When You showed Me Love

"Jessie, wait!"

The door slammed into my face before I could tell her that she forgot my copy of "The Maze Runner" by James Dashner. A book I never got to finish. Now I'll never know if the characters made it out of the maze alive. I hope Chuck wasn't the one who died. I guess I could always buy another copy but, knowing that's how Jessie and I met in the first place. Forget it. I guess I could get into another book series. And just like that it rains. Hard. So I decided to get into my car as quickly as I could, only to trip and fall on my box of belongings. Well, that's just great. I get into my car and angrily shove my box into the back seat. And before I started my car, I screamed. I screamed as hard as I could, hitting the steering wheel with my fists. I must have screamed too loud though as I now see Jessie in my peripheral vision, just shaking her head at me and closing her curtains afterwards.

Whatever.

Our relationship only ended because according to her "You're not paying enough attention to me!" Well, how can I when I have work? I mean, how can survive if I don't have a job and a roof over my head? And it's not like I don't try to see her often. I do! But apparently seeing her twice a week isn't good enough for her! I thought calling her every night would at least make up for that but, I guess not.

It was still kind of early when I got home. So I decided to collapse into my bed face first and just stayed there, or maybe video games will make things better?

It was bright when I woke up. I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep on my laptop. I check my phone thinking I would get a "Good morning" text from Jessie. Oh right, Jessie. I check my

phone anyways to see if anyone messaged me. Nothing. I groaned and turned on my back. I sighed as I decided to change my Facebook relationship status to "single". I dropped my phone on the floor and stared at the ceiling. What am I going to do now? The ceiling had no answer. So I stared at it until it did. Hours passed by as I laid there.

My phone beeps as it notifies me of messages from Facebook. How annoying. So I rolled over to reach my phone and put it on silent. There.

I laid in bed a little longer before realizing I should get up.

Nope.

I guess I won't get out of bed today.

For the next few months, I mainly stayed in bed. The few times I got up were only to eat and maybe shower. I still went to work but, my performance went down a bit. Okay it went down a lot. So what? I just got my heart broken, cut me some slack, okay! The same goes for my appearance. I let my hair and beard grow out. What's the point anymore? This almost got me fired. So I decided to shower more often and got my hair cut as well as shave my beard. I still didn't eat very much.

Since my relationship ended, I felt empty inside; I can still feel this huge void in me that only a girlfriend can fill. I used to have Jessie by my side but now that she isn't, I've been like an empty shell.

Recently, I been trying to feel better. Working harder and escaping reality by playing online games. Sometimes it works but, only a little bit.

It was a Saturday morning when I heard a cat meowing at my door. I tried to ignore it by putting a pillow over my head. Unfortunately, I could still hear it's incessant meowing that seems to be getting louder and louder by the moment. Stupid animal, I'm trying to sleep here!

I get up to go open my door to see what it wanted. When I opened the door, I saw a black cat with a dead butterfly in it's mouth. How disgusting. I was about to tell it to go away when it drops the dead butterfly on my bare feet.

"Ack! What the!" I stepped back and fell on my butt.

The cat looked confused as I got up to get a paper towel from the kitchen to pick up the dead butterfly and threw it in the trash can. I looked at the cat who was still sitting at my porch.

"Was that a metaphorical commentary on my life?"

The cat tilted it's head in response.

"Okay" I said as I slowly closed the door on it as I was so not in the mood.

The next morning I hear it meowing at my door again.

"What do you want this time?" I said as I opened the door. The cat drops yet another "gift" in front of me. At least this time it didn't drop it on my foot.

"Oh. How lovely" I said very sarcastically.

It meows at me.

"I don't want your so called 'gifts'. Please stop"

And for the rest of the day, I thought it left me for good.

Nope.

For the next few months, this freaking cat comes by every morning and gives me a "gift" to throw away. I even make sure that it sees me doing that and it still does it! Why cat? Why?

I know it sounds like I hate cats but, I don't. I just hate that it keeps doing this to me. I mean when is it going to understand that I don't like dead animals on my porch? Or anywhere at all for that matter.

Eventually, I get tired of this whole situation and just close the door on it after seeing what it brought me. Until one day, I see that it brought me something different. It was a tiny bell with a ribbon.

"Huh? Well, that's new." The cat pushes it with it's head towards me.

"You want me to put it on you?"

It meows a few times.

"Okay then" I wrapped the ribbon around it's neck while it was purring.

