Sunny Pick-up Line

Submitted into Contest #92 in response to: Write about a character who thinks they have a sun allergy.... view prompt

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Fiction Funny Happy

The wood of the porch whined under my weight as my bare feet stepped onto it. The cool morning air sent shivers down my spine, causing me to huddle myself closer to my hot cup of tea. The shivers quickly dispersed as I took a sip from the mug. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed being able to breathe in the fresh air that I hadn't been able to enjoy since we moved to the city. Even though I didn't want to come here, I must admit this vacation was a marvelous idea.

I looked up at the sky. Birds flew through the air giving me the irrational fear that one might poop on me. The sun casts light through the lively, green leaves of the trees onto the ground that was still wet from last night's rain showers. The glistening water on the blades of grass just added to the morning beauty. I've never been one for hot summers, but instead, I've always loved those cold winter mornings. The light wouldn't have been as pretty to me without the shadows it cast, providing shade so I can watch the light's beauty without directly being affected by it. For a small moment, watching the light and darkness dance around each other, I appreciated it all, the light, the dark, the good, the bad. It all seemed beautiful. 

This feeling of beauty was short-lived as I heard a thump from within the house. I tried to ignore the tea I spilled on my shirt and the sound of feet franticly running through the house looking for me as I tried to escape back to the comforting feeling of bliss I had just felt. The feeling was gone now as Ellie ran outside onto the porch. I jealously furrowed my brow at the porch's science when dealing with Ellie. 

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you." Ellie said, following me as I walked back into the house. 

"Is something wrong?" I ask, putting my now empty mug into the sink as what was before annoyance at Ellie having ruined my blissful morning turned into worry about why she might need me. 

"I think I'm allergic to the sun," Ellie said, opening the fridge and pouring us both a glass of milk. Between bites of her breakfast, I took note of what she was eating, an assortment of fruit. I, on the other hand, was eating a muffin. We made eye contact as I slowly placed the muffin I had barely even taken a bite of in the trash.

She opened her mouth, ready to tell me about how I shouldn't compare myself to other people and instead I should eat what I want, but I stopped her by switching the subject.

"What were you saying about being allergic to the sun?"

"Oh, well, I get all sneezy whenever I'm in sunlight." I nodded along, pulling out my phone, ready to put her health in the hands of Google.

"Looks like there is a sun allergy, but the symptoms seem to be rashes. How long ago did this start?" I scroll through my phone as she chuckles at my tone.

"Oh, and since when are you a doctor?" She asks teasingly.

"Technically, Google's the real doctor here." She takes a moment to contemplate this as I continue to scroll through the list of symptoms.

After about two minutes of me not finding anything about the sun making people sneeze, I say this, "I've narrowed it down to two options."

"Okay?"

"Option one, we lock you in the basement and make sure no sunlight can ever reach you. Option two, you do the smart thing and go to a professional." 

"Option one sounds more fun." I fight with my phone to get it into my pocket as I gawk at Ellie. 

"How in any universe would you think being locked in a basement sounds fun!?" My phone falls out of my pocket, but I'm too busy waiting for Ellie's response to care.

"Well, actually, it depends if you're down there with me. If not, it won't be as enjoyable." I blush as Ellie chuckles at my flustered face. The shadows and light dance around on her face as they had earlier on the ground, and, for a moment, I felt the same feeling I had felt before. 

I shook myself from the hold of her enchanting smile as a realization dawned on me. "Was all this just a setup for you to say that?"

"Well, it was a setup for another pick-up line I had because I didn't think you'd believe me when I said I was allergic to the sun," I wondered why she would think I wouldn't believe her.

"What was the original pick-up line?"

Ellie chuckled as she dragged me over to the couch. " I was going to say I thought I was allergic to the sun, and then I'd cuddle up to you and pretend to be allergic to you." 

As we cuddled on the couch, I looked out through the window at the sun. 

"You know, you and I are a lot like the sun and moon, at least, from the viewpoint of the Earth," I said, hoping I wasn't about to embarrass myself with how cheesy I was about to be.

"How so?"

"Well, I'm always leaving whenever you arrive because you're so much bigger and brighter than me, but at the end of the day, you're what makes me shine." She chuckles, and I feel embarrassed for having said something so cheesy out loud, but she cuddles me closer and says, "Nah, I think you'd be the sun."

"Oh, and what makes you so sure," I paused for a second, "Is it because I'm so much fatter."

Ellie scoffs and, even though I can't see her from my position on the couch, I know she's rolling her eyes. 

"Okay, first, you aren't fat, and two, I know you'd be the sun because," She paused, most likely for dramatic effect.

"Because?" I ask but then get interrupted by,

ACHOO!!!

May 07, 2021 03:19

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