Punch with Math

How are you doing today? You’re good, that’s good to hear.

Let’s see, what should I talk about today? I know, how about I tell you about a legendary boxer? He was a man who had a weird rule to his boxing. Truly he was idiotic, still like many I was mesmerized. Why you ask – that’s simple. He was never the champ but… he was the people’s favorite. Funny right?

Still, his rule fascinated us. Illogical as they may be, it's what made him who he was.

Hmm, you want to hear about the rule? Well, all right – where should I start? How about with his training, you need to see if you can find the rule though I’ll give you a hint. The key here is to remember he has two hands.

Up until he was ranked six, he was just a regular boxer, using ordinary tactics - then for whatever reason, he changed. To prepare for his fight against the fifth-ranked Greg “Iron Defense” Walker. His change began. They say the sight in the gym was bizarre. Though it’s not like others wouldn’t be desperate to find a way through Greg’s defense. Sure, he’s only ranked fifth but even the champ said he hated Greg’s defense.

In the gym, the preparation that man made was a sight to behold. He placed a restriction on himself though at the time people still didn’t know what it was exactly. Here’s how his sessions went. In round one he only threw punches in a rhythm of two’s, the classic one-two with a pause in between. Simple right, but that was the only kind of punches he threw for that round. In the second round, he threw punches in fours so it was one-two back-to-back without taking a breather. The third round was much the same except now he threw six punches before he took a breather.

Truly a fool, right? He practiced it and did it in the actual match. Of course, you can guess the crowd’s reaction. But would you know it? He actually won the match? You think I’m lying, but trust me it was a sight to behold. The man boxed and glided around the ring with grace. Greg was proud and he threw more punches than we had ever seen that day. Still, he couldn’t land a thing.

By round three the crowd sat silently in their seats. What was taking place could only be a fantasy – yes, a fantasy that what was? A dream that we all were caught in. Our eyes fixated on that man, bewildered and amazed at that same time.

The match ended in round four - Greg was tired. Why wouldn’t he be, he’d been swinging so much every round. His iron defense was nowhere to be found. Just like he’d practiced, that man threw eight punches, took a breather, evaded Greg, rinse, and repeated this until he KO’d Greg.

That was the match that started his legend.

It was funnier that he used that same approach on those who dared to challenge him. What, you think I'm making it up? Well, it’s not like I can blame you. Do you want to hear more or should I stop?

You want more. You sure – okay. Like I was saying he used that strategy until he got KO’d, in the first round. The victor Matt Doug only got boos from the crowd. You’d think the crowd would at least give the man his right adulation but he got none. That man on the other hand was praised for putting up a great fight.

I can see the contempt you have. I’m not lying to you though. You want proof. Sad to say all I have are tales and what I saw myself. What, that’s not enough. It’s not like these fights were exactly legal you know. But hey if I’m wasting your time I can leave. It’s not a problem for me…

You’re fine with my tales? You, sure? All right – should I continue? I take that as a yes.

After that loss, he adopted a new strategy but it was crazier than his last.

Everyone thought him crazy how he declared he was throwing too many punches so he was reducing them and at the same time increasing them. As you would expect we were dumbfounded. Even more so his opponents did not expect that they would lose. He kept this strategy and became the second-ranked. What magic was he using? Or better yet what drug was he on, cause it was just weird. Though he threw less punches – the punches he did throw had a new snappiness to them and you could see the weight when hitting his opponent. It didn’t matter if they guarded or not it could be seen clearly on their face.

This strategy started where for rounds one and two he only used his left to attack. As if to embody the saying “He who rules with his left rules the world”, you can guess how that went down. For round three he switched to the one-two and only the one-two. His first few opponents were caught off guard by the sudden change. If the match made it to round four, he did the one-two and left jabs as his tools. We only saw one match go to round five where his tools expanded to include right and left hooks.

In the one five-round match the ref had to quickly jump in before the round finished cause you could see the damage he was doing to the kid. That kid’s face was… yeah… not a pretty sight. No one could fault the kid for retiring after that loss. I’d do the same if I was him. What was special though and it was only in the gym – he showed what round six would be. I mean, adding three punches where two were derivatives of one. That man added the uppercut, gazelle punch, and smash to his arsenal.

Your expression says you’re still doubting my tale. It’s best I stop then, no point in continuing it seems. Why are you grabbing my hand? You don’t believe me anyway, so just let me go and I’ll go my way and stop bothering you. Watching me like that isn’t going to change my mind. Sighing, why do I even care – fine. I’ll continue my tale. I know I’ll tell you of the time he faced the champ.

He had tried to use that last strategy on the champ and somehow last two rounds but got knocked out in the third. To all who witnessed it was surely the end. It was a vicious assault that left him in a bloody mess.

Who would have expected he would have the courage to try again?

He adopted another strategy that was weirder than the last. It was similar but still weird. In round one he only did regular jabs – for round two he did the one-two. In round three he did jabs, one-two, and the three previously mentioned types of uppers. What caught even the champ off guard was his switching between regular and southpaw in round four – this enabled him to have in essence twelve punches but it became twenty-four. He added the flicker jab, short upper, liver blow, right and left hooks, and the counter. We all thought it couldn’t be real and champ surely thought the same. Despite winning before, he was struggling against him now. Their fight lasted for five rounds. Yeah, in truth it lasted four rounds. Truthfully it reached the fifth round but that man never stood up from his corner. He had already lost consciousness, still, he was brilliant. A legend that no one can top.

Who was he, you ask – that’s a minor matter. What matters in the legend he left? Well, it’s best I get going, I’ll be sure to tell you more tales another day. Glancing back as I leave, I could only feel sorrow. You wanted to know who that legend was. It’s funny, you don’t remember me, you don’t remember anything… … That… that man was your father. A man who gave his body for what he loved and dedicated his life to his family. These are the very tales you used to tell me, now look at you. But maybe it’s best you don’t remember, after all, you… you kill him. Yeah, it’s best you live in la la land, cause reality is much worse.

The Mathematician was killed by his own son – that was the headline of all the newspapers. The reporters are seething to get at you – even now I wade through this sea of vultures to visit you every day. Stay dumb, yeah that’s for the best. As long as you play dumb, no one can do anything and my hatred has a target brother. Don’t think I didn’t notice your reaction when I talked about father’s punches, the Round Multiplier, his Fibonacci Connector, and the Factorial factor. I’ve worn out the tapes of dad, all in an effort to rekindle my hate every day. I can’t… I won’t love you. Damn.