Unwelcome Change

Dedicated to Jenn, who's name will be sorely missed from my inbox each week. Good luck on the new adventure :)

It was the longest loading screen she’d ever had to sit through. All the while, her stomach copied the flips the compass icon was doing on her screen. She waited, and waited, anxiety building at the back of her mind. Her mental list of things to do only grew longer as she sat there with nothing else to do but come up with reasons not to be there. 

   Finally, it appeared. The game’s title, Wizard Adventure 3: Beyond the Realms, in a stylized font that was reminiscent of the first two games while creating its own unique spin for the third. She sighed as the world came into view, her character waiting patiently where she’d left her. 

   The MMO had begun all the way back in 2009, and served as a hub for long time fans and people looking for a casual hangout to band together to fight fantasy creatures. It was a place for friendships to be forged and broken in battle, as players explored the world and built themselves up. Some even formed teams, which was then added officially as a feature in 2013, due to popular demand. 

   Zoe didn’t go through her usual routine of taking inventory and opening her map to plan her next adventure. No. She had a much more grave task that required attending, because that day there was a sad truth she would finally have to face. 

   Wizard Adventure was dying, and this time not even a dedicated fan base would save it.  

   It had had its share of troubles, as all games do. The exact same scenario had come up in the dark times of 2018, when the company’s money almost ran out, and they resorted to offering premium subscriptions on the, up until then, free to play game. However, it still hurt to see it dying for real. 

   Zoe navigated the UI until she found the in game chat feature. She opened her private messages and clicked on the only one that had been active within six months. Their names were plastered across the screen as messages exchanged back and forth loaded into view. Luella1988 and BrayDaGreat0202 repeated hundreds of times through hours of chat logs about missions or just general conversation. 

   With hesitant hands, she typed in a greeting. 

   Hello, it read, a vague opening allowing for all kinds of discussion. Next came the hard part.

   BrayDaGreat. I have enjoyed our time together on Wizard Adventures, but as the chat doesn’t allow sharing of other means of contact (for legit safety reasons) I’m afraid this will be the end of th-, her thought was cut short by the sudden entry of three dots next to Bray’s icon, bouncing up and down as he crafted his own response. 

   A moment later, the response read on screen, Hello. How are you today? 

   Zoe wasn’t sure how to react, many different emotions stewing within her, each one threatening to boil over. She took a sip of her coffee, allowing the warm liquid swimming down her throat to bring her back to her senses. After deleting her message, she responded to his question instead.

   I’m doing okay, she sent, but as she was about to bring up the topic of the server shutting down he sent another message. 

   That’s good. You said that you were sad yesterday, he responded. She had said that she was sad the day prior. It had been just after receiving the notice that the game would be shut down. Apparently, the company had been on a steady decline where they had the option to faze out the game, but the people running it had been in denial and didn’t take the opportunity when it was there. Do you want to play?

   That wasn’t a good question. Of course she wanted to play. 

   They began with the Forests of Egnethion, killing the bug enemies that spawned there for materials. It all felt so normal. So natural. Whenever she thought for a second about how she was about to lose it all, something exciting would come along to distract her, as a good game should. Before long, she was completely engrossed in fighting alongside her friend. 

   After about two hours they began the trek towards the mountain town of Ritha and she saw the opportunity to bring up the subject while their characters made the hike. 

   I have enjoyed our time together, she started again. But as the chat doesn’t allow sharing of other means of contact (for legit safety reasons), we aren’t going to be able to talk anymore. 

   Wait a minute, Bray interrupted with a message. Shouldn’t we have more materials for this? Well, yes, they should have, but time was limited. They only had until four o’ clock to play and the time was crawling ever close to noon. Zoe paused her thought, again, to answer the question. 

   Yes, she sent and he answered before she could send anything else. 

   We need to storm Fort Arsnia! Follow me! She could sense his enthusiasm radiating from the screen and decided not to ruin the moment. They back tracked through the forest and several towns before making it to the fort. The two hadn’t faced a large group of enemies in some time, but quickly found their groove as they took out enemies in the fort. Bray was right as usual, and the supplies they raided were more than enough to get them safely up the mountain. As a special bonus, they even gained explosives, which the habitants of Fort Arsnia were known for using in combat. 

   Their characters walked side by side along the path back to the mountain. Zoe thought it might be a good time to bring up the elephant in the room, but didn’t want to be interrupted and delete her words… Again. So, she grabbed a notepad and, with one hand on the keyboard, propelling her character forward, she scribbled her message out. 

   Suddenly, the ping of a new message came in, dragging her back into the game. 

   Are you alright? You’ve been running into that wall for, like, Bray sent the end of his message separate, giving it a hint of dramatic flare. Two minutes. 

   I’m fine :) she responded, then typed, I wanted to talk to you abou-.

   “Charge!” Bray’s character shouted its custom battle line and Zoe watched with horror as he barreled towards a hoard of Mountain Ogres, half ogre half mountain goat creatures that could kill a character in two hits! They were meant to be avoided, adding a stealth aspect into a heavily open plane, combat based game. 

