Motivated Thrills

Entering the arena I felt a surge of pain course through my body. This was the moment I had been waiting for for so long. I would finally graduate from Shermont’s High School while giving a speech to the class of 2019 but I couldn’t resist my various emotions from piling inside my head. As the ceremony began with my family anxiously waiting for me to speak I started to feel very nervous. My palms began to sweat and a tight knot formed in the pit of my stomach. I tried to calm my nerves by shifting around in the foldable chair and fidgeting with the shiny blue gown. During the introduction given by the principal, My mind began to wander to that first day of my senior year. 

10 Months Earlier

I had just been startled awake by my alarm clock when it struck at 6 o’clock. I had been feeling anxious the night before and my mind would drift upon the possibilities of how my first day of school would end. What if I forget to bring a pencil, forgot to study for an exam that I was not aware of in the first place or even forgot to wear pants. I sat up on my bed and I took three deep breaths. As I felt my nerves begin to subside I slipped on my slippers and reached for my clothes to take a quick shower. While showering I made a mental note of what not to do on the first day. To skip breakfast. I refuse to allow my stomach to make roaring whale calls. My best friend Evelyn would not let me hear the end of it after physics last year. After drying myself off and getting dressed I made a beeline towards the kitchen. As usual, my mother and father were already at work in the clinic. They have both been dentists for over ten years which always made me feel obligated to take over the clinic one day and continue their legacy. Of course, my dream wasn’t to become a dentist but it’s not like I could actually tell them that. “Mom Dad I have decided that I want to leave California and pursue my passion for writing.” Five minutes... later, “Why are you doing this to us, Nadia? Don’t you love me?” my mother would ask while blowing her nose into a tissue. “Writing is not a real career!” my father would argue. It’s not practical I couldn’t possibly ruin their happiness. After all, they have already forced me to join several internships regarding the action of pulling teeth. Yay! How fun. Each of those training sessions would begin with many immediately running toward the nearest exit after the instructor showed a clip regarding unhealthy teeth. Of course, I would have run out along with several others but I had an obligation to fulfill. Enough about that! I am so hungry I can eat an entire cow! Not literally of course. Besides, I’m a vegetarian. As I finished eating my breakfast burrito I began packing all the necessary items for school. Pens, pencils, highlighters, notebooks, binders, staplers, and folders, All of it. I needed it to be prepared. As I quickly left my house I began walking towards the bus stop until I felt a slight tug on the bottom of my shoe. I have stepped on a half-chewed piece of gum. “Dammit Dammit Dammit!” I cursed under my breath when I heard Evelyn’s voice behind me. “Nadia? Are you okay?” she asked in a concerning tone. “I’m fine. I just hope this day doesn’t get any worse!” I muttered. As we made small talk regarding our favorite classes and comparing our schedules the bus pulled up in front of the bus stop. As Evelyn and I entered the bus we were greeted with loud voices coming from the chatter of other students. When we sat down Evelyn began to speak, “So… I heard that Jake is now officially single.” Jake is my current high school crush. I have liked him ever since he walked into my geometry class Freshman year.  I have always been shy around him and trust me I’ve tried to talk to him before but every time I get the courage to approach him he is already walking another girl to class. I know that he has had many relationships in the past but maybe a relationship between us could be different, but I had to play my cards right. “I don’t have a crush on him anymore!” I quickly exclaimed. I needed to act less desperate so that Jake will approach me and not the other way around. “Wait… What? You have always talked about him nonstop!” replied Evelyn. She’s not wrong every time he posts on social media I vent to her about how I wish I could be with him. I even fell off a tree when I spied on him walking to his friend’s house. I had so many bruises that night. “Well, some things don’t last forever much like this crush,” I added. As the bus stopped Evelyn and I jumped out of our seats to finally begin our senior year. As usual, Jake was standing near the front door with his athletic friends, or that’s what I think they are. All of them do have a noticeable amount of muscle mass. As we walked by I made subtle eye contact with him and I swear our eyes locked onto each other. I thought my heart was going to melt. Immediately when I entered the building the school bell rang signaling the beginning of the first period. In all honestly, after that smile from Jake I have not paid any attention to my first two class periods. When lunch began I instantly went to find Evelyn speaking to Ingrid who happens to be the most popular girl in school. I approached the two of them and Ingrid enveloped me into a hug. I was surprised as we didn’t know each other well enough to evade each other’s space bubble. I mean I have given her my geometry homework several times which of course she used only as a reference. OK, she completely copied my work, but she always returned it on time. “Nadia I’m so happy to see you again!” exclaimed Ingrid. “I was chatting with Evelyn to invite the two of you to my party tonight to celebrate the beginning of our senior year.” I was taken aback as there would be no way that my parents would ever let me go, but Ingrid’s parties are always crawling with students and this could be the opportunity I needed to speak to Jake.  “Of course we’ll go we wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I know that I sounded desperate but this was a dire situation. The last two periods of the school day passed by in a blur. I only remember a teacher mentioning a syllabus that I couldn’t care any less about because I’m finally going to speak to my crush. 

