"Just say it," you silently reminded yourself. You knew you'd regret it if you didn’t. 

"Okay, listen, I won't repeat this...," you were trying your best to come up with a straight face, yet you clenched your fists and you were covered with cold sweat before you knew it.

"Just let me go, I won't plead anymore, either I will kill you or you let me go," you finally let the words escape your mouth.

The maid who stood in front you, shook in surprise. She was almost your age and you two shared childhood memories; Vienna and you shared a bond of a wild rose.

She stepped in finally, "Look miss, I won't let you leave this place, it's my duty to protect you and I am obliged to follow...," you hissed and interrupted her usual speech,

"Im his daughter, so wouldn’t you be considering my demands also?

Whatever, you can no longer deceive me, I will no longer trust you." Vienna let go of your hand and followed your words silently, in utter despise. "And sometimes you have to turn a blind eye on things…" you continued and waited for her response.

Yet Vienna didn’t respond at all, suddenly she walked around and grabbed your arm and held you tightly.

"Oh, I see... I don’t give a darn about the rules , I'll handle this my way, you should know that I won't spare any little mouse who gets in my way," she was behind you but you could feel the tense of her burning desire and her warm hands were pressing hard against your neck.

You expected this much so you waited calmly, until the right moment comes, to stab her with your small knife hidden beneath your waist.

"It is time now," you flashed the words and at the same time stabbed her with the small knife.

" Don’t worry, this much won't kill you, next time we meet, I'll make sure to pierce right into your heart," you left hastily with the nasty remark.


You, Yerma, the only daughter of the most affluent family, never dreamt of feeling loved or secured, and thought that true love existed, until you found out that Vienna's venomous actions differed from her sugar-coated words. Books were the only source which helped you survive. It helped you to escape from reality and to live in a calming world.

Your mom suddenly left this world because of an unknown disease and from that day onwards, you grew up with Vienna. You thought you didn’t belong here, so you always wanted to escape this shabby house. Yet, Vienna's friendship and her soothing words always delayed your moves. But now, finally, you escaped for good.

You continued walking endlessly. Passing the forest was not that easy. You kept on walking, but the urge to at least have a sip of water made it worse. While walking you saw a small hut, you moved nearer.

"Even if I stay out of this place, I'll die out soon, without anything to consume. Let's just.. Hello!! Anyone here??? " you stepped in and found some burnt fire woods inside and the place was empty without any soul.

After a moment, you heard some voices and footsteps approaching you. Their shadows grew larger, 3 people you assumed, and they finally saw you.

" Hello! Welcome! I found this tent, thought someone has left it, you are welcomed in too!" you managed to arrange some words in order.

" Girl, this is no time to welcome us. WE ARE THE OWNERS !!! What do you think you are doing? Get out of here, NOW! " one person yelled at you, while the lady among them, stood still staring at you.

"No need! ," the lady finally evoked her voice. " You can stay with us, help us with hunting too! " she added.

" What? You insane woman? We couldn’t hunt anything for weeks, and soon it'll be Winter. How come she'll be any help?? Plus, can she even hunt?" questioned the man in a roaring voice. Soon after, he dragged her to a side and complained in a despicable tone.

" I have a plan, trust me." that’s all she said and she silently sat near the fire woods to burn some fire.

 The man had no choice, he just left the tent in rage after glaring at her for a while.

" I am sorry about this, I'll leave soon, give me two days, you are so kind! " you made yourself calm down a bit and continued staring at the fire.

"No worries dear, stay as long as you like, have some milk," her warm words helped you realize that, there can be angels in this world too.

The other small boy came near you, with a small bag. He sat beside you and kept it loose. With a small rumbling sound, something tiny like a fur ball, crawled out.

" A cub? What a puppy? What in the world?? " you were so surprised and pleased at the same time.

And the small boy said, "food" and left my side.

The small puppy, hardly could breathe, it was hardly beaten, you restrained yourself of questioning 'why?’. Then you took him in your arms and withdrew to a warm spot to take a nap.

You woke up in the middle of your nap to hear their conversation. " I told you I have a plan, we'll kill this pup tomorrow and later on, her, where can we find anything to eat anyway."

