Slimy

Vick leaned back in his chair and yawned. It was a slow day in the car lot. Maybe it was the economy, maybe it was his bad reputation. Either way, it didn’t matter. There was always some sucker looking for a super cheap car, no questions asked. He did well enough.

Minus the times a customer returned. It was never a good thing when someone came back to this place, and today was no exception. Vick watched as the old woman he sold to a few weeks ago came hobbling angrily through his door. She looked around until she spotted him and scowled as she approached his desk.

“I need to talk with you!” She shouted.

“In the market for another car?” He asked in his best sales voice. 

“Another?!” She said incredulously. “Not after what happened with this one.”

“Oh, my,” he laid the concern on thick in his voice, “what happened?”

“I was driving yesterday and the rear wheel fell off the car!” She shouted. “I don’t mean ‘came loose’, I mean actually fell away from the damn axle! It’s all rusted through!”

He shook his head and tsked. “That’s such a shame. I’m more than happy to help you find a new car. Tell you what, I’ll even give a ten percent discount for your troubles.”

“I want a refund!”

As much of a hassle as angry customers were, this really was his favorite part of the job. If there was anything Vick was good at, it was covering his bases. He put on his most sympathetic face.

“Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but that’s not possible,” he said professionally. “I’m afraid your contract clearly states this.”

“The wheel fell off!” She shouted again.

“We make it very clear ‘all vehicles are pre-owned and the seller holds no liability for any defects or damages that may be present during or after the sale.’ Everything is sold ‘as is’ and our customers are made aware of this fact. If you noticed problems we do have a ‘one-week return policy for any serious complications with the vehicle’, but I’m afraid you didn’t return in time,” Vick tidied up some papers on his desk as he finished his spiel.

The woman looked dumbfounded, they always did. The truth was, no one ever got their money back from him. Half of the people were so excited to get a cheap car that they never even read the contract. He’d be surprised if half of them could even read. The ones that did read it were usually in such a tight spot they were willing to take the risk just to have something to drive. When they came storming in and hollering for money back he simply stated the terms of the contract. A few threatened legal action, but he knew they couldn't afford it. After all, you don’t buy a discounted, used car because you have extra money for lawyers.

The woman glared at him. He wasn’t looking at her, but he felt it burning into him. Suddenly, she laughed. He glanced up. A big smile filled her face.

“You slimy bastard. You tricked me,” she said with a chuckle. “Well, you want to play dirty? Fine. You happened to have the bad luck of swindling a witch. Yes, an actual witch.

Today is the day all your slimy, sneaky actions finally catch up with you. I know this can’t be the only place in your life that you use them. I'm putting the curse of threes on you. Three. It only takes three times, then you will embody what you truly are. Slimy. Have a nice day.”

She spat at him, hitting his eye. He cringed a bit as she hobbled back out the door. Crazy old bat, but she did have a good aim. He wiped his eye with a tissue. Just as he finished the bell on the door dinged again. A young lady he sold a car to about a week ago. Great, another one. He glanced at the calendar. He sold to her a week and two days ago, easy brush off.

“You!” She cried, tears already forming in her eyes. “I need my money back! The car you sold me broke down.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it’s not possible,” He started again, “You see-”

“No, you see!” She interrupted. “I just got a job, I have a baby to feed. I already barely make enough as is, I don’t have the money for something new and I need a way to get to work! Thanks to your broken-down junk I’ve already been late twice. If I’m late again I’ll lose my job!”

“Have you tried carpooling?” He asked casually.

She picked up his nameplate and threw it at him angrily. He easily ducked it. Tears started flowing down her cheeks, she began sobbing, Vick smiled as she ran out.

He felt a sharp pain in his head suddenly, the room spun, but it went away as quickly as it started. He shook it off. Vick stretched and looked at the clock. Time to leave already? What a day.

He packed up his desk and locked up before getting in his car and driving off. It was Thursday. That was the day the lot closed early. His wife, Paula, thought it was to do filing and bookkeeping. His girlfriend, Jenny, thought he was doing it because he was “so busy” and that was the only time they could spend together.

Only an hour, but long enough to “romance her” before he hit it at a motel and quit it back to his wife. He pulled up at the usual coffee shop and went inside. Instead of his young little side-piece, he was met with two angry women. Paula and Jenny were sitting together, scowling as they saw him. His heart sank a bit. What happened? Paula stood up and walked over to him. She calmly extended her hand, she had his cell phone. Did he forget it at home? She put on a sweet smile as he took it.

“Jenny called,” she said simply. “She was hoping you could go somewhere nicer today, but I convinced her to meet in your usual spot. Feel free to spend the night tonight, and every night. I even packed your bags for you.”

She gave him a malicious smile before walking out the door. He glanced at the table. Jenny was still scowling. A couple of his suitcases sat near her. Damn, Paula was serious.

