5 comments

American Horror Suspense

A woman named Grace in her mid 20s is being questioned by two police officers at the police station.

One officer responds " So you saw Mr Turner shoot his wife that night correct?" Grace answers " Yes officer from my bedroom window I saw Mr. Turner my neighbor shoot his wife Mrs Turner in the head" , Officer palmer responds " How did you know that he shot his wife in the head?" With a frustrating expression on Grace's face she responds " because that's what I saw from my bedroom window" Officer palmer takes a chair & move it very closely towards to grace & says " I need to know exactly what happened that night because we went to the Turner's house & his wife is alive no evidence of a bullet wound on her body she looked practically well" Grace begins to become angry " Officer I'm not the one that you should be questioning I told you what I saw that should be the end of it!". Officer palmer gets up from his chair " Did you hear what I said there's literally no evidence of a murder either you're lying or Mrs Turner has a twin! I dont know what is going on!" Officer wilbert chimes in & says " tell us what happened that night detail by detail go on Mrs Taylor" ( he begins to light his cigar waiting for grace to respond) Grace with a exhausted tone says " its Ms Taylor I'm no longer married" Officer palmer gets in her face & says " lady tell us what happened".

"Last night I was in bed sound a sleep until I heard Mrs & Mr Turner yelling at one another at first I thought I could ignore it & go back to sleep but I couldn't the argument sounded too intense! So I looked out my bedroom window through their bedroom window & I see Mr Turner grabbing Mrs Turner yelling at her in a suspenseful way, i couldn't comprehend what the argument was about because my brain was still half asleep then all of a sudden I see Mr Turner shoot Mrs Turner in her head. I was frightened so I closed my bedroom curtain & picked up the phone & called 911" Officer Wilbert starts to laugh & officer palmer chimes in " Its Impossible Ms Taylor Like my partner said when you called us we went over to the Turner's house & Mr & Mrs Turner both opened the front door with pajamas on sounding as if they just woke up Now you do know that false information about a murder is jail time?!" Grace rolls her eyes & says " yes I'm well aware of that officer I know my rights but I know what I saw from my bedroom window maybe Mrs turner does have a twin I dont know! But I know what I saw & I'm not the kind of woman that falsify information" Officer palmer looks grace in the eyes & says " Look you seem like a great woman my partner & I will let this one slide JUST THIS TIME BUT DONT LET IT BE ANOTHER !" " You can go home Ms Taylor I think we've heard enough tonight" Officer Wilbert adds.

Next scene Grace gets out of the car & before she enters her home she takes a glare at The Turners House & shakes her head then all of a sudden she hears a voice that sound similar to Mrs Turners " Goodmorning Grace" Grace becomes startled & looks on the turners patio & sees Mrs Turner sitting down fanning herself. " Theres no way that could've been a nightmare it seemed too real" Grace whispers to herself, Mrs Turner Stands up & walks over to Grace & says " Morning Grace must've not heard me say morning?" Grace face becomes pale along with the rest of her body.

" Grace? Are you alright you look very pale. Grace? Grace faints onto the ground Mrs Taylor screams for Mr Turner to come out & help ,Mr turner runs out & says " What happened to her? " Mrs Turner startled responds " I dont know she just faint!" " OK let's put her in the house" Mr & Mrs Turner both grab Grace & enter their home.

Next scene Grace is lying in a bed where Mrs Turner surrounds her. Grace begins to open her eyes & softly says " Where Am I?" When she recognizes Mrs Turner's face she starts to scream. Mrs Turners Rubs her arm to calm her down " it's ok Grace you are fine" Grace still panicking responds " How did I get in your house?" Mr Turner enters the room where his wife & Grace are " Oh good shes up & well" Grace looking confused " none of you answered my question why am I in your home? What did you do to me?" Mrs Turner slowly walks up to Grace & says " You fainted outside of your home I walked over to say Goodmorning to you like I always do & you started to become pale & you fainted!" Grace says startled " I fainted? I never faint!" Mr Turner chimes in " oh but you did I'm glad I was able to help you" Mrs Turner adds " yes he's a doctor I'm glad he was able to help" Mr Turner starts to smile " I usually give my patients a treat a lollipop is all do you care for a treat Grace?". (Grace nods her head no) Mr & Mrs Turner starts to exit the room until Grace says " Wait did you two get into an heated argument last night?" Mrs Turnerr turns around & says " maybe we argue all of the time we disagree on a lot of things which a lot of couples do" Mr Turner adds " yes I'm sorry if we had woken you last night" Grace looks confused & says " I have to go thanks for helping me I guess". "NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL." Mr Turner responds. Mr & Mrs Turner walks Grace to their front door waving her goodbye Grace blatantly stares & waves back

November 07, 2020 14:15

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5 comments

TJ Squared
22:38 Feb 22, 2021

interesting. I have a few edits though. In the beginning paragraph, I would suggest that you break up your sentences, and dialogue, for they are a little hard to read. Also in the beginning paragraph, there are some names that are not capitalized (like Officer palmer and Officer wilbert.) " ( he begins to light his cigar waiting for grace to respond) Grace with a exhausted tone says" you could take away the parenthesis, for they are unnecessary. Yea, that's about it. Just try to chop up your paragraphs a bit more so they are easier to r...

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Jade Orien🍀
02:46 Feb 23, 2021

Thank you for liking my story & giving me feedback. Yeah, I noticed after I submitted the story that there were a few errors. This story was one of the first stories that I wrote on this app so I'm learning how to proofread my work & fix anything that needs fixing.

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TJ Squared
02:50 Feb 23, 2021

cool! Well, let me know if you ever want me to critique a certain story, I'd be happy to

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Jade Orien🍀
04:10 Feb 23, 2021

Thank you

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TJ Squared
04:11 Feb 23, 2021

no problem!

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