" That lady, she is going to..!!?" you tried to control your trembling legs you closed your eyes tightly, you thought they were nice, but it is not. Now saving your life was the most important thing, you thought of leaving at dawn. Even if you have to kill someone.

You woke up, turned a bit to see all the three inhumane people were sleeping tightly, you slowly started to get up, took the pup and moved gradually, as if you are walking above lava.

"Food?" you heard the familiar voice and turned back, to see the boy is awake and looking at you.

"oh god heavens," you froze, but you managed to run outside, as the kid just didn’t do anything other than staring at you.


You started running as fast as you could. Soon you were out of breath, so you hid under a tree with the small pup. While panting you, you looked at the sky, the white clouds were roaming throughout the bright sky, "only if I could feel light like them and disappear," you closed your eyes.

" Not only you, a lot of people are searching for the purpose of life and are yearning for true love, or else if you feel lonely and cornered, you might feel like disappearing too, yet, there is a cure for a broken inside,"

" what is it? " you asked promptly.

"It's LOVE, it has healing power you know, I wish one day soon, you'll be healed too." stated the voice.

You finally realized that you were not talking to yourself, "who in the world am I talking to??? " you panicked and turned around to see, if those people followed you, but no one was around.

"A talking puppy?" he was sitting next to you looking at you in awe.

"You got half wrong, I'm a talking Wolf cub!!" said him.

"Oh my… I've never met... How in the world…!!??" you were so surprised, and you couldn’t even finish your sentences.

"Really? For the first time in life? There are lot of creatures like me in the forest...

I am Lynn. Nice to meet you, my friend……?"

"It's Yerma," you remarked.

"Yerma! Thank you so much, for saving me from them, if not I could have been dead meat right now," his blue eyes were glowing and he was grinning enough for you to see his sharp teeth.

"No problem, I am glad that we both are safe, I need to find a place to stay ... Hmm… let me see…"

Lynn jumped in front of you, "why don’t you go home?" he asked urgently.

"Home? I am running away from home!" said you laughing.

"I know!"

"You know?"

"Yeah, go back before Vienna kills your father..." Lynn sighed and turn away.

"You know Vienna?? " you asked back.

"Yes of course, she lived in the forest before, she is a witch, she heard that your father is left with gold- from your death mother, so she went to the city immediately," explained Lynn.

"So, she is after gold? Ha... Her actions were fishy enough, so I thought something was off.

 What a witch! She wants to kill us all! Let's go back then, we need to save papa, can you show me the way, please"

"no problem," you started following Lynn.


"Welcome back dear," said someone who opened the door for you.

You were so delighted that your father safe, you ran and hugged him tightly. "Papa, I am back! are you alright? Vienna..."

"Yes, Vienna, I have news for you," continued your father.

" Did she leave papa?" you asked eagerly.

" No my dear, my mistress, I want to introduce your new mom, Vienna,

we are hoping to get married soon my dear!" exclaimed your father pressing your palms softly.

Then Vienna arrived, dressed in an elegant, purple dress. She came near you and gave you a welcome hug, "You are back with some Lynn my dear, it seems like you got to know me better! But don’t worry, he is no match for me, and I'll marry your father soon, if he goes against my wishes, I'll have to kill him too, " she whispered softly.

Then she let Yerma go.

"Papa, listen to me, she is evil, she will kill you, you can't marry her… please." your eyes were heavy with tears, and your cheeks were warm with burning fear and anger.

"My love, I love her, she could be evil, yeah, as she stole my heart!" replied her father happily.

"Lynn lets go to my room," you left your father without any more words, you ran away as you felt drowsy enough with endless tears. You welcomed a goodnight sleep that night.

Soon enough you had to wake up, Lynn woke up too, "It's time to wake up milady, I will send you to someplace nice..." some voice echoed inside your mind. It was, Vienna.

"Vienna! " you were paralyzed and you felt heavier than ever in your drained body.

 At that moment, Vienna flashed in towards you with her dark aura. Suddenly there was a thud and Vienna rolled and fell over.

"Lynn! NO!" you screamed. It was too late. Lynn came in to fight with Vienna, with another blow.

"You little idiot, how dare you!!" Vienna gained her strength and stood up and zoomed towards Lynn. Lynn didn’t stop either. Next second, Lynn was flying hard towards the wall. He hit the edge of the table, until it pierced and appeared Infront his chest.

