Escape

The following text messages were recovered from a person working in a biological research laboratory in the Center for Disease Control to Mindy Walton, a tenth grader from Window Rock High School.  The Federal Bureau of Investigation is still investigating this top secret correspondence. Please do not post the following on any sort of social media outlet as these facts still have not been ascertained or authenticated by investigators still working this incident. The text messages have been label as follows:

CDC is the unidentified researcher from the center.

MW is the fifteen year old (soon to be sixteen) student

BE  Boyd Edwards (student’s significant other)

A5 Clean up team 5 

TRANSCRIPT begins here:

CDC:  It has escaped.

MW:  What?  I just entered this chatroom, what has escaped?

CDC:  the virus we were working on.  When I came back from the restroom, my beaker had been removed.  In several inquiries, I have still been unable to locate this sample.

MW:  Is it dangerous?

CDC:  Yes, lethal and if it leaves this building, it has the potential to wipe out most of the population of the Continental United States.

MW:  HS (translated to Holy Shit)  What can i do?

CDC:  Find it.  Time is an essence.

MW:  i’ve been grounded, so i can’t leave the house.

CDC:  Can you contact someone who could be of assistance?

MW:  i could text my boyfriend, but he’s the reason i am grounded. 

CDC:  If he can help, text him by the authority of the Center for Disease Control.

MW:  alright.  

MW:  boyd, it’s me, mindy

BE:  what’s up? 

MW: i got somebody from the cdc in a chatroom.

BE:  ns (no shit) aren’t they spies?

MW:  noooo, the center for disease control.  they play with germs and stuff.

BE:  ns

MW:  yeah, ns...they want me to find somebody to look for some ba (bad ass) germs.

BE:  haven’t seen any.  are you still grounded? 

MW:  yes, my dad is bering a rpia (Royal Pain in the Ass).

BE:  bummer, wanted to drive up to make-out point.

MW:  not tonight.  we’ve gotta find that stuff. 

BE:  i have no idea.  i’ve never seen any germs.

MW:  in mr. smith’s biology lab?  aw, you didnt do the lab did you?   

BE:  i never do.

MW:  thats why youre failing.

BE: youre right.

CDC:  We are sending out an APB on the beaker.  We must find this in the next four hours otherwise we risk Stage One contamination.  Repeat, APB on the beaker. Be sure not to handle the beaker without hazmat equipment. Once again, use extreme caution.

MW:  hs (see above translation), boyd they are calling an apb.

BE:  a what?

MW:  all points bulletin which means we have to go looking for it.  

BE:  dont know where to start.

MW:  just start looking.  Closets. Garage.

BE:  there are spider webs out there in the garage. 

MW:  this is no time for wimps.

BE:  youre right.  text you back.

MW:  luv ya. 

CDC:  Do you have any leads?  We are suspecting espionage from an outside research project.  We believe the Russians are working on a project that could wipe out all the humans living on the planet within a week.  We are contacting emergency services to prepare for armageddon.  

MW:  i have my bf looking in his garage.

CDC:  Do you think it might be there?

MW:  ive seen it & anything could be there.  they are kinda hoarders if you know what i mean. 

CDC:  Is he wearing hazmat protective gear?

MW:  knowing him, just his jeans and a hoodie & i doubt he has washed his hands in the past four hours.  gross. 

CDC:  tell him to use extreme caution, the virus is considered highly contagious and lethal.  

MW:  hes fraid of spiders.  i have to take care of them whenever we see them.  he hates icky stuff, ya know. i dont know what i see in him sometimes. 

CDC:  Alright, beaker has a label on it “Project Pandora.”

MW:  cute name.

CDC:  yeah, anyway we have alerted the president.

MW:  wow. can you forward a pic? 

CDC:  If you find the beaker, you will be on the national news shaking his hand.

MW:  cant wait to tell boyd.  Hell go nutz.

CDC: Sounds great.  Any progress to report?

MW:  i will check.

MW:  boyd, any luck?

BE:  nope, just spiders so far and this speaker i forgot i had.

MW:  if i wasnt grounded, id look in my basement.  my dad has all kinds of stuff down there. none of it works & mom wonders why he keeps it. 

BE:  can i come over and look for you?

MW:  dad would have a fit, but why not?

BE: omw (Translated: on my way)

CDC:  what is your grade?

MW:  tenth.

CDC:  ???

MW:  at Window Rock.

CDC:  Where is the location of your laboratory?

MW:  in the science wing.  wing g. its a pretty big place.

CDC:  do you have a research team?

MW:  no, but we have a football team, pka (translation:  pretty kick-ass). 

CDC:  ???

MW:  my bfs here to help me look.

CDC:  Great.