After school, I was immediately startled by the ruckus that my parents were making in the kitchen. Both my mom and dad greeted me with a huge hug. “How was it, Nadia?” my mother asked. I of course needed to pretend like nothing was wrong so I explained everything that I learned or at least what I thought I learned that day. “I can’t believe my baby is all grown up. I really wish we could stay but we are pulling an all-nighter at the clinic for major surgeries” my dad explained. Not that I don’t want to spend time with my parents but I really don’t want to make up an excuse to attend the party. I will be home before they even come back anyway since its a school night. I am a very heavy sleeper and I can’t miss a day of school hence the multiple alarm clocks in my room. After my parents left I turned to the only person I could for my party outfit crisis. “Why exactly are we attending this party? You have always hated the idea of parties. I know how your social meter decreases quickly in public” remarked Evelyn. “Well, I thought it would be a great idea to step out of our comfort zones and experience new things!” I replied. And there it was. That look. The look that Evelyn always made when she figured out the answer to a difficult math question. “You still like Jake don’t you?” asked Evelyn. Dang, it! I can’t be subtle about this crush anymore. As we went into my room we each began to tear into my closet. We threw clothes everywhere frantically searching for the right outfit until Evelyn told me she found the one. In her hands was a beautiful black romper that I bought a thrift store and totally meant to wear for a special occasion and not because I forgot about it. OK yes, I forgot I even had it but that goes to show how important it is to raid your closet. Soon enough the both of us were dressed and ready to party. While we were waiting in the living room for our cab I suddenly realized something. We are attending a high school party. There will be drugs and alcohol. 

“Evelyn, I’ve never drunk alcohol before how am I supposed to be cool in front of Jake?”

“Wait I got an idea.” As Evelyn left the living room I stood there anxiously panicking and doubting my decision to go. When Evelyn returned she held wine glasses in one hand and my parent’s wine in the other. In a normal situation, I would have rejected this idea but I was desperate. Gosh, I guess my personality really can’t be subtle. As I chugged the wine I felt the urge to vomit all over Evelyn for suggesting this but if I could get used to drinking wine then I could handle the drinks at the party. After several minutes our cab drove us to Ingrid’s house. As you would expect her home is enormous and unsurprisingly loud. We exited the car and we entered the house with confidence that I only felt when I was prepared to take the SAT. While inside the music from the speakers made my heart vibrate but I didn’t care as long as I could find him. Evelyn, on the other hand, left to speak with her debate club friends while I left to get a beer. As I stepped into the kitchen I locked eyes with him again. I knew that this was my moment so I officially introduced myself. 

“Hello, my name is Nadia. I’m not sure if you remember me but we’ve had the same classes together before in the past.” 

“Oh right! I remember you. Weren’t you the only student to pass Mr. Clarkson’s geometry class with an A+ that year?” 

“Yep! That was me. I just tried to study as much as possible. His tests tend to be very challenging if you aren’t prepared.” He gave me this really deep look that made my heart skip a beat. I’m exaggerating but still, I was really falling for him. “I was just about to play some beer pong with a couple of friends but I need a partner. Would you like to be my partner?” I was really starting to faint. He really asked me to hang out with him. This is like my own rom-com film where I get to be the main character who finds love at a high school party.  If anything I would expect Evelyn to be the main character. She is just very outgoing. As I nodded my head we walked toward the ping pong table at the end of the hallway. On one side of the table awaited Jake’s friends Mikey and Chase who aren’t the brightest students but do know how to play beer pong I’m assuming. I immediately introduced myself to them in which they happened to know me as the student with an A+ in Mr. Clarkson’s class. I mean I’m not a scholar. I make mistakes here and there. I’ve received my fair share of A-’s in the past. As the guys prepared the table all I could look at were Jake’s eyes. He was just so wholesome. During the game, I managed to launch the ball in every single cup on the other side instantly angering Mikey and Chase who couldn’t make the ball land in one cup. Jake was absolutely thrilled of his beer pong partner of course. Soon enough one cup remained and I threw the ball which happened to land in the cup. After we were declared victorious Jake gave me a big hug. I was seriously going to faint. 

 “Wow, you are the best beer pong player ever! I’m so glad we were able to spend time together” explained Jake. 

“Thanks! I guess physics really is useful for a simple game of beer pong” I responded back. After he gave me more praise we both began drinking and drinking. We drank so much and we discussed the most random things.

Like global warming and Harry Potter. After an hour he went to the bathroom but he never came back so I went searching for him. I really missed him don’t judge me. After looking nearly everywhere I opened the bedroom to Ingrid’s room to find Jake and Ingrid kissing. I closed the door as soon as possible and fled the scene. When I turned around I saw Evelyn running after me. When I explained the situation to her she gave me a huge hug that should’ve made me feel better but it didn’t. When the cab dropped Evelyn and me back to my house I immediately sat down on the sidewalk. 

“Nadia I’m so sorry that this happened to you. You deserve someone better who can appreciate you for who you are and not what you can offer.”

“You don’t understand Evelyn! This was my chance to finally do something about my crush, to finally break out of my shell. I’m tired of being known as the student with “perfect” grades. My grades can only take me so far in life as I’m just going to be a dentist like my parents. I just wanted an adventure, a new experience before my life turns to shit! But now I realize that my life is already ruined. I have so much pressure from my “perfect” parents that I had to avoid asking them to attend the party tonight and look what happened. I can’t believe that I’m so naive that I wasted the first day of my senior year on a guy that doesn’t even like me back.” 

“Nadia!” and that was my mom’s voice. I was grounded for four weeks but it wasn’t all so bad. My parents heard my entire rant and they apologized for pressuring me to become a dentist. As for Evelyn we only relied on each other to enjoy the rest of our senior year. That first day of school was more of a reminder that I should just focus on those in my life to break out of my shell while prioritizing my education. After all, I was chosen to speak at our graduation and I knew that the first day of school would influence me to speak about how our new beginnings can be exciting even if we don’t break out of our shell enough that there will always be more opportunities to try again. With my great support system, I was able to bungee jump and attend prom. I’m afraid of people and heights. Facing my fears motivated me to take more risks and not because of a crush. Good thing I learned that the hard way. 

“Please welcome Nadia Park who would like to share a few words with us today onto the stage.”

As I walked up the steps that led to the stage my heart was beating rapidly but as soon as I locked eyes with my parents and Evelyn my nerves began to subside. I looked ahead to address the class and I commenced my speech.