   Zoe equipped her gear and dashed in after Bray, desperate to defend him and all of the items they'd collected. When they finally emerged, health bars screaming in bright red, it was decided that no more mountain ogres would be fought unless it was absolutely necessary, if only to save their potions. 

   It was slow going up the mountain. With no fast travel point for them at the top, they’d have to walk the entire way, dodging enemies and slinking past obstacles. Zoe could picture every detail of the mountain, from the way the air smelled crisp, hinting at incoming snow, to the way her muscles would strain climbing the same rock piles as her character. Bray kept the conversation going along the way, leaving no room for her to bring up the subject that had haunted her since the day before. In actuality, she didn’t want to bring it up at all. She wanted to leave things as they were, their happiness forever ingrained in the code for those seconds before the server went offline for good. 

   Zoe continued to put off the inevitable until they reached the mountain peek, battered and bruised but still alive. In all of her years playing, this had been the one area she hadn’t visited. Whether that was because she was afraid of the mountain ogres or she didn’t have the right supplies was unclear. She opened her map, gazing wistfully at the 100% that now appeared next to it. A sort of validation cleansed her, as if she’d done something that was really important.

   A single look at the time made her mood plummet. It was almost three o’ clock. One hour. It wasn’t enough time, though she doubted any amount satisfy her. She looked at her game, the sweeping expanse of space beyond the mountain peak, hidden valleys behind fluffy clouds, and almost cried. 

   She couldn’t do it. How could she possibly let go of something so precious? Something that she’d held so dear for so long? The thought crossed her mind briefly that if she’d just done more, just worked harder, just cared more it wouldn’t have to end this way. There must have been something she could have done. At any moment she could be approached by someone insisting that the entire thing was her fault and she’d believe it. 

   How do you like the mountain? Bray asked, taking her away from her dark train of thought. 

   I love it, she responded. Best place in the game. They stayed silent for several minutes, watching the characters do their idle animations. Playfully kicking the ground, swinging a weapon, then the last one in the cycle, sitting down on the ground. Zoe leaned back in her chair, attempting to match the relaxed posture of her character. She longed to trade places with her. To live as a code in a world of imaginary creatures, fighting and exploring to her heart's content. 

   Three thirty. Soon it would all be over. Gone. Poof. Into the infinite space of the machine. 

   Have you heard of PowerStormQX? Bray’s sudden mention of a topic she’d never heard of caught her briefly off guard. 

   No. What is it? she asked. Her innocent voice could leak through the screen. 

   It’s an MMO, but more science fiction, he continued. It has robots. 

   Robots weren’t usually her thing. Zoe was much more at home in the fantasy genre. 

   I’ve been playing it recently. If you join, I’ll show you around, Bray offered, then went on to pitch several more perks of the game that he must have thought would appeal to her. 

   They have a chat feature. His last advantage to the world of PowerStormQX made his purpose clear. He couldn’t share a link to social media, email, or even say his username, but that he could say. That he played another game and, if she did too, they might run into each other. She looked back at her notepad, the well thought out goodbye sloppily printed. 

   I’ll give it a try, she responded, genuinely intending on searching it up after the server closed. 

   Cool, he said. In one word she swore she could feel his excitement mingling with her own at the prospect of keeping in touch. I have to go. Bye. 

   Bye, she typed, a sense of finality in the words that, thank goodness, weren't actually final. At least she would have one thing left to hold on to. Bray’s avatar fizzled from sight, and she was all alone on the mountain, watching with dread as the time ticked by.  

   3:59. One minute was all she had left in the world she loved.

   And then, it happened, the clock hit four. She squeezed her eyes shut, suddenly unable to watch the death of her beloved, her life, her only hobby. She’d have to pick up something new like dance classes or just work overtime to fill the emptiness that Wizard Adventures would leave in her soul. 

   However, the music remained unchanged as it drifted through her headphones. Slowly, she peeled back one eyelid at a time to see the game still running. That wasn’t right. 

   She threw off her headphones and stood in her cubicle to find a disaster area. Coworkers were desperately scrambling around the office, papers flying everywhere as voices raised periodically. Across the room, a man on a phone pointed at her. 

   “Zoe! Thank goodness!” the room went so silent that a rogue staple hitting the carpet would sound loud. All eyes turned to her, who’d emerged from her permitted hole of misery to aid them. The man who called out to her suddenly seemed nervous, as if he regretted saying anything. “Admin permissions.” 

   The words hit her like the whole world had been dropped on her chest, because she knew what that meant, and now she understood why he seemed regretful. Alas, it was all up to her. Without saying a word, she sat back at her desk and within a moment a circle with the words “Kill Switch” stared her down. 

   She hovered her mouse over it for a minute, hands shaking as she willed herself to do the unthinkable. Kill her pride and joy. Her creation. 

   As if she were bidding farewell to a friend, she whispered, “Bye,” before clicking. Without even checking that it had initiated properly, she reopened the window for Wizard Adventure, and watched as the world went dark.