MW:  brb (Translation:  Be right back). 

There is about a forty minute lapse before the next text:

CDC:  Any luck?

MW:  Found my old easy bake oven but no beaker.

CDC:  Argh, can you keep looking?  

MW:  sure.

There is another twenty minute lapse before another transmission.  

CDC:  Any news?

MW:  good thing dad is out with his buds.  they like to play poker and tell dirty jokes. me and my bf went in the dark corner to look.  it wasnt there.

CDC:  Beginning to suspect beaker may already be on its way out of the country.

MW: is that serious?

CDC: It would be a national emergency.  Figured you’d know that.

MW:  you lost the beaker.

CDC:  Point taken.  Sorry. We are just concerned that maybe the person who took it from the lab does not know what is in the beaker.  

MW:  we have not found it.  we have searched everywhere. 

CDC:  Appreciate your efforts in the matter and remember to keep this hush hush, because we do not want to start a panic, now do we?

MW:  suppose not, but im still a little concerned, ya know.

CDC: How so?

MW: how can you lose something so important.  if I lose my homework, I get grounded. 

CDC:  Well, I’d rather not go into that now.  Our main concern is to recover the missing beaker.   Homework? How do you get homework?

MW:  teachers.

CDC: Seems once you leave college, you should be done with homework.

MW:  fraid not.

CDC: I am putting your location on the computer.  OMG (translated Oh My God) you are not a part of the CDC.

MW:  never said i was.  where did you get that idea? 

CDC:  We are sending someone to your house.  You need to be debriefed. Somehow you joined our chatroom here at the CDC.  

MW:  send someone? 

CDC:  Just routine.

MW: Not around here.  hey theres a nock on the door…

BE:  Ill see who it is.

MW:  no, idiot.

BE:  just a couple of guys in suits and shades. 

MW:  dont open the door...fool… 

BE:  too late…

CDC:  Do you have the area secure?  

A5: Yes, the citizens are subdued.

CDC:  You didn’t shoot them, did you?

A5:  Nooo, we don’t do that anymore, but they are restrained.

CDC:  Restrained how?

A5: We followed current manual procedures.

CDC: which are?

A5:  Make sure all limbs are accounted for.

CDC:  I see.  Are they able to text?

A5:  Not at all.  They are safely secured.

CDC:  No, I want them to be able to text.  I have communicated with them for over an hour.  They are just children, aren’t they?

A5: From my professional experience they appear to be children.

CDC:  Remember the last time, we got in a shitload of trouble.

A5:  (there is a several minute delay with the next transmission) yes.

CDC:  Let them go.  Just keep an eye on them.

A5:  Seems to me parents should be doing that.

CDC: No time to argue, but both parents are out and according to my data, both are of age of consent.  Untie them.

A5:  Very well.

MW: WTF (translated:  what the um...fudge) why did you send james bond?  

CDC:  We will assess the situation and make sure all is cleared.

MW:  assess?  my bf wet himself.

BE:  i have to change my shorts.

MW: in a minute.

CDC:  I am so sorry for your inconvenience.

MW: the only inconvenience is having to sit here and smell the mess.

A5:  She’s right, it does smell.

CDC:  Have your BF change his shorts.

BE:  i live a couple blocks away.  could i get a ride? 

A5:  Just had the car detailed.

CDC: Listen and listen to me closely, give him a ride to his house, pronto.

A5: Very well, your wish is my command.

CDC:  Attention, beaker has been located in the Alpha Sector.

A5: That’s my sector.

CDC:  Does not seem like your day, now does it?  We have the sector isolated and are sending a team.

A5:  Looks like my work here is done.

BE: not so fast, I still need a ride.

A5: How bout Uber?

CDC:  How about doing what you were told to do.  BF would not be in the mess he’s in if you hadn’t scared it out of him, right?

A5:  I was just doing my duty.

CDC:  And he was doing his...in his pants.

MW:  Are we free to go?

A5:  We still have to debrief in case an enemy of the state wants to interrogate you on what took place.

MW:  How could that be any worse than what you did to us?

A5: (after several minutes) I see your point.  C’mon let’s go then and remember to keep the windows open.  

According to the final report submitted by the agency one of the cafeteria workers had cleaned off the trays and through the beaker was part of a parfait and stuck it into the bus tray.  Contamination was contained and no reports of any infection to anyone in the sector. A check of the communication lines revealed that the central number was off by one digit so that the texting went out to Mindy Walton and her boyfriend Boyd Edwards who became a part of Mindy’s chat.  Future considerations for a more secure means of communication are currently being looked into by the department. All mention of the escape of the virus was instantly destroyed or buried deep in a secure vault never to see the light of day ever again.