That One Summer

Sitting on my folding chair on my porch, in the midst of the summer evening, I notice a couple of gladiolus flowers poking out of the flower bed. Their scarlet pedals are hard to miss due to their vibrancy. It’s fitting that they symbolize deep love. As I watch them sway to the warm winds, they remind me of the best summer I’ve ever had. 

She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever met. I didn’t tell her that of course, in case it would make her uncomfortable. My face always turned pink any time someone would try to compliment me.  

She was far more beautiful than lavender. She was rich with melanin, and her hair was lush and full, and would dangle in spirals. Thick enough to lose my fingers in. Her rich complexion reminded me of a warm late-summer day.   

Our families both owned beach houses, which we spent every day of summer at for the past sixteen years. Andy and I mostly liked to hang out at the top of the lighthouse. The keeper didn’t mind that two teenagers took advantage of the view.

I was just happy we weren’t hanging out at the beach this time. I don’t exactly fancy being shirtless. 

“This view will never get old” Andy remarked, gazing into the distance. I couldn’t agree more. Light was slightly peeking out. It was extremely early in the morning. The crack of dawn. Too early to wake up. So it felt like we were the only ones awake. 

“Yeah, totally.” I barely responded moments later. Even though Andy and I were never apart every summer, it had been getting harder to express myself to her. Harder than usual. I could never measure up to her level of perfection. Her wit and humour, contagious. Her way of thinking, enviable. All the things I loved about her. 

“I don’t get fishing honestly” She started. We could see a man fishing from where we were. He had just caught about five bluefish. 

“We don’t have to eat fish, and frankly, I think it’s a whole lot of effort for something that doesn’t even taste good.” Andy continued, a little confused and irritated. 

“I can testify to that.” I imputed. “Last time I went fishing with my Dad we only caught two minnow and we were at it for hours.”

“See what I mean?” She exclaimed, screwing up her face and shaking her head. Hoping I’d agree with her. 

“Yeah, us humans are pretty weird.” I said, raising my eyebrows and slightly smiling. “But not you. You’re not weird” I blabbed. 

“The weirdest.” She giggled.

“Remember when we were kids and couldn’t surf yet so we just lay on the beach?” Andy asked.

“How could I forget, we would feel the waves and find seashells.” I said enthusiastically. 

“Do you wanna do it again?” She suggested. I didn’t want to do it if it meant wearing my trucks. I’d gotten away with wearing a shirt when swimming in the past, but now it would look ridiculous for me to go around shirtless, and not do what all the other guys do. Especially in front of Andy. My lanky and scrawny psyche wasn’t very attractive or appealing.  

But I couldn’t disappoint. “Sure. This evening?” I will never know why I planned it that day. I needed more time to mentally prepare. But what's done is done. 

“Yeah. ok. Let’s meet back there.” Andy responded. 

 Back in my room, I paced up and down, wondering how on earth I could pull this off without it being awkward. If I wore a shirt there would be an obvious elephant in the room, but if it didn’t? I just couldn’t. The thought of that made me uncomfortable. I was already not confident with clothes on. 

Then I had a lightbulb moment. I realised that I have to do what all confident people do. Make myself confident enough to take off my shirt. 

First, I thought of all the things I could be good at. I’m definitely no Brainiac. My dyslexia made it difficult to read and write, and I got frustrated when I couldn't make out what normal brains would find simple. 

I'm not very athletic, unless you count surfing. But I’m still not very stable on the surfboard. I tried skateboarding with some friends. But after three months of constant failure, I gave up. I had no balance, so I could hardly do something as simple as cruising along the road. Let alone doing an ollie. I was taken aback when my skater friends told me an ollie was the easiest trick in the book. Definitely not for me. Don’t even get me started on field sports and running. I pretty much run like an injured chicken, and I have the worst aim known to mankind. It’s painful having as low of a skillset as me. 

I can’t draw either. Andy was incredibly talented at drawing. Once she drew a portrait of me that was disturbingly realistic. I still have that painting hanging in my room. It’s framed now.   

Well, that idea obviously didn’t work whatsoever. I decided to hit the gym in hope to boost my confidence. When I arrived at the nearby gym, my eyes widened because I immediately realised I was the only scrawny guy there. All the other guys there were huge and had defined muscles. I wouldn’t want to upset any one of them.

I hesitated to pick up anything, and constantly kept up my guard, in case anyone was staring. The only gym exercise I knew of were bench presses, so I tried doing a few of those. I added the lightest weights possible, and gave it my all, but I couldn't complete more than three.

So, that was an epic fail. Going to the gym did the exact opposite of what I intended to do. 

It was getting closer to the evening, and my palms were getting sweet. I stared at the swimming shirt for what seemed like forever. But I had to meet up with Andy. 

So I wore the shirt.

“Hey you!” She said when I arrived at the shore. 

She was wearing a two piece swimsuit, and a shawl wrapped around her body. The sun was setting, and as the waves swished, the air was still warm.

“You showed up.” She continued.

“Why would I miss it?” I said, grinning. 

“I really was gonna bail.” Andy confessed. I was baffled. 

“You kinda suggested the idea.” I uttered as chill as I could. 

“I know, I just don’t think I thought it through.” She announced, looking down at her hands which she was fidgeting with. She then proceeded to bite her lip. Her toes were locking, and she wouldn’t look me in the eye. 

“I guess I’m just not really that confident.” She stuttered. Up till this point, I’ve never noticed any signs of Andy being insecure. Maybe I was just too focused on my own insecurities. 

“Andy, that’s crazy.” I started. “Look at me, I’m wearing a shirt to go swimming.” I said. Clearly knowing how pathetic that was. Andy looked up from her hands.  

“I literally spent the entire day trying to work up the courage to be shirtless in front of you” I confessed. “You’re definitely not the only insecure person here.” I said, trying to comfort her. 

“Why?” Andy exclaimed. You’re literally the most perfect person I know. I was literally spending the whole day trying to work up the courage to be in a bikini around you.” She admitted.

We exchanged looks for a couple seconds and then burst out laughing. 

“I feel like an idiot,” Andy laughed.

“Yeah, same here.” I said, shaking my head and chuckling out how silly this all was. 

That was the moment I took off my shirt, and made myself vulnerable in front of Andy.

She freed her hair from it’s puff and it clouded loose behind her. 

“You’re the most beautiful and extraordinary girl I’ve ever met.” I told her. 

She ran to the flowerbeds nearby and picked up a gladiolus flower. “You’re like this flower.” She said, “You’re strong.” 

That was the moment that I kissed her. It felt like time stopped, and the only two people that mattered in the world were the two of us. My heart pounded in my chest. I could only focus on how soft Andy’s lips were against mine, and how I invaded all her senses. We were closer than ever before.

I guess it was pointless how worried I was about being insecure, because Andy was insecure too. Now many how we saw ourselves. I thought Andy was perfect, and she thought I was too. 

The gladiolus flower I was currently looking at reminded me of my deep love for her. Even though it had been two decades ago.