The End to a Beginning

Juno's fingers hovered over the keyboards of her laptop, an old model-like companion that's been with her ever since she moved away from home a handful of years ago. With her bottom lip snug and tucked underneath her teeth, Juno flexed her fingers, a very sad attempt to move, to keep typing, to put an end to the sentence that would inevitably end the novel.

There were only so many more words she needed to complete the chapter, even less when it came to entirety of her novel. It all came down to 100-something-thousand words, and she was only a

few letters away from finishing.

It'd be a stamp of completion, the very same one she was looking forward to since chapter two. She'd finally be able to breathe with ease without any tension coiling in her head, and she’d be able to stretch away the heaviness that settled over her shoulders every time she sat down to write.

Staying up throughout the entire night wouldn’t feel as much of a chore – she’d be sleep deprived willingly!

Even knowing all of this, when she could practically relish in the freedom that was to come, she still couldn't understand the hesitation to connect the pad of her fingers on the faded keys.

The bane of her existence, the culprit for her many breakdowns could be dialed back to chapter six, but that chapter was done weeks ago. It took weeks to even finish, but these last few sentences would take nothing more than just a few seconds to type, even less considering the words were there on the brink of existence if she would just press her finger down and―

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Juno finally huffed in frustration, throwing her hands up in exasperation before they fell down beside her crossed legs in defeat. She pouted at the screen and slumped further down into her mattress.

“This is ridiculous,” she mumbled to herself, her brows furrowing.

“Who’s ridiculous?” A voice called from the entrance of the bathroom. Juno didn’t have to take a glance to notice Devin leaning against the doorframe with a towel bunched in her hands to collect the moisture dripping at the ends of her long hair.

“Me,” Juno said darkly, her eyes now narrowed at the screen. “I’m ridiculous.”

Devin hummed low in her throat and felt the corner of her lips tug into a mischievous grin. “Isn’t that just a daily occurrence, though?” She remarked innocently.

When Juno didn’t bite back, like she always did, Devin’s hand came to a stop. She draped the towel around her shoulder, crossed her arms against her chest and studied the side of Juno’s face.

It didn’t take much effort for Devin to figure out that something was bothering her. Juno was as easy to read as the books she wrote. There was the pinch between her brows, the childish pout on her mouth, and her expression was clearly contorted in annoyance.

If Juno wasn’t so sullen, Devin would have laughed at the sight.

Instead, Devin tossed the towel on the back of a chair and moved towards Juno, whose eyes were glued stubbornly to the screen.

“Alright,” Devin sighed when she eventually moved into a comfortable spot right next to her. “What’s wrong? Why the pout?"

The cue was enough to make Juno burst at the seams.

“I literally just need a few more words to finish and I can’t do it! It’s the single-most frustrating thing in the universe, and this isn’t even chapter six!” Juno cried.

Devin raised a hand to her mouth and gasped. “It’s not even chapter six?”

Juno gave her a sharp glare, one that Devin grinned back at.

“I’m serious! I’ve been working on this thing for ages, and right when I’m about to finish, I can’t. Why can’t I?” She turned towards Devin, throwing the question at her as if she had all the answers she needed, which she usually did, though Juno would never dare to admit it so openly to someone like her.

Juno shook her head at herself.

“This should be the most exciting day of my life,” she tried to reason to herself, or to Devin, she wasn’t sure, “—I’m about to finish months of work, but here I am being ridiculous.”

“How much do you have left?” Devin asked with a curious lilt.

Juno motioned for her to look at her screen before she slumped further into the pillows behind her and folded her arms in defiance at the repetitive flash of the text cursor mocking her at the end of her unfinished sentence.

Devin blinked in surprise.

The sentence was nearly done.

“Wow, you really are being ridiculous.”

Juno scoffed and pressed the heel of her hands to her eyes. Devin watched her before rolling her eyes and taking Juno’s hands into her own.

“I’m kidding, babe,” Devin soothed with a gentle smile. “But I think you know why you’re struggling so much, especially with something so little. And I’m sure that reason isn’t ridiculous in the slightest.”

She gave Juno a meaningful look, one that Juno wanted to shrink under, because Devin was right; the source of her problems was layered under her vehement denial that her fear stemmed from putting an end to her book, her only child.

As intimidating as Devin’s look was, Juno didn’t flinch away. She leaned into her, letting the side of her head fall on her shoulder that was perfectly positioned right next to her.

Devin stayed silent and opted to watch her, hoping to catch a glimpse of the cogs working in her head, which were definitely working overtime.

