The Interview

There is a wrinkle on the skirt. How the hell did that happen. Fuck, this could cost me. What are you even saying? Not like you could change. Your fat ass does not fit into anything else; you pig. 

Hold back the tears. You need to do well on this interview. 

Like you can. Why even come? Lets back out. No I can’t back out. But if- 

No. I have to go in. 

Taking a deep breath, Analitz walked into the building and straight to the receptionist, all while forcing a smile on her face. 

“You need something?”, the receptionist asked without looking up. 

See, she can’t even look at your ugly face. Speak up will you? 

“Yeah, I have an interview with Mr. Wisp.” 

“That way”, the receptionist pointed to a corridor with many doors. 

“Thanks.” 

But I don’t know what door. What if I ask? You can’t ask you idiot. They will see how much of a fool you are! But I don’t know the way. You will never be successful. Just leave already. No, keep walking. Just stop thinking. Look, someone coming our way. Ask! 

Analitz looked up to see a young man walking her way. 

“Excuse me…”, Analitz quiet down as she realized the man did not pay attention to her at all. 

You can’t even do that right. Fucking loser. I have to keep looking. Is it even worth it? I can’t find the place. I can’t find the right door. I can’t find the place. How the hell do I find the place? Please, someone, help me find the place. 

Oh no, that wrinkle of the skirt. People are definitely noticing it. Is my skirt too short? I must look like a slut. Like anyone would notice with how ugly I am. 

Analitz jumped a little when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see a young woman with caring eyes look at her. 

“Honey, are you lost? Need help?” 

“I do. Sorry, could you tell me where Mr. Wisp’s office is at?” Breath in, breath out. Breath in…. 

“Oh sure. It’s the last door at the end of this hallway. Look, the doors have names on them. That should make it easier for you.” 

Stupid. I am so stupid. How did I not notice that? 

“Thank you for your help”, Analitz smiled once more and quickly started to walk to the door at the end of the hallway. 

The names were right there on your face. So frustrating. But anyone can make that mistake. No, not really just me. I did not notice the big plates with names on them. 

Okay, I have to focus on getting there and the interview now. 

Loser, loser, loser…Great. 

Analitz walked to Mr. Wisp’s door. She pulled down on her skirt which refused to go down any more than it was already. The watch on her wrist showed her that she was five minutes early, at least she was not late. 

Come on, knock already. You will be late if you just stare at the door. No, stop, don’t knock yet. Everything has to be perfect. You forgot to check your hair. But if you go now you will be late. I forgot to check my make up too. Did I overdo it, or not enough? Ugh…no time. I have to go in already. 

Before she could knock, the door opened itself. Mr. Wisp looked at her and smiled. “You must be Anabets Losamo”, he said as he extended his hand to her. She took it and tried not to tremble. 

“Analitz.” 

Oh God, why did you correct him? You are fired. Not even hired and you are done for. 

“Sorry about that. But come in. Sit down. Would you like some water?”, Mr. Wisp asked as Analitz sat herself. 

Say yes. Don’t be rude. Wait, but it could be that you are asking for too much. Not like you paid or worked for that water. It is just fucking water. It is a courtesy. Don’t take it, what if you spit it out? 

“Yes, please.” 

Why did you say yes? Too late to back. Just take it and don’t choke on it! 

Analitz kept her stare down as Mr. Wisp sat himself opposite to her. She looked up once he handed her the water bottle. 

Make eye contact but don’t be awkward about it. You have to blink. Wait, not that much. Just be natural. How the hell can I be natural? 

“ So lets get down to business, shall we? I saw your application and I am amazed with your resume.” 

Amazed? He is just being nice to you. Remember that time you got a B and you could tell your mom was disappointed at you? Why are you even thinking of that. But just her face of disappointment. 

“Todays interview will consist of only two questions. That’s all. Your answers will determine if you are a good fit for the company.” 

Just two questions? Okay, I memorized. Damn, I can’t remember everything. I hope he doesn’t ask what about that specific procedure I can’t remember the name to. But what can he ask? 

“First question, should be an easy one. Tell me three positive thing about yourself”, Mr. Wisp smiled at her and waited for her answer. 

What the hell am I suppose to say? There is nothing. What if…no. Nothing. What can I say. I have to lie. I don’t know what to say. Say something. Make it up. Nothing. No. You suck. 

“I am able to multi-task in a way that I can determine what should be prioritized and yet get all tasked completed within the given time frame”, Analitz answered. 

“That’s a good one.” 

Couldn’t be more generic. 

“I am able to adapt quickly to new situations. Whether this be working with people, working individually, or a change in the work environment.” 

What the hell does that even mean? Where did I even think that up? What else? Will you say you won the math contest in eight grade? 

“I also have leadership skills. On my previous job I was in charge of my team. We got the highest scores within our company”, Analitz felt herself breath again. 

Good, we got over the positive once. Ha, leadership. Like that one project in university that no one but you worked on. Why would you even mention such skill if you are not able to actually do it? 

“Those are good. It’s all right to be nervous. Everyone gets nervous on job interviews.” 

Oh no. He noticed. I’m nervous. What do I do? Calm down. Get your shit together. Wait for the next question. 

“Sorry, I am a little nervous.” 

“No worries. But now, could you tell me two negative things about yourself?” 

Easy. I am dumb, stupid, clumsy… Do I need to continue? Idiot, inconsistent, sad, annoying. 

“When doing teamwork, I tend to want to tell everyone what they should be doing. It is something I have been working on. Sometimes there is need for a leader, and even if there is one, I don’t always have to be it.” 

Slut, scaredy cat, inept, ugly… 

“I also tend to be very stubborn.” 

Mr. Wisp looked at her with a little confusion, “That is an interesting one. Can you explain?” 

“When I do something. I like to do it right. When I don’t know how to do it, I don’t stop until I figure it out. Sometimes that means I ignore other things or forget to ask for help when I need it.” 

There was silence for a moment. Analitz watched nervously as Mr. Wisp took out some papers and started to write down some notes. He stamped some and singed some others. He made some faces that she could not decipher but he never looked up. 

Well, he did not like you. What did you expect? Only two questions and you managed to get them wrong. 

Why is he so quiet. Say something! I know I was not hired. Just tell me already please! Is there a tiny little chance I got hired? No. But tell me already. 

“Here”, Mr. Wisp handed her some papers, “You are hired. The job is yours if you want it. You just need to sign-“ 

Surprised, Analitz interrupted him, “I’m hired? Really?” 

“Yes. The questions were just a formality really. You had the job since you walked in. Like I said, your application was exceptional. My mind was made up even before you showed up.” 

Wow 

“If you want the job, it’s yours. You just need to sign some papers and we will talk some more next week when you start.” 

“Oh, yes. I do want the job and thank you so much”, Analitz smiled. 

“No, thank you. You will make an amazing asset for our company.” 

Analitz signed some papers while they discussed a meeting time in order to start her job. Once done signing papers Mr. Wisp walked her to the door and she thanked him once more. 

She started to walk away and could still feel the smile on her face. If she could, she would jump and scream out in happiness. She managed to get the job. 

See, that wasn’t so hard.