Well, he knew he couldn’t keep playing this game forever. Paula was a real beauty once, but she'd definitely let herself go over the years. It was fine. He’d smooth talk Jenny a little and make do with the situation. He was adaptable.

“Jen, baby,” He said smoothly.

“You lied to me,” she hissed at him.

He sighed. “You’re right, and you have every reason to be mad, but I only did it because I’m crazy about you. I fell for you the moment I saw you. I wanted to divorce Paula, I really did. I was just scared, but everything will be okay now.”

He sat across from her. He put his hand over hers. She stayed silent, but she didn’t move it. He gave her his most charming smile.

“Look, now that she’s gone we can start our life together. We’ll head on over to your place tonight and tomorrow I’ll take you somewhere real nice to celebrate.”

She gave a small smile and motioned for him to move closer. He did, she leaned next to his ear.

“You talk like the sleazy car salesman you are,” she whispered.

She stood up and dumped her coffee on his suitcases before smirking at him and walking out. He sat there in shock. Guess she wasn’t as much of a dumb bimbo as he thought. He sighed and looked at his coffee-soaked suitcases. 

Another sharp pain hit him. This time his chest ached. A heart attack? No, it passed again quickly. What was wrong with him today? Maybe it was stress. He worked too hard.

He sighed and grabbed the wet bags. Motel tonight, he’d make a plan tomorrow. This was the first time he cheated (that Paula knew about anyway), he’d try to sweet-talk her tomorrow. After all, she was already forty, what options did she have?

His car squeaked up to the greasy motel he and Jenny used to go to. It was a ‘no questions asked’ kind of place, so no one said anything about him being alone. He dumped his bags in the room. It was a cheap place, but clean. He flopped down on the bed. Today wasn’t going well. He lost his wife, his house, his mistress, and he didn’t get laid.

He flipped around the TV channels for a bit. Nothing good was on. It was then that he noticed a faint sobbing sound. A kid? No, he recognized that sound from work. A desperate woman. A smile filled his face. Maybe today would be a good day, nothing was an easier lay than a woman in need of comfort and understanding. He was more than fine being some girl’s morning regret.

He peeked out the door. A middle-aged woman was crying quietly on the curb. She was a little heavy but okay looking. Good enough for tonight. Vick opened the door and sat next to her, she seemed surprised.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Is everything alright?”

She sobbed a little more and shook her head. He had to hold back from smiling. She couldn’t even talk, beyond easy. He scooted a little closer.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

She shook her head again. Vick waited. He knew she’d talk about it anyway, they always did, the ‘no’ was more of a formality. Sure enough, after a moment she took a shaky breath and looked at him.

“Am I really that unattractive?” She asked weakly.

A self-esteem issue! The desperate woman jackpot. He put his arm around her shoulder and shook his head.

“God, no! You’re beautiful,” He said, sounding shocked. “Who made you think that?”

She just shook her head again. She sniffled and looked at the ground. He squeezed her shoulder gently. Time for the hook. Comfort and understanding.

“Look, I don’t know what happened, but I can’t just leave you here like this,” he said sweetly. “Why don’t you come to my room? Don’t worry, I’m not expecting anything, but you can warm up with a cup of coffee until you feel better.”

She looked at him and gave him a slight smile. She nodded and stood up. He smiled and led her into his room. Too easy. He closed the door and she sat on the edge of his bed. He’d have her out of her panties within the hour. 

He handed her a cup of coffee and sat next to her on the bed. She was still crying, but just barely. He reached over and put his hand on her knee. Simple, comforting. Her face was a mix of caution and need. He leaned in.

He stopped though because another sharp pain suddenly radiated through his body. This one was stronger than the others, and unlike the others, it didn’t go away. The pain grew stronger and stronger, burning through him. He screamed out in agony. The woman looked horrified.

“Are you okay?!” She cried.

He couldn’t even respond. He fell to the floor. He felt his body shrinking into itself. His arms and legs retracted into his body, he felt his flesh sinking as his bones melted away into nothing, the world grew larger around him until he sunk inside of his shirt. Only darkness surrounded him. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the pain stopped. He saw a small light ahead of him and crawled towards it. As he exited he heard a woman shriek. He looked up.

The woman from before was still there, but this time she was giant. She stared down at him in horror. She dropped her coffee, it splashed over the floor like a tidal wave. Her steps thundered around him like an earthquake as she ran from the room. He tried to reach out, to ask her what was wrong, but he had no arms, he had no anything. Panicked he crawled toward where the coffee had pooled around in a puddle.

As he leaned over the dark brown liquid horror filled him. A slimy slug stared back at him from the puddle. He tried to scream but no sound would exit his body. All around him he heard the old woman’s laugh echoing as her voice chanted: Slimy, slimy, slimy!