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Thriller

"Are we getting in?" Cora says.

"I think so.. I mean- I don’t know" Nate looks at the keys, jangling on the ignition.

She strokes the hood with her finger, "If we don’t have a special place to go to… at least we get to ride in a special vehicle."

It is not just a special machine. It is his Boss's convertible Camero.

Nate have dreamt about her for a long time.

From some reason, tonight is his chance.

Now, alone at night in the parking lot, it is just a matter of action.

They both lean on the sides of the hood. rain starts pouring.

"Why don’t we get back inside? Drink whatever we want-"

"But I don’t want to go back!" she sets her tone again, "You know… A lady should be taken out."

Nate bites his lip, "and next time we will."

Cora looks into his eyes. "Who says there will be a next time?"

If it depends on him, there will be. But it never is.

The stakes are always against him, he will never get the girl without sacrifices.

But this time it is different. He will be losing a friend too.

Now, when he finally quit his job. He needs her more than ever.

"If we take her, there are more to take into account," he contemplates.

"you really want to run away?"

Cora grins, "You are taking it too seriously.

We are only taking her for a ride.

We'll return her, and he would never notice."

"Why can't it be just the two of us. Drinking our asses off on his expense."

Cora smiles, "Nate, look at the shiny leather seats.

We should not let them go to waste in this rain… "

"But what if something happens?

You don’t know how he speaks of her. if something happens to her-"

"But nothing will! let's go already!"

The rain is getting worse, wind starts blowing on Cora's hair.

Nate closes his eyes and takes a big breath.

He opens his eyes and jumps inside the car. Cora does the same.

He starts the engine and clicks on the roof button, changes the gear to drive and slowly gets out of the parking lot while the roof starts closing.

The radio plays 'Who are you?' of The Who.

Their hands meet while reaching for the volume. Only he looks at her.

He wonders if she can feel his blood cells flashing through his body.

"So how does it feel?" Cora asks.

"It feels like I am going to remember this night."

"And if we stayed in the bar, it was just another night I come visiting at the end of your shift."

What is so bad about another night together? He thought to himself.

She continues, "So…

Where should we go?"

"We can go get some burgers or something."

he really did not think it through. That what happens when you plan on booze as your wingman.

"Cheap date. I thought of you as-"

The car stomps on something and a bad sound roams the car.

They look at each other speechless.

Nate slows the car and turns it to the roadside, breaks and changes to parking.

"What was that?" she asks as The Who responds from the radio "I really wanna know!"

Nate blushes, "I don't know. But we have to check it."

"Well... you are the man." she winks at him with an awkward smile.

Nate opens the door. The rain is heavy, and the only light on the road comes from the car.

Nate looks at the road, sees nothing.

He circles around the car, nothing seems sabotaged.

He lays on the ground, seeing nothing underneath.

He stands up. Cora looks at him from the inside, he shrugs. 

Cora opens the window, "Maybe it's nothing."

"I gotta keep looking until I know that for sure."

Nate goes around the back of the Camero. He opens the trunk.

His eyes widened.

He sees a man laying inside. His head covered with blood.

Nate holds a step back, blocks his mouth and nose with a hand.

He lingers and takes three big breaths.

He steps closer and sees what seems to be a broken bottle of Drambuie, fractions of glass decorating the blood all over the head.

Nate swallows his spit and checks for pulse.

"Nate? You found something? " Cora's voice breaks with the rain.

A beat passes. Only the ground responds to the rain.

Nate closes the trunk, returns to the driver's seat, shuts the door and the radio.

"Cora… I know why the keys were in the ignition."

Cora trembles, "What do you mean?"

Nate looks at her, "My boss is laying in the trunk.

He is dead."

A beat passes.

Cora looks at the back of the car and then back at Nate.

"What are we going to do?"

"Well… we can't just return the car now," he looks at the roof,

"calling the police is not an option neither."

"So what do you suggest?"

"We gotta figure who did it."

Cora looks at him, a little smile appears, "Have you done it?"

Nate flinches, "Fuck no! I quit just a few hours ago. Why would I?"

"I was kidding… I know you didn’t." she grins and puts her hand on his lap.

"Its fine.

You did raise a good question, Why?"

"I think for a night stud like your boss. A guy who owns a bar…

There is a lot of good reasons."

"You meaning?"

"First, you told me he has a partner. There is a good mo-"

"Can't be him. he is dumb as fuck and grateful for every decision he doesn't have to make."

"What about other bar owners around?"

"Nah.. He is famous of contributing to every bar around.

Last week he sent 10 gas barrels to a bar who ran out of beer gas."

"You never told me he is such a good guy."

"Well.. he is," he looks back and lowers his heads, "he was."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I mean- I know he is a little touchy."

"A little?" Her eyes widened, "You know he hugged me the first time you introduced me?"

"Ok. So, he hugged you-"

"I see you don’t get a lot of hugs from him…" she groans, "Let's say he reaches more than the back."

"You never told me..."

"It's alright. I don’t think he will bother anyone no more."

Nate suddenly notices her hand on his lap but remains focus, "So you are saying there is a chance someone didn’t approve of his behavior."

"Maybe. Or it might be one of your stuff."

Nate ponders.

Maybe is Jenny, she is a little of cash too and- no. no way. She is not the kind of girl who takes on action.

Seth? Hell no. she loves him. If he smacks her chicks, she won't even mutter.

Benny the other bartender? Too stoned to give a fuck.

"I don’t think so…" he says.

"It could have been an accident."

"A bottle accidently hits his head? You think?" he grins.

"I meant someone might not intend to do it. But that’s what happened."

"That is possible. But still leaves a question of who."

"Maybe it was just an angry homeless person-"

Nate lays his palm on the hand Cora placed on his lap.

"They are homeless. Not a murderous anonymous.

