Repeated Offenses

She had ruined another relationship. Brandon had been with this girl for six months. He really liked Casey, and they recently began to discuss marriage. It had been his longest relationship and by far the healthiest. The best part of his week was spending time with Casey. They fit together and their families seemed to get along well. The relationship had been relatively smooth as they had worked out the issues that arose. That is, until his mom got involved in a situation she didn’t belong in. 

As they discussed marriage, Casey had voiced some concerns about negative behavior patterns she saw in his parents that she worried he would follow in. This stung because he had worked hard to avoid those behaviors, but he understood where she was coming from. The night after that discussion, he went to his parents to ask for advice on how to respond to Casey and they were very helpful and loving, or at least he thought. Two days later he woke up to a text from Casey reading, “Your mom just sent me this.” The text was long, filled with accusations and assumptions toward Casey that were completely false. Brandon’s blood boiled. This wasn’t the first time his mom had inserted herself via text into his relationships. Three freaking times she had inserted herself into arguments that she was not a part of, and Brandon had lost a friendship and two girlfriends because of it. This time he’d had enough.

He dialed her phone immediately.

“Hello.” His mom said

He exploded, “How could you ever send something like that to Casey. We’ve talked about this. Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. I’m an adult now, stopping treating me like a child. Stop being a jerk to my friends. Stop getting involved in my relationships. Leave me alone.”

“What I did was..”

“Don’t try to justify what you did. I hate you for this. Why can’t you let me deal with my own issues?” His anger turned to tears streaming down my face.

“Screw you, mom.” He slammed his cellphone on the bed.

He shouldn’t have done that

An hour later he received a call from his dad.

“Hey dad, look, I'm sorry…”

“Why would you abuse your mom like that? After all she’s done for you and cared for you, this is how you treat her? Maybe if your girlfriend hadn’t accused us of behaviors that we do not do, then your mom wouldn't have needed to text her.”

“Mom shouldn’t have texted her.”

“Your mom did what she needed to do. Casey should apologize.”

“Apologize for what? For concerns she had that we’re trying to work through?”

“She made assumptions about our family and slandered us.”

“No, she didn’t. They were just questions she had. She didn’t slander anybody.”

“So you’re taking her side?”

Brandon’s tone raised a notch “I’m not taking sides. Look, I’m sorry for yelling at mom. I really am. I will call her and ask for forgiveness, but what she did was uncalled for and I…”

“Your mother did what she needed to do to protect this family.”

Brandon pulled the phone from his ear and let out a long breath to curb his rising anger. 

“I don’t agree but I know that calling her and yelling at her was wrong and for that, I apologize.”

“I hope you see you are wrong in this situation.” His dad hung up.

Brandon chucked his phone across the room. Why couldn’t they get it through their thick heads that they were in the wrong? He attempted to call his mom. But she never answered the phone.

He met up with Casey a few days later, dreading a break up. He fidgeted in his seat as she opened the passenger side door of his car and sat next to him. He held his breath.

“I’m hurt by what your mom did.” She said, “but I want to work through this. I want to understand why she was so upset with me.”

“I can explain,” And he did. He explained the whole situation, “I guess I can’t trust my parents with any information anymore.” He said.

Casey let out an exasperated sigh, “I’m willing to work through this with your family cause I know it’s important to you we get along. Are they willing to work with me?”

Brandon bit his lip. He wasn’t sure. “Let me talk to them tonight and hope they want to talk it out with you.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

She turned and kissed his lips and held them there for several seconds, “We can work through this.” She said and exited the car.

She was the most wonderful woman he’d ever met.

He rehearsed in his mind what he planned to say and vowed to not raise his voice no matter where the conversation turned. His headphones in, he dialed his dad’s number.

Three rings passed and then, “Hello.”

“Hey dad, um, is mom there? Can I talk to both of you?”

A long pause, “Your mother isn’t available right now. Is Casey going to apologize?”

“She wants to meet and speak with you and mom to work through this situation.”

“Unless you and her plan to apologize for abusing your mom and me, then there’s no point in meeting.”

“We weren’t abusive. That’s not what abuse is. I got angry and said mean things to mom and already apologized for that. Casey genuinely wants for us to meet and solve this issue the right way.”

“I’m sorry, but for the next few weeks you aren’t allowed at our house. We don’t want to see you until we can heal from this attack.”

Brandon hung up before he could explode. He didn’t understand. His parents had blown this situation out of the water. They usually tried to understand him, but not this time. He screamed, falling onto his bed. What was he going to do now? He texted Casey and let her know he would still try to fix this. He refused to give up. He tried calling his mom, but she never answered, so he left her several voicemails. He texted her a long apology and even persuaded Casey to send an apology for questioning the family, but days passed without a response. 

A week later he received a text from Casey, “Your mom texted me again, it’s bad.” His heart sank as he read the message. “Dear Casey, I’m surprised that you haven’t fully apologized for all the ways you’ve hurt me and my husband in your false accusations. You seem to have a head on your shoulders, unlike Brandon, who has been abusive toward us for years. He tries to control what we say and what we do. I had every right to text you, but he continues to manipulate and control this situation. I want you to be aware of how toxic Brandon will be for you. I hope you both learn from this situation and realize how wrong you both are.”

Wow. Was he really reading a text sent by his mom? They had had their struggles, but nothing like this. For his mom to say those false things made him sick to his stomach. Tears ran down his face as he realized how serious this situation was becoming.

“Can we meet up and talk?”

“Yes.”

They sat on a bench at the park near his apartment.

“Your parents are really scaring me,” Casey said.

“I know, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I can’t be with you if your parents are going to continue to act this way.”

She was right. He wouldn’t want to date her if her family were this way. He rubbed his hand down his face and grimaced, “I love you and I don’t want to lose you.”

“I love you too, but I need you to decide.”

It was her or his family. He knew it but couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. He leaned in and gave her a bear hug, and they held each other for a while. When he pulled back, a steady stream of tears came pouring down his face. “Let me have today to think on this and then I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry to do this to you,” She didn’t look at him.

“I understand.”

He walked home, broken.

He always wanted a marriage where the families liked each other and spent time together. That afternoon was agony. He knew he would choose Casey. That she gave him so many chances to make the situation right, made him fall more in love with her. She was more willing to compromise than his parents were. That truth stung. They were loving, hospitable people and he couldn’t understand why this had escalated so drastically. He probably never would. The clock struck 9 PM, and he knew he had to call his parents.

He dialed his dad’s number, wiped his sweaty palms across his comforter and took in a deep breath. 

“Hello.”

“Hey, dad.”

“Are you ready to apologize?”

Brandon’s heart ached too much for him to be angry, “Can you try to see my side and why mom’s actions were wrong?”

“Son, both me and your mom suggest you get therapy for your problems. Your negative, abusive behavior is going to ruin your life and your relationships.”

His parents would never understand. They refused to understand.

“I’m cutting you and mom out of my life from this night forward until you can acknowledge that what you did was wrong and apologize to me and Casey for the false things you said about us.” His voice trembled.

“You need help son, get it before it’s too late.”

A coldness overcame Brandon. Did his dad even care about him? Did his parents even love him anymore? 

“I love you, dad, and I love mom, please tell her that. Maybe one day we’ll be able to connect again.” He hung up the phone, curled up on his bed, and let the tears flow.