refreshing himself on her specific dating preferences. 

“Let’s see……. Based on the details you provided in your initial interview; we could match you with a few Incubi (male Succubi). However, they don’t get the flutter as Succubi do, so your experience may vary. If you would like to date in different classes we can ……

“ The flutter. What’s, the flutter?”, she asked, cutting him off. 

Wait…. did no one tell her?!

“How should I explain this….…. The flutter…..is a phenomenon that occurs in a few Succubi. It changes their emotions and perceptions to be more….. human-like. Essentially,………you no longer view men only as prey…….”

“Is that why I feel different?”, she said holding her hand up to her chest. 

“I’m not sure about the specifics. I’ve been told that the effect varies between each Succubi.”

“How many Succubi have you met who are like me?” 

“You are the first one I’ve met.” 

“Is that so…….”, she said trailing off. 

Good, she’s responding. Time to move on to the matter at hand

“I’m guessing it’s why you were sent to me.”, he said. 

“Why would I be sent to you?”. 

“Well, humans are good at reading emotions and empathizing with each other. It helps us socialize and form complex relationships.” 

She looks confused

“Your new emotions are complicated, but I can help you with them.” 

The kettle began to beep. Beep!  Beep! He took two mugs off the nearby shelf and filled them with water. 

“Here,” he said, handing her a red mug and tea bag. “Steep the bag in the water and let it sit.”

She did as she was told and took a sip. “Owww! That’s hot!”

“Give it a minute! Though,….. I didn’t think it was that hot.” he said, sipping at his own. 

“Uh...... My mouth is more sensitive than yours. It helps with……... eating”

An image appeared in his head, but Jacob tried desperately to not show any emotion. 

“Eh…….Best to let it cool for a moment then.” 

Is she embarrassed by her dietary preferences?  

She picked up the mug once again and blew on it, sipping gently, as fresh tears began to streak down her face.  “It’s good”, she remarked. 

Shit!

Jacob opened his desk drawer and handed her a box of tissues. She took a few and began dabbing at her eyes. “I’m sorry…… Ever since this change happened, I haven’t been myself.”

She blew her nose as Jacob questioned what he should do. 

Perhaps, this is good for her. 

“You know,…….human emotions aren’t a bad thing.”

“Yes, they are!” she snapped. “ These…. these feelings make me feel horrible. Like I want to scream, or punch something!....I……I just want to be normal again.”

HMMM!

“Who was it?”

“Whaa?”

“Your emotions are telling you to scream……. That’s what it feels like when your heart breaks….So, who broke it?” 

“……………it was a human.”

That took Jacob aback for a moment. 

“I..I..see”

“……… I was in a human world café when I noticed a man sitting by himself.”, she explained, fidgeting a little. 

Is she embarrassed?

“I thought he’d be easy prey, so I walked over to him. He was reading, “The Catcher in the Rye”, I think. So I decided to ask him about it. I activated my charm, but he didn’t answer.”

The Catcher in the Rye? That’s…...

“I tried again, but my charm wasn’t working. I touched him on the shoulder and he just looked at me. I felt something strange in my chest as he spoke, but I never talked to him…….”

She shifted her gaze to the floor., “Why didn’t my charm work. As soon as he spoke, the entire game changed. I couldn’t even ask his name; I was so nervous!”

“What was the cafés name?”

“Huh!?”

She raised her head and stared at him in confusion

“What was the name?”

“Le Blue, I think. Why?”

Jacob let out a long sigh “aggggghhhhhhhhh!”

“I..Is that significant?”, she asked nervously as she leaned back into the chair. 

“Yeah,………because I’m the man you talked to.” 

He could see her struggling to speak. Her lower lip trembling as he scratched the back of his head.  

Guess I should tell her.

 “On that day……..I had just broken up with my girlfriend. So, I wasn’t exactly in a loving mood you could say.”

Something about that interested her. 

“Th….That’s why my charms didn’t work on you! You were immune.”

“Most likely……after all, who wants to start something new after their heart gets crushed.”

“More men than you’d think.”

They laughed at this. 

“So……what would you like to do?”, 

“Hmm?”

“I mean, if you’re willing to give me a second chance, I’d like to take you out for coffee sometime.”

She looked taken aback by his offer. As if she were unsure of what to say. 

Will she say yes?

 “Sure!”, she said, flashing her fangs in a great big smile.  

“Just,……don’t eat me”.

“I make no promises”, she said laughing

“Those who are in love, are lucky. Those who find love, are even luckier.”

-       James Q. Plork