To Laugh or not to Laugh

"To stand up or do stand up, that is the question?" "To lay down or to be laid down?"

The list of these goes on and on, like there is never an end to all that may be funny to one and not so funny to another.

"To lift a lot or to do a lot of lifting?" "To be the one or to be the one you want to be?" Things like this can get confusing. It all depends on the way you word something or how you word the words that you speak.

"Can it get any more confusing if this had been planned out a month in advance?" I personally do not mess with the ones who write jokes and funny lines for a living, I know I could never even come close to their comical wit and whim.

Dare I say this, "I know that if one is to be funny, one must decide how to speak about something, that they know firsthand, and find the punch line".

"It can sound funny in their heads or better yet their brains, yet never sound as funny when they share that same thing when they speak". "It is true to "go with your gut instinct", but who wants to spill guts out just to be booed or worse thought to really stink at improv, or the worn-out worded verse".

"I mean really, how many times can you tell the same, "walked into a bar, and was stood up" joke before it grows thinner and has less of a punch in its own punchlines?" Or "Has the power to throw a punch that will be a direct hit?"

"I don't know about you, but sometimes two different people tell the same joke or punchline and only one will be left standing". "As if they both got into a fist fight, and the one hand small hands, the other had long arms with no hands". "Betcha no one saw that coming, especially as short as it was for both".

"How does one know what will work the best, even if it's tried and true several times before?" "How does each person know what not repeat after preceding comic said almost the same things that were part of your material?"

"Well one can either be the "butt of someone's joke or punchline" or they can be the ass end of anything said offensively". "No matter how easy you deliver and pass out punchlines, no matter how you try to speak about something that may be considered offensive, someone will be offended".

"You can only please some most of the time, you can only please most some of the time, but you can never please everyone all the time".

"You can only put out a punchline that most will get some of the time, put out a punchline some will get most of the time, but not all will get it all the time, because not everybody understands it at the same time".

"Looking into a mirror as I was passing by, noticed there was a single gray hair and told the mirror, "Say when did your mirror image start showing gray?" Neither I nor the mirrored laughed.

"Getting older may be a chore for some, but most take it in stride and roll with the best of them". "It's not every day I get the senior citizen discount on condoms". "Must be for my own protection, so they were looking out for me while I was in the store".

"I was at the doctor's office, and the nurse called my name like three times, before she came over to tap me on the shoulder". "She then asked me "If I could hear all right". I replied, as I pulled my earbuds out, asking "I want you to speak a little louder, so that the whole waiting room can hear you". "I really don't think they heard you clearly the first two times".

"I mean it does take a long while to write up even one line, much less a whole skit that will have to last at the very least, 30 minutes, if I am lucky". "Boy they really are asking a lot of me, since I am not sure what the time is, my watch hasn't worked for 3 years now". "I have lost track of time. and when I am supposed to take my meds". "No wonder I feel dizzy and want to sleep counting sheep".

"There should be a law against processed humor". "The more you shred it and repeat it, the more it should be placed on the hooks at the local meat plant, so the public can still stomach, swallow and digest all that in their meat they buy at the local Walmart".

"Of course, it would have to be half priced, because no one is willing to pay $50 dollars for something that has a shelf life of only overnight after it was cut and packaged for sale".

"Don't get me started about the health violations and the ones that "shift blame", to prevent anything being removed from the public". "I want to get meat for a fair price, but the hospital visit, the doctor's consultation, and if there is an extended stay, and of course the price of meds afterwards". "I mean really tainted meat can stink originally and add to that a batch of bad jokes and punchlines". "Seems like it's cheaper to not leave them "hanging" on a hook, than to make them throw up the very words they tried to get others to laugh at".

"No matter where you look, you will always find those poised for greatness and those who are grabbing to their coat tails, hoping not to get caught". "You see the ones who do the work and actually write the material and then produce the punchlines over and over again". "But then there are those who "fake it until they make it", yet when they are seen, they fall flat like a tire running quickly over an exposed nail, pointing upward".

"How hard is it not to caught with your pants down?" "I mean in the bathroom, which is the usual thing". "But standing in line, waiting to be called up next?" "I mean really, was it that long of a line and you couldn't wait for an opening?" "Are you kidding me?" "I thought there was a law against this, because you surely can't expose yourself, in this way, especially if you are trying to get a loan from this bank". "What will your friends and neighbors think of you after?"

"Today's society is sure pushing us to do things we don't want to and say things we don't want to and also not allowing us to share things that we do want to". "Why does being so politically correct, all the "in" thing now, when as before it was wrong to do such things that only affected a few?" "What if I was not wanting to speak my mind or agree to anyone's humbug and BS, will they put me in jail for being "different"? "Is being normal no longer an option to my keeping and making use of my insanity?"