But I loved you

"I love you, Okay!?"

I stare a hole right through his head. Jack was my best friend since 2nd grade. He just screamed at me that he loves me. I don't understand.

I just laugh. What? He doesnt really mean that. He continues talking, but I don't really hear him. I think he knew I didn't process it, so he kept trying to talk to me, even touching my face, like he had read in novels. I could hear my name faintly being said.

"...ease. Judy. Judy, come on, I just told you I love you, don't blank out on me now."

I turn away from his face and he sighs.

"Anyways, I guess, I got you a present. Merry Christmas."

Handing me the present, Jack flushes, muttering something about how I should have said something to not make the situation awkward. I open the present to find a necklace. Not just any necklace, though, the necklace that I've been looking at from afar since Summer of 2019.

"Th-thank you, Jack... I... I love... it." I mutter. Though he looks embarrassed, like he was expecting a response to his previous confession. What am I supposed to say? I do love him, but he has a girlfriend, one who has already threatened me if I took him away from her.

"Jack."

"Judy?"

"... I appreciate it."

"Oh."

We sat there for a few moments, but the silence was cut short as Jack's girlfriend popped into the living room, just as Jack tried to reach for my hand. She looked furious at the sight of Jack and me so close.

Her expression calmed as she spoke, "Jack, sweetheart. Darling. Honey. Where are my christmas presents? I can't seem to find them under the tree." Jack looked baffled, as if she would have known by now.

He started to speak, but I put a hand on his shoulder, stepping in front of him, "Lilianne! I actually have a present for you," I say as I pull out a small box out of my pocket, Jack scowling at the nicely wrapped thing, "It's nothing much, but I saw you looking at it on our girls night out, and you might have been too drunk to remember, but you kept pulling on my arm until I bought it."

Unwrapping the gift with precision, she comes to a box, to which she says with an awe like scowl, "No, I don't remember."

Flicking open the box to get the process over with, she stares in disbelief.

"Is it everything you've ever wanted?" Jack jokes with a frown and sarcastic tone.

What waited in the box was something out of the ordinary for her, and was expensive, even for someone with my pay. A pure gold bracelet, covered in real diamonds. And right behind it was a reciept to get the matching earrings and necklace after they are resized to not look so gaudy.

Lilianne started to tear up, as I presume it was the first time someone really thought about something like that.

"Well, Merry Christmas, Lilianne. Now, can I have a private conversation with Jack for a moment? Afterwards, you can have him all to yourself." Jack looked at me like I was about to jump off a bridge.

Which I was.

Lilianne left the room crying happy tears as she put on the bracelet. Jack turned to me.

How can I put the next sentence lightly.

"Jack."

"Judy."

I sighed. This was going to be a tough conversation, especially after that whole ordeal and the present he gave me and the present I have yet to give him.

"Jack. You have a wonderful girlfriend."

"No, don't you dare do this to me."

"Jack, please." I started to cry.

"Judith Isabelle Rosa Kiaha. You have no right to tell me you don't love me because we both know it's a lie."

He was right, it was a lie, but I won't be a homewrecker.

"Judy, please."

"That isn't fair! Not to me, not to her, and not to yourself! You built an entire relationship around us both and I cant have that happen anymore!"

"It is fair. Because I love both of you, but can't you just listen to reason?"

He started to grab for my arm, but I pulled away, his small gift falling out of my pocket as I move.

He picks up the box and I realise that I was never going to give it to him after what he started this conversation with.

He slowly opened the box to reveal a music box. As he started to wind the handle, it played "You are my Sunshine". Small teardrops formed on his face.

"I knew you loved me. And I will still love you, no matter what."

I couldn't get any words out for a few seconds. And once I could, it came out as rude and mean as possible.

"Well, I don't! Leave me alone!" I screamed, then stormed out of his house, tears coming down my face faster than I thought.

I try and unlock my car as fast as possible, but Jack comes running out, screaming my name.

"JUDY PLEASE!" His voice and volume shakes my bones, "Judy, please, you can't run away from this. You even remembered."

I look at him. I remembered. Yes, I did remember. The pact we made in 7th grade after a short kid made a joke about us being inseparable all the time, how we would never find anyone to love. If one of us ever fell in love with someone, we would buy them and ourselves a music box with their favourite song to confess. I've only ever had one music box, and so has Jack. The matching music box for "You are my Sunshine" was sitting on the dash of my car.

"Judy, you love me, please, just admit it. Otherwise you wouldn't have even thought of giving me this." He holds out his palm with the music box. He leans in to kiss me, just as the light to inside his house is covered with a shadow. Lilianne. Her shadow starts shaking, like shes crying. How could I have forgotten. I am kissing her boyfriend.

Her heels stomp on the snow covered concrete and stop just as Jack let's go of me. A stinging pain comes across my face as she smacks me.

"I'll make your life a living hell, Judy. I already warned you once."

And all I could mutter was," I'm sorry Lilianne, I didn't... I didn't think about it. I'm so sorry!" But the truth was, I wasn't sorry at all.