Besides, He gives every homeless who comes around something to eat and lets them take any bottle for recycle."

Cora does not respond.

Nate continues, "Maybe I Saw something..."

"Ok… Do you remember anything special?"  

"I don’t recall. It was a normal night at the bar.

I texted you at 11:30 that I will be over at 1:00, we agreed you will come over,"

Nate suddenly remembers it is supposed to be The Night.

He disconnects their eye connection and wanders.

"I started closing the bar at midnight. A little after, I remember seeing my boss leaving the bar.

He had his favorite bottle in his hand, The Drambuie. And was already pretty drunk. I even suggested to call a cab for him, but he refused and left."

Cora waits a few seconds and says, "That’s it?"

"That is all I remember."

A light suddenly dazzles them from the back. It is a driving car.

The car turns to the sideroad and stops a couple meters behind the Camero.

The drops of rain grew bigger and pound the roof above Nate and Cora.

"Shit." Nate says.

"What do we do?" Cora's palm presses his lap.

"It is probably just someone who thinks we are stuck.

Wait here. I will go talk to him,"

Nate opens the door. Cora grabs his hand.

"Don’t worry." he says.

She slowly nods her head and lets him go.

Nate walks towards the car behind them.

He arrives in front of the driver's window.

The window comes down, a man inside the car looks at him.

"Everything is alright?" the man says.

"Yes. we just stopped here," Nate hesitates, "My girl is with me.

We just.. wanted… some alone time."

The man tilts his head a little. Suddenly his eyes widened.

"Oh. I see.

Still, I Don’t think it's a good place to-- never mind.

It's none of my business."  

Nate gives him a little smile. "You are absolutely right. But sometimes you-"

"As long as you are ok, and you have a phone in case you get stuck or-"

Nate takes out his phone from his jacket's pocket, opens it and shows him.

"I see.

Well, I won't bother you no more."

"Thank you for stopping by."

The man pulls the gear back to drive and starts closing the window.

Nate turns his phone to his face and covers with the other hand against the rain. He sees an unread text from Cora.

'I finished my babysitter earlier. I am on my way to you.'

The message is from two hours ago.

The time now is 2:00.

Nate stands still while the car starts to move and returns to the road.

Cora opens the driver's door and shouts, "We are good?!"

Nate doesn’t answer.

He puts his phone into his pocket and walks back to the driver's door.

Cora moves back to her seat, and Nate gets inside. Cora stares at him.

He closes the door, changes the gear to drive and pulls the hand brake.

"What are you doing?" Cora shrieks.

The car starts to move.

"I am returning the car."

"What? Why?" she quivers, "Nate what happened?"

Nate accelerates and gets back to the lane.

"You suggested it before we took off."

"But what about your boss?"

"What about him?"

"Nate, stop.

do you think you are doing the right thing?"

"What else do you suggest?"

"Nate… why don’t we stop to think about it."

"I am not stopping until you suggest something better."

Cora does not respond.

Nate continues, "Or you can tell me if you have seen something tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"You don’t recall something on your way from the babysitter to the bar?"

"What? No. What are you talking about? I-I didn’t see anything."

Nate steps harder on the gas paddle.

"You sure?"

"Yes. I am sure.

Now can you please stop the fucking car!"

"I got your text.

A little late but made me wonder."

Cora lingers with her mouth open.

She pulls her phone from her purse and checks her messages.

"Oh right. I got hang up by the parents. The father forgot his wallet at the restaurant and called me on my way to you.

The mother was too tired and went to sleep, so I came back-"

"Show me your last incoming calls."

"You don’t believe me?" she puts her arm on his shoulder.

Nate removes her arm and looks at her with a cold look.

The car is speeding, the windshield wipers is chasing the water drops.

"Stop the car. I will show you."

"We are getting close. I can wait until we arrive."

"And then what? What have you planned?"

"What have I planned?" he raises his voice, "I planned a casual night for us.

Then you came and told me my boss left his car in the parking lot with the keys in the ignition."

A beat passes.

He continues, "It is a good time to tell me what you planned Cora."

Cora opens her mouth but cannot get the words out.

She bites her lip and groans.

"OK! OK!

I will tell you everything.

But please, STOP-THE-FUCKING-CAR."

He answers calmly, "I told you. The car is not stopping until you-"

Cora reaches for the wheel, Nate blocks, her hand falls on the radio.

The Who roars 'Won't get fooled again', as Cora jumps from her seat on Nate's lap and breaks the wheel, he tries to push her. But it is too late.

The car crashed against an Oak.

Cora starts to wake up, she reckons the colors blue and red moving.

Outside of her window she sees Nate handcuffed, talking to an officer.

February 18, 2021 21:34

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3 comments

Niamh Brown
18:02 Mar 01, 2021

Hey. I was asked by Reedsy to read and review this story. I really enjoyed reading it. Strengths: it was gripping; had a good start, middle and end; and it was paced well. No part seemed too rushed or too long. Your dialogue was broken up nicely too, which I enjoyed. Weaknesses: you need to work on your tenses and grammer. There's a few examples I could give, but to give one, this passage should say: "It was not just a special machine, it was his Boss's convertible Camero. Nate had dreamt about her for a long time." Does that help? I h...

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Paz Harel
20:17 Mar 02, 2021

Hey Niamh, I am greatful for this comment, I admit this is actually my first story written in english, so i was ready for grammer and tenses problems. Therefore your abilty to enjoy and to leave strengths means A LOT. Regarding your example, if the narrator is in present tense, why this sentence needs to be in past tense ? Anyway, of course i am going to work on my english, and I hope you would like to read my new story for this current contest. Now I will go check your stories ;)

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Oasis Romem
16:48 Feb 25, 2021

Great short story, i was surprised. 👏👏

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