Four

           TW: Suicidal Thoughts

           The woman had just woken up, feeling the cold concrete touching her soft skin, the gritty feeling of the floor rubbing against her legs, leaving them slightly sore. She gets up, feeling her surroundings, she notices that she’s been stripped down to her underwear, while also being chained to the wall inside that room.

           - Help! Somebody help me! – She screams.

           Her voice echoes through the dark corridor in front of her, her body aches. She spent a couple more seconds screaming for help until she came to the realization:

           - That’s useless…

           She tries to get up, but the chains hold her tight to the ground, making her unable to remove her legs from the floor. The more she struggled to move, the more and more her legs became bruised by the concrete floor.

           Suddenly, she starts to hear footsteps coming from the corridor, her first instinct is to scream, but she quickly covers her mouth, thinking that maybe the one behind this was the one coming. And as the shadowy figure enters the scene, she manages to decipher the characteristics of that person, a young man, probably around his late twenties, wearing a pair of jeans and a white shirt, buttoned almost up to his neck. What draws her attention is the perfectly clean, snow-white pair of sneakers the man’s wearing.

           As he approaches, even more, she manages to see that he’s holding two plates. He crouches near her and leaves a plate somewhere she could reach. The plate has peas, grilled fish, and some potato mash, adorned by a fancy golden spoon.

           - Eat up. – Said the man.

           He then proceeds to sit down and start eating from the other plate, using a spoon as well.

           The woman looks at the man, confused by what had just happened, and after regaining her notion of what was happening, she asks:

           - Why am I here?

           The man stops eating and looks up, makes eye contact with the woman, and goes back to eating from the plate.

           - Let me go! – She screams.

           The man simply looks at her again and says:

           - Eat up.

           The woman proceeds to make countless questions, but they do nothing but ricochet against the wall and come back to fill in the silence that existed between the chewing sound that came from the man.

           The man finishes eating and as he gets up the woman starts to bombard him with insults.

           - Do you know who I am?! If the police find you out, you’re as good as dead! – She says.

           The man reaches for the full plate of food that was left for her, and without making eye contact, he mumbles:

           - Of course, I do.

           He gets up, leaves out a smile, and turns back to the corridor. And as he walks through it the figure slowly disappears once again in the darkness.

           The woman was still stunned by what had just happened.

           - He knows me… How? – She thought.

           The lights then suddenly went down, leaving the room completely pitch-black. The woman tries to figure out a way to escape, but with the lights off it seems impossible to do anything.

           She starts to worry about the man coming back so she lies down while also staying alert for any sounds, but as the hours start to pass by, she can’t help but fall asleep.

***

           When she finally wakes up, she sees that the lights are up again, and once more, she hears the sounds of somebody approaching. With an attentive look, she stares at the dark corridor, until the same man appears, holding two plates of food.

           He approaches the woman once again, leaving a platter of meat strips, some rice, and steamed vegetables adorned by a golden spoon. The man then gets up and sits down close to her, holding his plate, and says:

           - Eat up.

           The cold and the hunger had started to affect the woman, who started to shiver as it was possible to hear her stomach growl resonating through the room.

           - How do you know me? – She asks.

           The man stops eating, looks her in the eye, then goes back to eating.

           - Of course, you wouldn’t tell me. – She says.

           After the man’s done eating he reaches for the plate next to her, that’s when, in a hopeless action, she shatters the plate on the floor and grabs a shard, and holds the man’s head, cutting his face with the shard. The man quickly responds by kicking her hand with a lot of force, removing the shard from her hand.

           Feeling immense pain, the woman retreats and puts her back against the concrete wall, expecting the worst. But instead, the man goes back to the corridor. When he comes back, he’s holding a broom and a black bag. The woman starts to cry in fear and closes her eyes. But instead of a beating, she hears the man starting to clean the room.

           When she opens her eyes once again, the man is crouched, close to her, looking at the food on the floor.

           - What a waste…

           His voice sounds sad, almost as if the pain from the cut was much smaller than the pain of wasting food.

           - I’m sorry… - The woman mumbles.

           - You’re not… You’re just making sure to keep your image intact. – The man answers.

           The woman is in shock, with the words of the man floating around her head. When he finally finishes cleaning the mess, he goes back to the corridor, comes back with a blanket, and throws it to the woman.

           - Good night.

           He then retreats once again to the corridor, lights out, it was over.

           - That’s exactly what Sarah told me back in high school. – The woman said. – She told me I wasn’t sorry that I had ruined her life… That I just said that to keep my image intact.

           The cold quickly reminds the woman of the blanket the man had thrown at her, wearing it like a coat, she starts to feel sleepy.

           - It’s probably the hunger… I’m weak. – She says.

***

           The next day begins just like the other two had begun. The man appears, leaves a plate of food, and says:

           - Eat up.

           But this time the woman had an answer:

           - I want yours. – She says.

           The man looks at her for a second or two, silent. He then exchanges her plate with his and proceeds to sit down and eat.

           The woman, now feeling relieved starts to eat voraciously from the plate of pasta and chicken. The man opens a wide smile as he stops for a second to look at her, he then goes back to a more serious face and resumes eating.

           The two finally share a meal together, the sound of chewing is heard around the room as the two finish their meals.