When I was done putting the ribbon around it's neck, I noticed how soft it was. So I petted it a little. It purred even louder.

"You don't have an owner, do you? I see you every morning and no one's told me if they lost a cat, or something." The cat just looks at me, eyes dilated.

I guess it really likes me.

I have been getting used to it's presence now and I do hate not having guests. It's not like I haven't invited my friends over but, they always seem busy. So, we try to play online games sometimes. Hours and hours of online gaming which was fun, but then it got tedious. So I stopped and now it's been a few weeks since I've had actual human contact that doesn't involve work.

I look at the cat who's still on my porch. Maybe I could take it in? On the one hand I'll have someone to talk to. Even though it won't be able to talk back to me in a way that I could understand but, whatever. On the other hand though, I'll be seen as a crazy cat guy. The cat rubs against my legs so, I pet it again. I guess I could let the cat decide for me. Heh, a cat deciding things for me.

"Do you want to live with me? I mean you've been coming here everyday and it's not like I feed you. I just close the door on you and that's it. I don't even say 'hi' to you and yet you still come back hoping for a different response to your 'gifts' each time but, I mean things could be different between you and I. I could let you in and take care of you since no one else seems to and I don't want to be the bad guy here and let you think this is how humans respond to cats, if you even know that you're a cat. I mean I guess you do since you obviously act like one and I do like cats. So if you want, you can come live with me. Or not. I mean do you think it's weird that I wouldn't mind letting you live here even though" The cat doesn't even let me finish talking and just walks in.

"Can I finish my sentence!" The cat continues to ignore me.

"Rude!"

When I let Smudge into my life and yes, that's what I named her. What? A guy can't have a soft spot? Anyways, I realized something. How do you take care of a cat?

It took me a couple days of online research. Seems easy enough. I took her to the vet and fed her everyday. Didn't know cats were so energetic. R.I.P. my poor furniture. You were the first to go when I let her in that day. So I bought her toys and learned that you could take cats on walks. She hated it. Got scratched the first few weeks. Ouch! She thankfully got used to it after that. She started to like it more to the point where she would sit on my face at five in the morning until I woke up just so we could go on a walk. So now we go on walks twice a day. I tried taking her on longer walks in the

evenings thinking she would be too tired in the morning so that I could sleep in until I had to get ready for work. Nope, that just made it worse. I thought cats slept a lot but, I guess I got the one cat who prefers to be awake a lot. Just my luck!

It's not all bad though. When she's not acting like "Sleep is for the weak!", she can be an affectionate cat. She sits on my lap and watches T.V. with me. She really likes the fighting scenes and chirps each time. Sometimes she meows at me like she's having an actual conversation with me. So I respond to her back. I'll even ask for her opinion on what we're watching and she'll either purr or meow in response. I'm always in a hurry to get ready for work. No thanks to our morning walks. So I give her dry food and a bowl of water. I feel bad though because it's gross. So I make it up to her at dinner time with Fancy Feast and let her sit at the table and- Oh my god I'm a crazy cat guy!

Thankfully I leave the curtains closed at night because if anyone saw me like this, I can say goodbye to all human interaction. I mean seriously! I even light candles and ask Smudge how her day was! I mean who does that!

Anyways, I was watching late night T.V. with Smudge when this ad shows up. It was about a new dating site. It talked about how "The one" is out there for me. Right, it sounds like a scheme to me.

I looked at Smudge.

"Don't you you think all dating sites are all the same and that they're all full of lies?"

She looked at me with these big eyes and bit my hand.

Hard.

"Ow! Smudge! Stop doing that! Bad cat! Bad!" She didn't stop though.

She just pulled my hand and I saw that she was pulling me towards my laptop. I think she was trying to tell me that I should start dating again.

"Smudge I-I can't. I just can't"

While Jessie was rarely on my mind these days, I don't know if I could find someone better. Smudge as usual ignored my protests and continued to pull me. She's so stubborn but, I'm bigger than her- is that blood!

"Dang it, Smudge! You're biting me too hard! Alright! Alright! I'll give this new dating site a try!"

Instead of letting go, she just headbutts my legs. So I let her push me towards my laptop. Thankfully my laptop was on the kitchen counter. I tended to my hand with a paper towel first. Smudge jumped onto the counter beside my laptop. Staring at me until I went to the site. I created my profile and added as much information about me as I could.