For the past few months, Juno’s entire life centered around this novel, her very first, and scarily, maybe her very last one depending on how well it sold, which was another fear entirely, but it wasn’t the one that kept making her hesitate.

Whether or not it found success outside the confinements of her laptop and the four walls of their bedroom didn’t really matter to her, though she knew that it should considering this was a part of her livelihood, but there was a very real part of her that knew that her hesitance was because she didn’t knew what would come next.

After all this time, everything Juno knew were multiple detailed outlines for every single chapter that was expected to flourish by her own creation. She always knew what was going where and at what time, and she reveled in the amount of control and ease that came with preparation.

There was no outline for afterwards, success or not.

“What if what comes next isn’t as good this? Then what do I do?” Juno mumbled soft against Devin’s shoulder. It wasn’t the oddest thing in the world to see Juno so down on herself. It was a heavy contrast to Devin’s own character dripping with confidence and self-assurance, and it used to make her nose wrinkle in disgust.

Now it was amusing. At best.

“You keep writing,” Devin finally replied with a firm nod of her head. “And then you’ll write some more until something new happens.”

It would have sounded lame coming out of anyone else’s mouth, but with Devin’s finger playing with the strands of Juno’s bangs and the familiar register of her husky voice that Juno was so fond of, the words serves as nothing more than a whisper of comfort.

“That sounds horrible,” Juno mourned.

“You love it, though.”

“So do you,” Juno couldn’t help to bite back. Devin chuckled, but Juno kept the dramatics on as she sighed theatrically. “You, the lawyer stuck in her politics and paperwork, in love with me, the tortured artist—”

“Oh, here we go,” Devin sighed just as theatrically.

Juno gave her a toothy grin, but it fell when she remembered just where she was; stuck, slumped, and ridiculous, all at the mercy of a few words and an inevitable end she had to finish or else her editor would have her head on a pike.

“It’ll be okay, babe,” Devin said. “This isn’t going to be the last time you’ll write. Just watch, you’ll be full to the brim with ideas at four in the morning just like you did back then for this one.”

“I’ll miss them,” Juno suddenly said, deciding to argue weakly one last time. “My characters—I’ll miss writing them. How can I let my children go so easily? It’s a harsh world out there, Dev. Have you ever seen the kind of fan-art they make? Not safe for work is a thing, you know!”

Devin’s brow quirked up in amusement. “Bold of you to assume that there’ll be fan-art of this.”

Juno scoffed. “If I’m going to be ridiculous, then I’m going all out. Besides,” she added with a wide grin that was very much Juno, “my children deserve the best.”

Devin rolled her eyes, but she leaned forward to pat at the spot above her heart anyways. “They’ll always be here, safe and sound and untarnished by that cursed fan-art."

Juno face twisted in distaste. “That’s so cheesy, even for me.”

“The gouda type?” Devin asked with an air of innocence.

Juno groaned and pushed Devin away with a playful shove at her shoulder. “Okay, ew, get away from me. I get it already, so go away.”

Devin leaned away, but she looked at Juno with a serious look, but not one that lacked sympathy. She wouldn’t be able to understand, not really anyways, and they both knew that, but the idea of an end to something that once felt so new was something she could cling to.

“I’m proud of you, Juno. And you should be, too.”

Devin pinched at Juno’s cheek affectionately, and when Juno naturally swatted her hand away without malice, Devin kissed the side of her, nuzzled her nose into her hair before she finally pulled away.

“After you’re done, let’s go get a cake or something, to celebrate the end of your first, finished book,” she called over her shoulder with one last smile.

Juno watched her walk out of the room with a brief, fond smile before her gaze eventually slid to the screen waiting on her lap. There was nothing left but the hum of her computer and the light fall of the pain that pattered against her bedroom window.

It took a while for her to straighten up to her original position, and it took a little longer to finish where she left off. If she was going to take her time writing the last finishing touches of her book, the very least she could do was to make sure it was as perfect as she wanted it to be.

She chewed on her lip before the sound of typing filled the room.

It clicked, and it clacked, until it eventually stopped.

And when Juno leaned back and eyed the last few pages with a sharp eye, her fingers hovered comfortably on top of her keyboard, a feel of ease and a strange type of triumph bulking her confidence until she finally kicked her feat in excitement.

Just as the excitement numbed, Juno smiled despite the fresh tears prickling the corner of her eyes, blurring the words together on her screen. Her eyes caught on to the last two words, bittersweet and definite, at the very bottom of the page before her smile widened.

THE END.