I Know You Love Me

You know that I love you. I love you to the moon and back, or to the farthest reaches of the universe. I love you so much. And I'm reminded of how much I love you every time I walk along these lonely beaches. No matter how many people line the shore, no matter how many children splash in the waves, I am always reminded that I love you...and I am alone. I bury my toes in the hot sand, trying to shield my feet from the burning sensation. Maybe I should just let the pain wash over me. Maybe it will dull the aching I feel in my heart every time I walk along this beach. You know that I miss you.

My dress flutters in the breeze and I clasp my hands together tightly. Why did you have to leave? Everything we had was so perfect. Granted nothing in life is perfect, but when I was with you, you made me feel like there was nothing bad in this world. With you, anything was possible. But, now...you're gone. And everything is impossible again.

I know it wasn't your fault. I don't even know why I come back to this place. To remind myself of the terrible pain of an aching, broken heart. I wish I could have saved you. It wasn't your fault...there was a storm, and I know you tried so hard to fight. You tried so hard. And the ocean. It took you from me, and I couldn't save you.

I miss you, and I love you. I still don't understand why I torment myself by facing this churning sea of death. It taunts me, waves lap gently against the shore and beg me to walk in and submerge myself. Maybe I should do it. Maybe if I go under the water, I'll find you there. And then we can be together again my love. Maybe that's why I keep coming back, because I'm tempted to follow you in and be with you again.

The hateful sea beckons me like a siren with a song of pain and lies. I know I will not find you under those waves. I know I shouldn't search for you, or wait for you, or follow you into the depths.

I bite my lip and a tear rolls down my cheek. I sink to the sand beneath me, and small waves roll onto the shore mere inches away. I reach out my hand and touch the cold wet sand. I dig my fingers in and grab a fistful, and slam it into the small crater I scooped it from. Tears now stream down my face. I know it wasn't your fault, but it just hurts so much to not have you here anymore.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to look behind me, with teary, sorrowful eyes. A woman looks down at me, a concerned expression stretched across her face. She sees my pain and squeezes my shoulder the slightest bit harder with her fingers.

"Miss, are you alright?" She looks over my face for an answer, "Are you hurt miss?"

I look back helplessly into her eyes, knowing she cannot understand my torment. I reach up to grab hold of the arm that holds me, and my pain spills over.

"He left me alone," I blurt out through my tears, "It wasn't his fault, but he's...gone! He's gone and I'm all alone and it hurts so bad to be without him..."

I turn my gaze back to the water and I stare at the horizon. I watch for a moment, as a wave engulfs that fine line, then crashes to reveal it yet again. My heartbeat quickens and I stand, pulling the woman's hand off my shoulder. I run into the cold, merciless waves. I run until the water laps at my thighs and I can no longer run properly. I sink down to my knees again, this time, the water threatens to submerge me completely. I stare at the foaming sea that lies inches below my eyes. another tear slides down my cheek and I let out a long, strained breath. I begin to lower myself into the water.

The water bites at my lips, delivering a cold empty kiss of death. However, before I can sink any further, I glance upwards to see a wave crest right over me. I open my mouth to yell, only to suck in a mouthful of stinging saltwater. The wave rolls me, and shoves me hard into the sand below. The pressure pushes against my chest and I strain to fight my way towards the surface.

Air. I crave air. My lungs ache and saltwater is burning my throat. I push my arms up and down, fighting to swim upwards. I seem to be getting close, but my lungs are screaming for a chance to breathe. My love...why is the ocean so merciless? The corners of my vision start to fade, and the world begins to go dark. But as suddenly as the blackness starts, I feel my head slammed hard onto wet sand. The wave rolls off of me and I suck in a deep breath and a few drops more of saltwater, which heightens the pain of my already burning throat. I open my eyes, blinking in the bright light. I see the sun.

A shadow then blocks the light. It's the woman from before. She pushes my wet hair from my face and asks me if I'm ok. I nod and turn to see more people staring and walking towards me. I sit up and cough out a few drops of water.

"I'm alright Ma'am, I just got rolled by a wave" I look up the the kind woman, "I'm really alright, I'm sorry if I scared you"

The woman nods slowly, and after double checking me to make sure I was ok, she stands up, addresses the small crowd around me, and then walks back to her family. The rest of the people follow suit, murmuring as they walk away. I exhale slowly, trying to ignore my frantically beating heart. I look back out at the ocean, then quickly turn my gaze down. I draw in a short sharp gasp as my eyes fall upon something that lies close to me. It's a shell, in the perfect shape of a heart.

I reach down to pick it up, and slowly I raise my eyes back to the water. I have found you my love. I stand slowly and grasp the heart shell in both hands. I know now. You sent the wave, you were telling me to not give up, and to keep going. And then you sent me the shell to tell me you love me. I turn from the waves and begin to walk away. However, I know that I will return, and now I know why as well. Because I know that I am not alone, and you are with me when I walk beside the sea. And I know, that you love me too.