           - Can I… Can I have more? – Asks the woman, showing the man an empty plate.

           To her surprise the man finally spoke back to her, in full tone:

           - That’s all you get for today.

           Angry, she replies:

           - But I’m not satisfied!

           - You are never satisfied. – The man quickly replies.

           Again, the woman freezes in place. And as the man starts to gather the plates and spoons back, she starts to drift once again in her thoughts.

           The man goes back to the corridor and turns off the lights.

           - You are never satisfied, Samantha… That’s what my dad used to tell me… How does he know all those things about me? – The woman starts to question as soon as the lights go down.

           - My dad would always say to me that I should feel grateful for what I have, but I have never been satisfied by just feeling grateful… I always wanted more. – She said as she started to sob. – That’s why I wasn’t there to save you, dad… That’s why you’re not here anymore…

           Tears start to fall on the ground as the woman starts to reminisce about her dead father. The sound of sobbing could be heard throughout the room.

           - She’s crying…

           - Who said that?! – The woman quickly got up as she got startled by the mumbled voice that had just appeared. – Who’s here?!

           Silence.

           That night, the woman could barely sleep, scared that something, or someone, might come after her that night.

***

           The day began with the lights being turned on, the man then appeared from the dark corridor and went through his usual routine of offering food for the woman and sitting down on the floor to share a meal.

           - I heard somebody talking last night. – She says while she takes a bite of the chicken nuggets.

           - I know. – he answers.

           - Who was talking? – She questions the man.

           The man sighs.

           - It’s time.

           - For what?

           And to her surprise, she receives a clean answer.

           - It’s your mother.

           - What? My mother? How?

           - Listen, you don’t have much time left. If I were you, I’d start eating.

           - What do you mean?

           The man then looked back to his plate and resumed eating.

           - Please… Answer me… Why am I here?

           The man, once again, raised his head and answered her:

           - You chose to be here.

           Shocked by the man’s answer the woman started to drift a little bit

           - I chose… How?

           - Saturday night, you wanted to end it all. According to you because staying hurt too much. – The main said.

           - That’s when I jumped… - The woman completed.

           Silence stood between the two of them for a second. No chewing was able to be heard, the woman looked at her hands and quickly she started to notice that her whole body was bruised. And that’s when she finally noticed, what made her sleep through the nights wasn’t tiredness, but the unbearable pain she’d been feeling ever since she woke up here.

           - Who are you? – She asks.

           - I’m the one keeping you alive. – Says the man. – But if you have noticed, the meals had been getting worse and worse by the day. This means that your time here is almost over.

           - And what am I supposed to do?

           - You stay here because you’ve hurt your family, your friends, and yourself with your egoistic way of life. Because you are not deserving of love. – He says.

           - That’s… My last words before jumping off the window. – She said as she started to tear out.

           Strong emotions gathered around the room as it started to tremble, the concrete walls started to get flaky and fall, everything in the room slowly started to turn into dust.

           - It is time. – The man said.

           And from the deep within her heart, a true emotion had surfaced for the first time in her life. Much of her life had been spent hurting others, but deep down, she felt she wasn’t ready to go, she was far beyond saving, but maybe there was enough time for fixing. Her regrets were far greater than her pride, to a point where living felt like a burden to people. If it wasn’t for her pettiness, her father could still be here, her best friend Sarah might haven’t attempted suicide by overdosing. She was cold and hurtful, she knew that she wasn’t a perfect human being because she felt good by hurting others, so that she could have her gains. But in reality, she wasn’t like that, her parents hadn’t raised someone badly, maybe she needed time, she was far beyond fixing, but maybe it was time for a second chance. Not to fix what she had done, but to give time and space to heal the future. And with a full-hearted phrase, the first sincere thing she had said in quite a while, she cried for salvation.

           - I don’t want to die... – She said with full teary eyes and in a high pitch.

           - Then go away. – The man said as the room started to crumble.

           - But I’m chained to the ground! – She said, still with teary eyes.

           - You did that to yourself, the key is in your bra, just like you left the room to your room before you jumped.

           She got surprised once again, as she stopped crying the room started to shake.

           The woman reached for her bra, feeling now, something inside of it. Feeling inside of it, the key to the chains. She quickly unchained herself, she got up and then started to walk towards the dark corridor, when she finally remembered that the man kept eating inside the crumbling room.

           - Let’s go! – She said.

           - It’s all in your mind Sam, I’m not real. – The man said as he kept eating.

           Samantha slowly reached for the man and hugged him.

           - Thank you.

           She then got up and walked towards the dark corridor.

***

           - Samantha?

           - Mom? – She said.

           - Samantha! – She woman said as she started to cry uncontrollably. – I was so worried about you!

           - I know mom… I’m sorry…

           The conversation got cut short by a masculine voice.

           - She’s awake?!

           - Come, Matt! She’s awake!

           A young man, around his late twenties, appeared in front of Samantha, wearing a white shirt and a pair of jeans.

           - Sam, you’re okay! Thank God! – Said Matt, kissing Sam on her forehead.

           Samantha looked down, feeling the pain in her neck, and as she looked down, Matt was wearing perfectly snow-white sneakers. She smiled.