Clocks and Spoons

“Well… I mean this, Jim. I mean, I don’t know what I want to say. I want to say that. And I wanna say something else—that this stuff makes me funny… makes me feel funny… like my feet, Jim. Look at ‘em. I see my feet and legs and hands and arms leading up to my body and neck and it keeps going up and up into what you says is my head, but I don’t feel nothin’… And look at all these colors! Are you seeing this? Please say something. Cause if it’s not really there then I oughta get to worrying, eh Jim?... I’m hallucinating rain.”

“It’s raining.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Walk it off and take your word. Keep thinking. You just stay right-over-there and sit. And I’ll do the thinking and the walking if you don’t mind cause the damn things don’t fit… alright… my damn boots—they aren’t my own… Jim? Is it raining?”

“Feels it, don’t it?”

“Well… if you feel it too. If you feel it too… Jim?”

“What?”

“Are they done yet?”

“Who?”

“The bees.”

“No… not yet.”

“Been some time now.”

“Yes.”

“And what is the time?”

“You’re the one with the watch.”

“… Half past four, I’d say.”

“It say, or you say?”

“The watch, Jim.”

“Then who gives a damn what you say?”

“If I never said you wouldn’t know.”

“I’d kill you and take the watch. “

“Don’t put me on a bummer.”

“Well, are you?”

“If you keep talking like that.”

“Then drop it.”

“It’s just you saying those things. “

“Then why not keep up the walking? Take your mind off it.”

“I’ll… yes! I’ll do exactly that, Jim.”

“…………… What was it that you said earlier?”

“How’s that, Jim?”

“The thing you said.”

“You mean what I just said?”

“Before then.”

“What was it?”

“I’m asking.”

“I never said anything. What makes you think I said it?”

“We’re the only ones here.”

“Right.”

“In the morning. That’s probably when. I’m sure of it.”

“Must’ve been ‘bout breakfast.”

“No. Not that.”

“Over breakfast.”

“Maybe.”

“But not about it.”

“Nothing about it.”

“Must’ve really been something that something I said.”

“It was.”

“So, you remember it?”

“No.”

“Then who cares?”

“It was important. Why else would I remember?”

“I remember all kinds of pointless things.”

“It wasn’t just something.”

“Something’s all it could’ve been.”

“Maybe something you say often.”

“Bout breakfast?”

“No.”

“………. What was yesterday?”

“How do you mean, Jim?”

“Was it Wednesday?”

“That’s today.”

“You’re sure about it?”

“It is.”

“Why?”

“Cause I said so. Today’s Wednesday, and yesterday Tuesday, which makes tomorrow Thursday when we leave forever…… Is it the bees that made you think of it? Never said a thing about ‘em. Wouldn’t know what to say. No… some neighbor I had was an apiarist. He’d have something to say, but he was over the cliff. No use in asking him… was it the bees, Jim, that’s made you think?”

“Think of what?”

“Of what you thought I said.”

“No.”

“You might be losing it.”

“I’m not.”

“Saw that neighbor of mine lose it. Straight over the cliff, he was. Thought he saw faces coming out of the tall grass. Explained every detail of how they looked, things they said, what they did to him… but he never knew how to read. Right fucking div he was—not a perfect example, but he thought he remembered demons in the same way you remember me saying something worth anything at all.”

“I’m not seeing demons.”

“Give it time, Jim… was it me that reminded you of it?”

“No. “

“And it wasn’t the bees?”

“No.”

“Must be the walking then.”

“It’s not.”

“Damn things won’t fit.”

“It’s not your boots.”

“Got ‘em off me uncle. And his feet aren’t mine. So, maybe that’s it.”

“It’s not the boots!”

“Then what’s made you think it?”

“Cause I got to thinking.”

“Too much of that ain’t good for a young man.”

“Lemme be.”

“You know’s what’s good with thinking, Jim? Drinking. Why don’t you ‘ave a sip, Jim.  Just ah heel tap.”

“I don’t want any.”

“Then maybe I will.”

“You don’t need it.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I said.”

“Well I say life is life and kind is kind and the rest just feels like drowning.”

“Yes! Yes! That was it!”

“What was what?”

“Over breakfast.”

“What?”

“The thing you said. But that wasn’t the ending. What was the last bit?”

“Of what I said over breakfast?”

“Yes!”

“Life is life and kind is kind… and… and the sun’ll shine another day. Yeah?”

“That’s it! Now what’s it all mean?”

“Absolutely nothing… I don’t know… The ending changes, only I hate that one.”

“Why?”

“Cause I said.”

“…………. The bees might be done by Thursday.”

“By when?”

“Tomorrow.”

“You’re sure it’s tomorrow?”

“Oh, yes. Nothing carries on that long.”

“I mean you’re sure it’s Thursday?”

“It’s Wednesday, Jim.”

“You’re sure tomorrow’s Thursday?”

“Not a bit.”

“But you said it’s Wednesday.”

“Could be.”

“We leave Thursday. We agreed on it.”

“I know. “

“Well, what if today’s Thursday?”

“It’s not.”

“But how do you know?”

“I’m not dead and the bees haven’t finished the old in-out.”

“I’m not talking about the bees.”

“I’m talking about the bees.”

“What’s that have to do with it?”

“It’s right there. Look at ‘em.”

“What’s that have to do with it?”

“With what?”

“What day it is!

“……… You think they know we’re watching? The bees.... I mean, the old in-out won’t last till Thursday, Jim. Things gotta get on.”

“You’re right.”

“The family, I mean.”

“The mail.”

“Dog food.”

“Piano lessons.”

“Life and all.”

“Taking their time though…”

“Ah fuckin’ drag… they oughta get on with it… Unless they’re making love, Jim. Taking their damn time making love.”

“Bee’s too small to love.”

“How so?”

“Too small to have a mind.”

“You oughta be shot saying things like that.”

“They fly and fuck and die.”

“And make honey.”

“And that. And that.”

“Jim, you strikes me as ornery… but anyhoo… how bout another? Just for the watching, eh Jim? A nice pint. I’ll grab it from inside. Don’t mind me. I’ll squeeze right past. One foot at a time. Excuse me, darling boy. Watch my feet, one then the other… it’s… Jim?........ Did I step on ‘em?”

“Yes?”

“Are they dead?”

“Yes.”

“Both or just the one?”

“Both.”

“I didn’t see em, Jim… I didn’t see ‘em. I swear.”

“It’s only bees.”

“They’re still there where they were, Jim.”

“They’re dead.”

“Is that really what’s inside them?... They weren’t fast enough, Jim… Kind is kind, and the bees weren’t fast with the old in-out.”

“I don’t remember that being the ending.”

“It is, Jim. It is.”