Love, Lost and Found

Justine was a 35 year old married professional working in a sales capacity in an engineering firm and loved her job. She thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere there among all the young male engineers who were friendly and caring too. After 5 years, she felt pretty secure in her position and everyone enjoyed her outgoing personality, smiling face and helpful attitude. Her peers felt free to confide in her with their problems, but no one really knew deep dark inside of her, she harbored a secret. Her marriage was falling apart and she did not know what to do.

Her husband Bennett, was a successful, handsome, charming lawyer. He considered himself superior to Justine and made "no bones" about it. He put on a good front for everyone, even sending Justine flowers ,to the office to show how loving he was. The other girls were quite envious and told Justine that and she felt awful inside, thinking if they only knew the truth! Bennett was actually very insecure when it came to his relationship with Justine and he cross-examined her every night when she came home from work. He did not like her having a close working relationship with the men and going out to company lunches with them. He was very jealous and despite her honesty, he never trusted her. As time went on, it got worse and worse and he was berating her. He was verbally abusive and wanted her to quit, but she stood her ground and wouldn't. This infuriated him even more! Bennett had a temper and one night in his anger, punched a hole through the wall. Justine was stunned and began to wonder if she was next! The verbal abuse was now escalating to this, and she was so upset and

confused!

Driving to work one day, she felt like she was losing it. Trying to hold back tears, she had a hard time focusing and almost got lost going to work. She barely made it to her desk and took one look at the mountain of paperwork sitting there, so she decided to concentrate on that and get busy with it. She went into the small, secluded copy room, switched on the light and started to make copies for her project. But the tears started spilling out onto the pages and she just stopped and started shaking. She thought to herself, "I can't do this". Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see one of the young engineers, Brian who also worked there. She did not even hear him come in, as she was lost in her own thoughts. "What's wrong Justine"? he asked. She couldn't even speak and just shook her head. He just took her in his arms and gave her a hug as she started to cry profusely. He tried to comfort her as he felt her chest heaving against his. Brian had a crush on Justine for over 5 years now but never pursued her, because she was married. He also was 10 years younger and often thought she would think him too immature. But, at this very moment with her in his arms he was in heaven.

Brian told her whatever she needed, he would be there for her. She could rely on him anytime, anywhere for help and he meant it. And then a few days later, Bennett went on another wild angry tirade and started throwing things around. He was acting irrational and Justine was scared to death! She quickly packed a few things in an overnight bag and flew by him and ran out of the house. She did not know what to do and just sat in the car for a few minutes to compose herself. None of her other friends were available as she was calling and scrolling down numbers on her cell phone. Then Brian's number came up. He had given it to her in case of emergency and remember what he had said. He picked up on the first ring. Justine was crying hysterically again and after a few minutes of listening, Brian calmly said to her, "if you can drive over here right now, I'll be waiting". She took a breath and in 10 minutes was at his place and saw Brian waiting outside the door of his home. She flew into his arms not even realizing her actions. Brian hugged her and took her inside and sat her down and told her she could stay there as long as needed.

After a good stiff drink, Justine composed herself and quietly looked into Brian's eyes thanking him and was so relieved to be away from Bennett. She would never go back. Brian told her the timing was perfect as his sister just moved out of the spare room into her own apartment and she could use it as long as needed. Justine ended up staying there for a few weeks . They kept this quiet at work, so no gossip would start and also that Bennett could not find her either, as she never returned his calls or texts.

Brian was floating on cloud 9 with Justine there and was hoping someday he would have a chance with her. Justine realized he was developing feelings for her and told him it was time for her to leave. Her life was too messed up and she was confused in her feelings at this point, although she knew the marriage was finished. So, not wanting to complicate matters more, she took a leave of absence from work. Her girlfriend had a cabin in the mountains she could use. She needed to go away, far away and start proceedings for this much needed divorce although she knew Bennett being a lawyer was going to give her a hard time. She was determined to move on . She was done with the verbal abuse from her mean-spirited husband.

Justine had been mentally beaten up by Bennett and had very low self-esteem. She felt like a failure and worthless. She was lost and had to find herself again. When she said good-bye to Brian she didn't think it would be so hard as she bravely told him she needed to cut all ties with him. She also told him he needed to find someone his own age, without any baggage. Naturally, Brian was distraught and hurt and so disappointed, but abided by her wishes.

So, Justine spent many long days and nights thinking and reflecting on her life. She took long walks, cooked for herself, read a lot and meditated. She did a lot of soul searching and wanted to get back her "footing" and not feel so insecure. All in all, it took 6 months but was well worth it.

Justine was a stronger woman now and able to resume her life again. She was pleased she could return to her former job too. She thought about Brian and had heard through the grapevine, he was dating a younger, attractive woman and wondered if it was serious. She did not want to interfere in his life, so she kept her distance from him when they passed in the hall and rarely spoke to him.

One day, Brian pulled her aside and said "are you mad at me"?. "You barely say two words to me anymore". "What's up with that"? Justine was tongue-tied and said "no, of course not, not at all". I will in fact, always be indebted to you for rescuing me during that terrible time in my life. Brian said "is that it"? "What about now"? Justine told him she had heard he was dating someone, so she did not want to mess it up for him. Brian said, "let me be the judge of that"! He then took her hand and told her she always had a special place in his heart. He had been waiting 5 years to approach her. He said this other relationship was new and casual. He did not feel the same attraction and knew he never would. Brian had so much to tell Justine as he had so much "bottled" up inside of him. But, he knew this was not the place to do it. Brian reminded her they were friends first and now wanted more then that, now she was "free".

He wanted to start again and hoped she would feel the same way.

Brian then looked directly into her eyes and said "You don't know truly how much I really care for you"." Let me show you. I don't want to hurt you and I need you to trust me." I lost you once and I don't want to lose you again. I hoped and prayed all those months you were gone you would come back here.

Justine hesitated and then said"okay", as she had felt the same attraction to him but was trying to deny it. So she took a deep breath and felt brave enough to say to Brian "how and when and where do we start"? Well, Brian said, "how about drinks and dinner Friday night for a start"? Justine just smiled, and her face lit up and she nodded her head and said, "most definitely, can't wait"!!