A summer of isolation

Trapped in a house called home, with only the people who saw us grow, and this was all due to a global pandemic. We waved goodbye to our friends, hoping to see them in a number of days, but that soon turned in to weeks then months. 

With a deranged school system, a job at home that requires silence, and anxiety raising through the roof, this was our quarantine.

We gathered food and supplies for our survival the same as squirrels in the winter. Our residents of our family included my mom, my brother, my sister, two guinea pigs, a dog, and of course me. 

When school started virtually, it was haywire. Not only due to the unstructured schedules but as well as the teachings, that was instructed. My brother and I are both on the spectrum of autism. No one understands him as I did, I mean we both faced similar things, so I assisted him with his teachings when I had spare time. Due to sudden change and not proper learning to teach virtually, they closed school early, and we were all dismissed to summer. 

What kind of summer did this year bring us? A summer that confined us to our homes, a summer where the fear of surviving tomorrow haunted and tormented our minds. Yeah, that's our summer, that's our world's summer. 

Stay well they say, that's hard, half of the family has a low immune system, and my brother has asthma. I'm the only one who can stand in the midst of the fire, and even though I wouldn't dare for the sake of my family. 

I stand behind these walls not for me but you, for I know, I will recover. I stand by you not only on the days where a smile sits but on the days where tears rain. If my only way to assist is to stay home, let it be. For my family, I will watch grass grow, this I declare. 

As days passed, our situation grew to riots, social equality movements, and murderous bees. The global pandemic, numbers only grew from then. The thought that floated on all our minds is, will this ever cease? Will, we ever return to normal, or will this become normal? 

My sister and I went on a walk, on our way there we would stop by a gas station. I have been sleeping for several days now, so a walk was the best for both of us. The plan was to jog our way there and back. It sounded easy, it would've been if I was more active. When we were midway there, my feet gave out, but of course, I didn't stop. Couldn't let my little sister know, I was tired. The sun, was it this bright before? My back ached, my feet caved, my skin sizzling in the sun. I couldn't bear any more sunshine.  We finally reached the gas station when I finally realized things were different. Change, why can't I handle change? The world consists of change, yet I fall in the sight of one. There were x's on the floor, a large piece of plastic between the customer and the cashier. Before I could analyze more, my thoughts corrupted my brain, my movements, became someone else's. My only thought was to get back home. I held my tears till night, there I confided, on my mom. 

I was already learning to fit into this world and now everything changes again. It took me years, to learn our world, our customs, our greetings, our routines, there all different now. She listened to me and held me close. When we were done I told my boyfriend, he then spared me the truth, it's okay. The world isn't perfect and, neither should we. 

My boyfriend and I have been together since March 3rd of 2020. Being apart from him was the hardest thing for me. You know other than the whole pandemic. I would text him every morning and night. Although the best conversations were at night. We recently regrouped at food dispensation to complete our community service hours for school. Now I'm not the best at showing expressions, comfort, or love. So all I did was walk up to him, seeing him in person was enough for me. Of course, we were there for other reasons so we tended to our duties. Near the end, we were putting boxes away for storage, he hugged me briefly. Dumb of I not to notice, he wanted a hug. Every Friday at community service, we would share a hug. We weren't the affectionate type of people who you would see kissing everywhere. A hug shared between us meant more than you think. It means we got each other, and our hug will last forever, cause there is no end to a hug. A circle of everlasting love. Now I know we are young, but I do wish he is mine forever. 

The rest of my quarantined week consisted of sleeping, and the lack of motivation to do anything productive. Sure, I would try to make schedules to keep my body active, but the depths of my bed wouldn't let me go. I was told if I slept, it would bring tomorrow sooner, but I did it not do it for that reason. I slept because I wanted today to end sooner. Due to a lack of proper day scheduling, my family kept me in check. I soon welcomed my morning by doing some light cooking and running. The day delighted by the warmth of a chance, a chance to bring the love, our summer deserves.

So you probably thought, this will be a fairytale in which I fell in love while my whole world was collapsing. It was rather a tale where the love of my family, kept me going. In a summer of sorrow and doubt, the love of my family brought joy in the little things. Whether it was a family board game or watching tv together, it brought a grin, and that's I could ask for.