The Antique Roadshow Brawl

Written in response to: Set your story at an antique roadshow.... view prompt

0 comments

Fiction Funny

It was just another day at the Antique Roadshow, and the line of eager treasure-hunters snaked around the block. People from all over the city had come to show off their prized possessions and see if they were sitting on a goldmine. But little did they know, things were about to get a lot more interesting.

As the doors opened and the crowd surged forward, there was a sudden commotion at the back of the line. Two women were arguing, their voices rising in anger as they each tried to outdo the other.

"I found this vase at a yard sale for five bucks!" shouted the first woman, a middle-aged housewife with a determined glint in her eye. "And I know it's worth at least a thousand!"

"Well, I found this teapot at an estate sale for two bucks!" shot back the second woman, a spunky retiree with a mischievous grin. "And I'm pretty sure it's worth twice that!"

The argument went back and forth, each woman growing more agitated by the second. And then, suddenly, one of them made a fatal mistake. She reached out and grabbed the other woman's prized possession.

It was like a switch had been flipped. The other woman's eyes narrowed, and her face twisted into a mask of fury. "You don't touch my stuff!" she bellowed, her voice echoing through the crowded hall.

And then, before anyone could react, they were grappling with each other, knocking over displays and sending antiques flying in all directions. People gasped and shouted, trying to separate the two women as they swung wildly at each other, their fists connecting with a sickening thud.

It was chaos, pure and simple. The crowd scattered, ducking behind tables and diving for cover as the fight raged on. It was like watching a scene from a bad action movie, complete with crashing sounds, flying debris, and screaming bystanders.

And yet, even in the midst of all this madness, there was a strange sense of humor. People couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, the way these two women had turned a quiet antique roadshow into a full-blown brawl.

One man, a portly collector with a twinkle in his eye, leaned over to his wife and whispered, "Looks like the antiques aren't the only things that have appreciated in value today!"

And another woman, a trendy hipster with a wry smile, quipped, "I think I just found my new favorite reality show: 'Antique Smackdown'!"

But even as people chuckled and joked, the fight continued, escalating into a full-on battle that seemed to defy all reason. It was like watching a pair of animals in the wild, locked in a death struggle over a prized piece of prey.

And then, finally, it was over. The two women lay panting on the ground, bruised and battered but still seething with anger. A group of security guards rushed over, separating them and pulling them apart before things could get even more out of hand.

As the crowd slowly began to filter out, shaking their heads and exchanging incredulous glances, the two women were led away in opposite directions, still shouting and cursing at each other with all their might.

It was a surreal moment, one that would be talked about for years to come. And yet, in a strange way, it felt like a reminder of the absurdity of life, the way even the most seemingly mundane things can turn into something wild and unpredictable.

As people filed out of the hall, still laughing and shaking their heads, one thing was clear: the Antique Roadshow would never be the same again. From that day on, the organizers knew they had to up their security game to avoid another antique smackdown.

The incident also inspired a new line of merchandise - "I survived the Antique Roadshow brawl" t-shirts and mugs sold out within days, proving that people are always looking for a good story to tell.

But the best part of the whole debacle was the reaction of the appraisers. They couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all, and some even started making jokes about needing to wear helmets and body armor to work.

One appraiser, an older gentleman with a twinkle in his eye, quipped, "I always knew antiques could be valuable, but I never realized they could be so...combative!"

Another appraiser, a young woman with a quick wit, chimed in, "I think we need to start including a self-defense class with every appraisal, just in case things get ugly."

And with that, the Antique Roadshow brawl became a legend, a story that would be retold and embellished over the years, growing more absurd and hilarious with each passing day.

So the next time you're at an antique roadshow and things start to get heated, just remember - it's all part of the fun. And who knows, maybe you'll even get a good story out of it.

But despite the humorous aftermath of the Antique Roadshow brawl, it wasn't all fun and games. The two women who had started the fight were banned from future events, and they soon became the butt of many jokes and memes on social media.

However, as time passed, both women came to realize the error of their ways. They issued apologies and tried to make amends with each other, recognizing that their obsession with material possessions had caused them to lose sight of what was truly important in life.

In fact, they both decided to donate their prized possessions to charity, realizing that the true value of antiques lay not in their monetary worth but in the stories they held and the memories they evoked.

And so, in a strange way, the Antique Roadshow brawl had a positive impact on everyone involved. The organizers beefed up security and tightened their regulations while the appraisers learned to take things a little less seriously.

And as for the two women, they discovered a newfound sense of perspective and humility, realizing that life is too short to get caught up in petty arguments and materialistic obsessions.

Years later, they would both look back on the incident with embarrassment and amusement, recognizing that sometimes the craziest moments in life can also be the most valuable.

And as for the Antique Roadshow itself, it continued on, attracting crowds of eager collectors and treasure-hunters from all over the world. But there was a new sense of camaraderie and levity in the air, a recognition that sometimes the most valuable things in life aren't the objects we collect, but the experiences we share with others.

And so, in a way, the Antique Roadshow brawl became a symbol of the human experience - messy, unpredictable, and occasionally hilarious. But always worth the ride.

April 06, 2023 19:51

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.