'Believe'

I shoved those around me aside so I could run away - from everything. I escaped to the outskirts of the festival. I sat on a long, dirty bench, trying to gather my own thoughts and feelings. I cried. What have I done to deserve all this? I stared back to the celebration, but only scowled.

What are they thinking? I drowned myself in sorrow. I hate everything. Life is just so f*cking cruel.

I shed tears, but stopped when a voice had called out to me in the dark. Creepy, but somewhat, familiar.

"You are too young to be alone in this time of hour you know?" A deep comforting voice echoed from the distance.

"I don't care..."

"Danger is always imminent these days."

"So? I don't give a f*ck about what life does to me anymore."

The man inched closer and placed his hand on my shoulder. I... felt comforted somehow. A stranger? Maybe yes, maybe no...

"Let's enjoy the festival."

"I'm in the middle of breaking down right now." That somehow felt fake words coming out of my mouth just now.

"Let not your emotions take over you. Fret not to what is lost as you still have those around you."

"Then why do they have to leave? Why did they have to pass on to the next world when they could have stayed here."

"It's life, and has always been a part of it. We have to move on."

Who was he to tell me that? I'm in pain right now. Yet he still chose the right words for me to comprehend. I stared at the joy going on around me. The cheers and laughter, they helped me - somehow. I stood up, and joined him as we moved to the festival. I glanced over the food stands and heard my stomach growl.

"Do you have money?" teased the man.

"I'm no 10 year old you know?" He laughed.

"No worries. I can buy some for us." I hissed again, but smiled even so.

He bought me hotdogs. Extra dressing the way I liked it. I looked at the man. I can't make out his face. But he felt familiar.

"I have money you know."

"Think of this as a treat to help you out."

"Nothing compares to my grief."

"Let it flow, then let it go. You can't stay sad forever."

He passed me my food. I smiled, still feeling down.

"Let's eat."

"Thanks."

I felt anxious as I looked around. Fear is welling up in me, but my own selfishness took the best of me. As I cleaned my face, the man had asked me;

"Are you alone?"

"No. I'm just exploring the area without my parents."

"Why did you run off from your parents?"

"They were cheering me up. Desperately trying."

"Then at least accept their efforts."

"You don't know anything."

"Well... At least believe."

"Believe what?"

"Believe in faith. Have hope." I could make out a faint smile from his face.

While I thought about denying him. He is pushy. I just accepted those words. Believe? There ain't no such thing as miracle. I think I'm done with hope, but what other choice do I have? Ah that's right, denial. Yet his words still strung chords within me. Like those words he left me before he joined the sky.

"Do you want to check out the games?" He offered.

"Sure I guess..."

I'd gone for my favorite game at festivals. The Goldfish Toss one. It was sentimental to me, so I didn't hesitate to relive some memories. My grandpa would always take me out on festivals whenever there was one. And of course, this was his favorite game. I laughed as he got mad, thinking it was rigged. But that is nothing more than a mere memory...

I didn't do too bad I guess - still didn't get one though. So is the man I'm with. His style was just like mine.

"I never caught your name old man."

"Emanuel. You?" The same name as my grandpa had, but I'm no kid anymore to think there is such thing as doubles.

"Carlos."

"You want to find your parents now?"

"... I don't know..."

He smiled, and offered me to join him in stargazing.

Beneath the night sky, I was mesmerized by the amount of stars there is. It shone bright that I felt as if it pierced my soul.

"You know Carlos. They say that a family member is one of those stars."

"I hope that's true."

"Believe is all you have to do. Don't lose hope."

Then I looked back at him, and could see his face now. My eyes watered. My mouth is shifting to a smile.

"I should be going now. So should you."

He waved goodbye, and walked towards the busy crowd. I ran as fast as I could, my eyes could hardly focus by the amount of tears I'm pouring out. But as I retraced his footsteps, he was already gone.

In the distance, I saw my parents waving at me. Smiling while crying at the same time.

"CARLOS!" My mom cried out.

"Hey mom... hey dad..."

My mom shoved me a bit, but hugged me afterwards.

"Don't do that ever again alright?"

"Yes mom."

"You could have endangered yourself you know?"

"I know dad. I just felt so isolated and confused a while ago. But I feel better now." He patted my back.

My mom held my arm and walked to the open space to watch the fireworks. I feel exhausted, but still let out some more tears. My parents were confused, but I only smiled at them, and they did the same.

I felt ready to face life again. I felt ready to move on. I have hope now.

He'll always be by my side. I just have to believe.

I watched as explosions of light filled the sky. They had always fascinated me ever since I was a child. I only stood agape at the scene, smiled, and said;

"Good night Grandpa."