I started to lose hope as a few days went by with zero responses until I finally got a message. I was nervous but, I messaged back. She seemed alright, so we decided to meet, and as with all the

other dates, it was a huge disaster! What the heck! I thought I would at least get one good date. I sighed as I looked at the screen. Smudge decided to check up on me and decided to sit on my lap. I

looked her in the eyes.

"This is all your fault, you know?"

She gave me a bored look and looked at the list of potential failures. She looked so focused as I watched her for a moment. She then put a paw on a profile picture of a woman with black hair and green eyes. Her name was "Emily". I looked at Smudge.

"Are you sure?"

She blinked and purred.

"Okay, note to self: Don't tell Emily that it was my cat's idea."

Smudge growled at me.

"What? That would sound weird to her."

Smudge meowed a few times.

"She doesn't need to know that."

I messaged Emily and asked her on a date. I guess she just got online as I only waited a few minutes for her reply. She said yes.

This date was actually going well! We talked about our interests and found out that we had more things in common than we thought. We had a few disagreements about some things but, other than that it was great. We talked about our families and friends. I don't have much friends left at this point but, she was surprisingly okay with that. I listened to her talk about what kind of books she's read recently and got really into it. I'm glad that she's also a book worm, so I told her of the books I've read in the past. She smiled the entire time and laughed when I told her something funny. It was mesmerizing to watch her. I think I stopped in mid-sentence though because I suddenly feel her hand on mine.

"Are you feeling okay? You're kind of drifting off there"

I come back to reality and see concerned green eyes on me.

Those beautiful eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drift off into space like that."

I squeeze her hand in reassurance.

I looked at my watch and hoped that Smudge was okay without me. She squeezed my hand back.

“Are you sure? You're looking at your watch like you have somewhere else to be"

I nodded.

"Y-yeah. I'm just worried about my cat, Smudge. I've never been away from her this long since I've let her into my apartment."

She leans back into her chair .

"Oh."

Now I'm the one who's concerned.

"What's wrong?"

She looks at me with those sad eyes of hers.

"Nothing. It's just. I had a cat once."

She pauses for a moment. I leaned forward to let her know I was listening. She looked like she was about to cry, but continued regardless.

"I lost her a few months ago. I've looked everywhere for her. I tried putting up posters of her in the city I live in but, nobody's seen her. I even asked my family and friends to help me find her but even they couldn't find her!"

I leaned back in my chair and sighed.

I've seen posters like that before and always hoped that the owners would find their lost pets. I tried to keep the conversation going because I felt if she stopped talking that she would really cry this

time. Maybe that's what happened to Smudge because sometimes during the night after our walks, she would look out the window and stay there for awhile, like she's waiting for someone.

"I'm so sorry for your lost. Are you still looking for her?"

Emily shook her head.

"No, but sometimes I feel like she'll show up at my door. So I'll occasionally leave some cat food and a bowl of water on my porch but, so far, I've only seen other cats show up."

I sat up from my seat. I had an idea.

"What did she look like?"

She took out her phone and showed me an image of her. I was shocked to see that her cat looked a lot like Smudge.

"She looks just like Smudge!"

Emily looked at me in disbelief.

"What! There's no way."

I showed her an image of Smudge on my phone.

"That's my cat, Smokey!" She pointed at the image.

This made me realize that maybe Smudge was her cat but, I wanted to be completely sure. So, I thought about it for a moment and came up with another idea.

"Well, maybe that is your Smokey but, we won't know for sure until she sees you. Would you like to come over and see if she'll recognize you?"

She beams at the idea. I drove us to the apartment.

I opened the door and called out to Smudge.

"Smudge, we're home!"

I looked at Emily who looked very excited to see if my Smudge was in fact her Smokey. I told her to sit down on the couch. Smudge came into the room and saw Emily sitting there. She tilted her

head and ran towards her lap meowing loudly.

"Smokey!"

Emily held her in arms, crying.

"Smokey, I've been looking for you everywhere! I've missed you so much!"

I sat down next to Emily, who gave me a kiss on the cheek. I rubbed Smudge's head as she purred, rubbing her head against Emily's face. I was very happy to see their reunion. Especially because now Smudge has her real owner back.

I still get to see her every weekend though as Emily and I are still dating. I guess I can thank Smudge for that. I mean Smokey. We take Smokey on our evening walks and after our walk, we have

dinner with her. Candles and all.