cheap birthday gift

Wednesday 14, September

I have been waiting for school to be over ever since I walked through the school doors this morning, I actually wanted to stay at home and play sick but mom was going to find out since we ran out of oat meal for the pretend barf that I was going to put in the toilet to make my illness look so real, but lucky for me, school was a breeze, time flew so fast, but something that I actually enjoyed was during biology class we learnt how snakes give birth, the baby snakes were kind of cute but they were still the tiny, little, disgusting, dead eyed freaks that they are, I can remember the first time Ella saw a snake she was outside using those fake Bratitude seeds that grow money trees, what a rip off, not knowing she had to break the big seed pod to get the Bratitude bucks, that’s the currency in the fake Bratitude world, I would normally tell her she is meant to crack It open to get the money but she keeps saying “then who keeps putting Bratitude bucks under my pillow every night”, so my new task is to be waking up every night digging up her stupid seeds like a creepy weirdo, anyway I would have to dig it up, crack open the seed pod, remove the stupid Bratitude bucks and put the money under her pillow, but one day as she was digging a hole to plant another one of her stupid seed pods she saw a small snake it looked dead but oh man it wasn’t, she first thought it was a worm but then later she came to me with a ridiculous explanation, I thought that the snake had transferred mental problems to Ella, the next thing she said was

Ella: look, look, see my magical pet

She said as she stretched her hand holding a lifeless baby snake

Ella: her name is Ruby, she told me to put her in my doll house, can you buy me more dollies, I need them because Ruby says she needs a maid and I don’t have any more dollies

Me: what about your teddy bear?

Ella: well, Ruby says that she is seeing Mr. Teddy

Now that was just….wrong even for Ruby, even though Teddy looks like a haunted, saliva smelling, disgusting teddy bear, he has dated a lot of Ella’s dolls who are presently in the dump getting ready to be incinerated or something, if there's one thing I know about teddy is that he is a heart breaker, he breaks peoples heart on a regular basis, my advice to Ruby is that she should dump teddy while she still happy because teddy is going to dump you sooner that you can say ‘Jack Robinson’

Me: No, I am not buying you any dollies besides I am broke

she decided to keep Ruby as a pet, she even put it on my bed the next day after it bit me, I was begging my parents to take me to the hospital where they could actually administer me some real medical care, unfortunately for me at that time Ella wanted to become a nurse so my parents bought her the costume and all the nursing tools and left her with me so that they could take care of me and by ‘they’ I mean her and her teddy bear, I could see the happiness through teddy’s eyes at the fact that I was suffering, anyway enough about babies now about me, my day has been awful, first all I have no idea what time it is, because a certain ‘someone’ stole my phone to watch pretty little Pegasus princesses save the kingdom 3, it’s another stupid show Ella is sooo addicted to, that show is so stupid, Ella likes loves it so much but I, as a mature girl has no time to be watching that, seriously it’s that bad that it makes you lose brain cells per second, I am sure that’s what Liv watches every day, that why none of her brain cells function well, like if she ever goes to the hospital for a brain checkup they won’t see a thing in the place where her brain is meant to be, I won’t be surprised if she has the IQ of a bacteria. Any way as I was saying the time on the invite is 3:00pm and its already 3:50pm, I have like 24 missed calls from Lisa, Ashlyn, Tyson and Kim, who the heck is Kim, I have to be fast, I also need a ride, since my parents have gone for a meeting again, they better get ready to buy more ice cream from The Dreamy Creamy speaking of The Dreamy Creamy, who will take care of Ella while I and ‘the babysitters’ are at the party, I don’t and won’t take her to the party especially when she has no ticket, but I can’t just leave her at home, it’s not because I care about her or anything but because she might will destroy the house, she will turn this kind of perfect house into a mad house, I’ll just take her with me and hope she doesn’t embarrass me in front of my friends and crush. My fingers are crossed.

OMG! How could I have forgotten all about it, but I don’t blame myself I mean with all this drama how could I have even remembered, I completely forgot to get Tyler a gift, Ella reminded me when she was yapping about how her birthday party is going to be so much better, that her birthday cake is going to be as big as the Eiffel tower but I doubt her birthday cake can even be up to 5 inches, that her presents could mount up to the size of a mountain but then I doubt she could even get up to at least 5 presents that’s if the other kids are not traumatized by the way Ella behaves at her birthday party, anyway we could stop at a mart and see if we can buy anything with $3.¢45, which is all I have on me, for now my only focus is that we enter a mart get a nice thoughtful gift for a small amount of money that would get Tyler to think of me as a nice, caring, thoughtful, good friend that I am, and we are not going to buy any useless, stupid, baby nuisance that Ella wants to buy for any reason whatsoever even if she starts throwing a temper tantrum or refuses to move, because I will just abandon her there and go home knowing that I don’t have to put up with any overgrown bratty little baby. Ella and I kept checking all the aisles for any nice gift to get Tyler, but unfortunately there was nothing special and heartwarming enough to show what a great friend I was for just $3.45 cents, As we entered ‘get in empty, get out with something’ which is a very funny name, and that’s just the name of the shop. Ella rushed into the mart but I had to chase after her before she sets her eyes on something stupid and childish, I guessed since all I know about Tyler is that he is a nice, sweet and handsome guy who loves sport, I don’t really know much about him, since I have only know him for like 2 weeks now anyway with this info I should be able to find a nice gift for him, Ella and I checked the sport section and all we could find very special for him was a pair of sport shoes, and since the party would soon be over we had to stick with that. Fortunately for us there’s a bus outside at least now we could hit a ride to Tyler’s party.