A Box in the Hall

A lone cardboard box stood in front of her in the blue carpeted hall. It was filled with wrapped Christmas presents and baby shower gifts. Reluctantly I dragged it in, and recoiled at the sight of a handwritten note. Her hands started shaking as fat tears roll down my face. Her fiancée held her close. All it did was tell her that we are not talking to you anymore and you did us wrong. her eyebrows twitched angrily. How was she the bad guy when you were.

How could you tell me that when you threw my ultrasound aside and told me I was an idiot. You felt no regret as you denounced your unborn grandchild. Alas you told me I will not ever help you. Funny you were in the same situation when you were my age, except this time it was not an accident. How dare you yell at my fiancée and tell him he told you nothing. The questions were never asked. The sad fact is that he was the first one to accept me for me. You never did.

People stop talking to one because you made them cry all night alone. You told a foster child that you were her mother now and told her to stop crying. In fact that she could not cry anymore for her birth mother. Her pain was real when she was told she was not going to see her anymore. Her final memory of her birth mother was waving to her from the back of the car. What about the dinners that were a comedy roast about how she failed at everything. You called her stupid, too sensitive and annoying. One time she was told that she was not even wanted, so she felt like she was a pile of dirt. Each time she was told she should be more like her sisters.

Did you ever say thank you to her for keeping the house together and watching her handicapped brother? Day and night she gave you her heart, and you stomped on it. She would work until it was time to make dinner, which you would always hate. Did you ever say good job for always being on the honor roll? She worked hard just here you say good job and you did not. No, instead you congratulate her sister for not failing. She was in a glass box banging on the walls, begging to be heard.

When it came to time to drive, you told her finish driver's education first. She watched everyone else get there driving slip. You told her she would crash the car just like the snowmobile. Then her sister had to watch as you learned, making her nervous. When her sister drove she only got compliments. She was ready, but you sold her car and did not have time.

Did you thank her for being your emotional punching bag? Your anger when you got home was always directed at her. How dare you yell at her for not doing something you did not tell her to do? So many times everyone just yelled at her just because she was there. Her esteem crumbled to that of nonexistent, eventually forcing to want to kill herself. All because she was told was stupid, and too much of a failure to accomplish her dreams. Every dream, you told her she was not good enough for it. Darkness filled her thoughts till she was pushed to the edge of suicide. There was days where she just did not want to live.

She looked as you wanted to, but the emotional bruises were inside her dark mind. Each morning hot tears would flow down her face in the front of the bus. The bottle finally burst open one day at school, and she collapsed to her knees. Life had finally pushed her to her limits. You destroyed her that morning to the point where she died inside. She just cried on the floor for ten minutes while everyone else ran away.

Holidays are burned to ashes for what you did. Every birthday, you made her share with her handicapped brother. You simply tucked her in the corner while everyone watched him open presents. No one looked at her , and if she asked for attention she was a dick. Yelling at her in front of everyone only made her feel worse and out of place. On the day after her nineteenth birthday, you kicked her out. The welcome mat was ripped out from beneath her feet. Every Christmas her pile was a molehill, while everyone else had a mountain. You always told her we ran out of money for your gifts. She just smiled and said thank you anyways. Her family holiday party was the highlight of her year and you only stayed for twenty minutes. Yet that her small bit of joy every year.

What did you do when she called? You only said I am too busy or your sister is calling. Finally she went radio silent, and you got mad. Your control was lost blowing in the wind. You cut her out of your insurance leaving her to find five hundred dollars so she could be healthy. She needed those pills for her sickness, which you ignored. You always ignored her like always.

She left you, but you left a hollow shell. Happiness does not happen so easily to her. Apologies fly from her mouth as frequently as someone says hello. Fear fills her everyday as she does not want to lose the ones she loves. She will never be comfortable in her skin and anxiety rules her life. She feels like an alien in this world. She never learned how to smile and how to laugh. Hugs and I love you were foreign to her. Yet she grew stronger. She still may not smile and laugh a lot, but she appreciates everything in her life. So again, she left you, not you leaving her. Her silence freed her from you. She is great mother who says I love you every day, and hugs her children. She will be fine. She knows her bruises will never show. Keep your hatred and poison away from her family.