"STOPPPPP! KILL ME INSTEAD! YOU NEED ME! NOT LYNN!" you fought with your body, trying to get up.

 Your palms were drenched with sweat and your heart was beating thousand times faster, yet you charged towards Vienna. Once again, you were showed away. You knew you could kill her this time, you took your small knife and marched forward.

Forthwith, someone opened the doors of your room. "Papa, " you yelled and reached towards him.

" See, Papa, as I told you she is a witch, she wants to kill me, Lynn is drowned in blood papa, please stop her." you begged him. "This is so annoying; what do you think you are doing? You can kill her, but you have to be quiet at least!" shrugged your father.

You couldn’t believe your Papas words. "Papa, YOU wanted to… KILL …MEEE??" , you barely muttered in disbelief, while all the warmth in your body started to increase like flame. And still you couldn’t believe what you heard.

Your father left the room in a second.

"See! Your father wanted to kill me as well! What a twist hah?!" Vienna hissed and the next second, you fell. You felt numb, yet you could feel your bloody hands, and your aching body was yearning for your soul to stay longer. You rolled over near Lynn, who was almost cold as ice.

 "Papa…" that was your last words. 


You opened your eyes, you ran your hands over body to see any wounds, yet it was weird, everything felt perfectly fine.

You dressed up yourself and went downstairs to see Vienna is making you toast with cheese and some warm milk.

"Good morning milady, your breakfast is ready," said Vienna in a bright smile.

"Wait, what? She forgot what happened? Or is this another strategy?

She wants to poison me with food this time???!!" you spoke lowly, and rapidly, and trying to figure out the current situation.

"Are you okay? Should I get you some tea for you? You look tired and anxious myla…" Yerma interrupted, "Do not worry, I am good, oh, I love toast, thank you."

" I get it now, that was a long vivid dream, now I exactly know what's going to happen, bring it on Vienna.

This time I won't lose to you, no matter what!" you susurrated with a smirk.

(wild rose symbolizes sisterhood)

****************************************************************************************************THE END***********

June 24, 2020 09:27

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Ella Bartal
21:32 Jul 01, 2020

Alright, I got to this story from the critique circle email and I must say that I like it! I like the pace of your story and the overall feel of it. Very classic fantasy story. I do have two things that you might want to pay attention to: 1. Grammar- I know this can be difficult. I don't know if you are a native English speaker or not (I'm not), but it was a little difficult to understand at times what was going on because of the grammar. 2. There were a lot of things going on, moving from one place to another (which is common in fairy ta...


Avishi Perera
08:55 Jul 02, 2020

Thank you so much for your honest feedback. Yeah, you were quite right about my grammar and I made a lot of mistakes here too. I thought I'll improve if I keep on writing. Also if you don't mind, please use my story and show me somewhere that I should fix specifically. As it is a bit confusing to me. And it'll be really helpful to me. PS: I'll check out your story too!


Ella Bartal
09:52 Jul 02, 2020

Grammar can definitely be tough to master, but practice makes perfect! Keep writing. Anyway, I think the introduction can use a little improvement. It's a little bit messy to just be thrown into this confrontation without any context. I think that maybe giving some background (like the part about growing up with the maid instead of the mother) in the beginning can give some more context. It just felt quite rushed. In general about the grammar, I think your vocabulary is good, but the sentence structure needs some work. There's this sente...


Avishi Perera
13:02 Jul 02, 2020

Sure. I better re edit it. And start working on grammar too. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it 😊


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Avishi Perera
16:37 Jul 03, 2020

I made some changes in this para as it sounded complicated to me too. *You, Yerma, the only daughter of the most affluent family, never dreamt of feeling loved or secured. After mom’s sudden death, you were left with your loving father and the maid; Vienna. Vienna was there when you fell off from the cliff to help you up, to prepare your meals day and night and to keep on company when you felt like having a walk past the bizarre forest nearby. You believed her to the point that fairy godmothers existed in real life. Soon, reality ...


Ella Bartal
18:02 Jul 03, 2020

I think that's better. Makes more sense to me.


Avishi Perera
19:25 Jul 03, 2020

Thank you! ( ◜‿◝ )


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