A Tale of a Top Dude!

Somewhere, somewhen, Ronnie arrived in the world in the usual way. He was a shy, reticent, colonial boy. He was born and raised in his beachside town of "By-the-Sea." Ronnie was born to poor, but concerned, parents.

This young lad toddled off to the education system, all the while hearing stories of the great whaling days of the old timers. He proceeded smoothly through his schooling, and often went down to the bays. There he swam and saw beached and stranded whales.

Ronnie was learning then about the many theories why the whales were dying in larger numbers, and why the bays were filled with soft plastic wastes. In his Science lessons, Ronnie and the other students all learnt about the reasons why such beached whales were starving for their traditional foods. Their bellies were filled with plastic supermarket bags, wet wipes, and bits of polystyrene.

Ronnie studied hard, and achieved an "A" in his Science subjects. "Nothing wrong with colonial brains!" his teacher said, so proud of Ronnie's devotions to ecology. "Have you thought about university?" the teacher asked him, her face smiling.

Ronnie's parents had never had such educational advantages. But he won scholarships and set off to the city, to specialize in biochemistry. Gaining his PhD, Ronnie immersed himself in a little laboratory, acquiring funding for his ivory tower.

He was born to church people. So Ronnie prayed for God's guidance for his faith-based abilities in his chosen field of becoming an eco-warrior. He rarely returned to By-the-Sea, he was in the city now. His theories took him far and wide across the planet, to investigate the soft plastic pollution.

Plastic was everywhere. Timeless, pervasive, permeating, virtually eternal. What could Ronnie do? He put his colonial brain to better use, and got creative. "Aha," he thought one day, "this might be my solution." Perhaps he alone could solve the enigma of plastic, as the seas of the world were foundering.

Ronnie sat back one day, saying, "Hello, coffee." He had stopped buying his caffeine intake in a plastic takeaway cup. This was it, interdimensional anti-plastic munchers, each custom designed to consume plastic and turn it into oxygen molecules. From micro particles of plastic to large blobs of soft plastic bags, his anti-plastic munchers could overcome.

It was time to mass produce his invention. Ronnie applied for a government grant, from the ever stingy powers that ran his land. He had to overcome his shyness, but he was a man on a mission. Success! Soon his wild colonial land was employing many citizens in producing anti-plastic munchers in assorted sizes. God was guiding Ronnie's inventive brain, and his talents for designing something new.

"It is never too late," Ronnie advised his eco warriors. Daily now, reports were arriving in this colonial land of the vast genocide museums, the oceans of the world. Day by day, more and more species were becoming extinct. So, the shy, reticent colonial lad released to the world his anti-plastic munchers.

There was magic in the air within a reasonably short space of time. Plastic products were being turned into oxygen, and world became once again, a lovely place. Slowly, slowly, but things turned around. Humans round this vast planet of once teeming life forms, could not believe this latest invention of an enigma of an inventive brain. True, some things had altered forever. From that, there might be no turning back.

But Ronnie and his invention had filled the world with hope again. People could breathe easier these days, as the oxygen molecules redressed the global warming. Young uns were inspired by Ronnie, as they wondered what they could invent too. What else could they all be doing?

Yes, it was like magic. Ronnie was no longer a face in the crowd. He found it all very embarrassing, but worth it. Ronnie was awarded great humanitarian prizes, including his very own electric powered sports car. He casually accepted the Nobel Peace Prize, for his noble achievement. Tributes flowed. Being a shy boy, he hid in his laboratory, and withdrew into abstract thoughts. He was still very pleased. After all, hadn't his early teacher told him there was nothing wrong with colonial brains?

Wishing for break from the city lifestyle, Ronnie drove down the highways for a nostalgic tour of his hometown, By-the Sea. His parents were thankful to see him again, they were no longer so poor. Thanks to Ronnie, of course. Their golden haired shy boy finished his lunch, and drove to the township.

He parked by the little library in the center of town. Soon, he was being welcomed by happy, smiling oxygenated faces. The future generations of young lads gathered around Ronnie's smarts sports car, and cheered. Even Ronnie could not resist smiling for once, this was a special day in all their lives.

In the background, there was the blue, sparkling bay, where whales used to beach themselves on the golden sands. Amazing, now the whales were revived, refreshed. They breached in the waves, sporting and leaping, flukes flying. They were showing off their calves, that was their next generations of behemoths.

Giants of the sea, the whales sang in harmony. Here, in By-the-Sea, all was going well in that little corner of the colonial world. The anti-plastic munchers, interdimensional, were still hard at work, still going. One young lad clapped his hands, and gave Ronnie a small palm tree in a terracotta pot. (Not plastic). His friends clapped.

"Thank you! It's just what I wanted," Ronnie told the young boy. This lad asked Ronnie, as his hopped in his car. "What's next"" Ronnie had already had another creative thought. "I know, I am going to write the world's first whale-human dictionary, so you grow up talking to the whales!" At that, everyone in the street of this little town yelled approval, and waved. The young lad was impressed. "Great idea. You are one top dude!"

The hometown hero drove home to his folks, considering in the palm tree on the car seat next to him. He polished his imaginary halo, and said his own hosanna.No biggies, nothing wrong with his colonial brain.

So that was never going to be the end, of a tale of a top dude!