Kelly stood in line. Always so busy, she thought. She counted the people in front of her, only three orders away. Her eyes kept darting to an overstuffed chair in the corner. I have to have it. I just can't go on. It's been too long. Two away. One away.
"Hi, Kelly. Would you like your usual?"
Kelly was distracted by the chair. "Hi Julie, just my usual." The cashier gave her a strange look. Kelly paid and dashed to the corner chair. Her heart was racing as she got closer. It was still open. She walked faster as she thought, stay open, stay open, stay open. She made it and fell into the chair. Tears welled up, but she wiped them and smiled. A peace wrapped around her. She would get to see him.
Someone from the counter called her name. She carefully placed her purse and laptop in the chair and went to get her order. She grabbed a sleeve for her cup and added two packs of sugar, never taking her eyes off the chair. She hurried back.
With her purse beside her, laptop on her lap, and steaming paper cup in her hands, she closed her eyes and thought of him. The surrounding noise of conversation began to fade and then become silent. The smells changed from a rich brewed aroma to light breezy woods. The chair she sat in was no longer in a crowded room but in the woods. Birds chirped, and squirrels darted away. Tall, narrow trees loosely dotted the grassy turf, and dried leaves lay around. The sun shone through the treetops in light beams, giving the woods an airy, peaceful feel.
Kelly wasn't surprised. She had been here before but had no idea how. However, it didn't matter as long as her baby showed. Looking in every direction, she sat, waiting for him to arrive. The anticipation was killing her.
"Mom!" A small boy came running, kicking up leaves as he playfully approached Kelly.
She spotted him and cried, "Hi, baby. Be careful."
Aaron only laughed. When he got to his mom, he jumped into her lap. "I missed you. You've been gone for a long time."
"I know. I'm sorry. Where this magic chair sits is busy, and sometimes someone is already sitting in it."
"There's lots of people there? Not here. There are only me and Papa and Nona, oh, and Flappy."
"Who's Flappy?"
"My new dog. Papa found him in the woods. He was lost, so now he's my dog."
"Oh, that's wonderful. You always wanted a dog." She couldn't stop hugging him. "Can I see him?"
"No. Papa says I'm the only one who can come see you. He says you're a gift just for me. What does that mean? How can you be a gift? You can't be put in a box and wrapped."
"Papa means it's a gift for you and me to spend time together."
"Oh. I like my gift then," Aaron hugged her tightly.
"So do I, baby."
They talked about the new toys Papa made for him and the tire swing in the backyard. About Nona's cookies and how he was allowed to eat some before dinner. About Flappy learning how to sit and shake. About playing hide and seek and how Papa and Nona weren't very good at it. About the books, they read him every night about his mom.
"Papa read a new book to me last night. You lost your keys but found them in your red coat, but you cried and were sad."
"That's right. I did lose my keys and found them in my coat."
"You should be happy when you find something. Why were you sad?"
"It was the coat I wore when I saw you in the hospital. Do you remember?"
"Yes. I didn't like the hospital."
"I know, baby," she snuggled him. "I didn't like it either."
"I'm happy here. I'm glad Papa and Nona took me away from the hospital."
Kelly tried to hold back the tears. She wanted these few minutes to be happy, so she swallowed hard and said, "I'm glad they did, too."
"I love you, mom."
"I love you more."
"Are you crying?"
"No, I'm just so happy."
"Were you happy at the hospital?"
"What?"
"I saw you crying at the hospital."
"Oh," she searched for the right words. She didn't believe in lying to Aaron, but she knew he didn't understand. "No, I wasn't happy. I was sad because I knew you had to live with Papa and Nona, but I had to stay at our house for a little longer."
"Don't be sad. I love living here. Papa says you will move here someday, too, and you won't have to sit in this chair. You can walk with us and come to our house."
"He's right. One day, I will, and we can play hide and seek. Won't that be fun?"
"I can't wait. I wish you could leave your chair right now and play."
"I know, Baby, I wish I could too. But remember the last time I got up and disappeared?"
"Yeah. I laughed. You looked so funny."
"You little stinker, laughing at mommy," she tickled him.
"Stop it," he laughed. "Do it again," he laughed even harder.
A gust of wind picked up several leaves, and some landed on her chair. The chair began to feel unstable. It dimmed and then brightened a few times before remaining solid.
"Time for mommy to go," Aaron said playfully like it was a game.
She squeezed him and kissed him. "I will be back soon. I love you, Baby."
"I love you too," he climbed down from her lap and watched as the chair vanished.
The smell of the woods was replaced by the smell of coffee. She sat holding her cup and opened her eyes. The coffee was still hot. She was back, and no one noticed she ever left. Somehow, the chair froze time. To those in the room, Kelly had just closed her eyes for a few seconds, but to Kelly, it was an hour or more. She had no idea how this chair took her to Aaron or how it changed the speed of time, but she didn't care. As long as she got to see him.
Kelly returned to the coffee shop every evening, ordering a coffee and praying the chair was open. She didn't want to attract attention, lest someone discover her secret and use it for themselves or try to steal it. She thought about stealing it herself but didn't know if the chair had to be in the shop to work. Besides that, she had no idea how. So, to not risk it, she would only wait twenty to thirty minutes for it to become available. If it didn't, she'd try again the next day. This went on for months.
* * * *
"Hey, Kelly," Julie handed Kelly's credit card back. "I know you're here every day, so I just wanted to let you know we will be closing for a few days for remodeling. We're about to put up a sign, but I just thought I'd tell you first."
"What do you mean by remodeling?"
"Oh, nothing huge, just some new carpet and paint. It won't take long."
"So the furniture will be the same?"
"They didn't say anything about new furniture."
"You know how I feel about my chair," Kelly forced a laugh.
"I know," Julie laughed.
Two weeks later, the shop closed. Kelly hated it. She missed her son. She was forced to stay at her filthy house the next few nights. She couldn't muster up enough energy to clean. She also refused to open the blinds. They were closed when she heard the devastating news, and it felt wrong to open them. The pain and sorrow she carried from the hospital tormented her most at home. Her thoughts of how happy Aaron was to go with Papa and Nona on a Disney vacation. Then, the call from the Sheriff telling her about the Semi-truck losing control and the head-on collision. Next, the doctor's words when she arrived at the hospital played over and over in her mind, "There is nothing we can do. You need to say goodbye." And finally, the funeral: Three coffins, two adult-sized and one child-sized. She needed the chair. She needed to see Aaron.
* * * *
The line was longer than usual as caffeine junkies returned for their daily fix. Kelly could hardly contain her excitement. She saw the new paint, carpet, and furniture when she got inside. Her heart stopped. They weren't supposed to get new furniture. She left the line and went to the end of the counter.
"Julie. Excuse me. Is Julie here?"
A busy girl set two cups down and called out a name.
"Excuse me, is Julie here?" Kelly was on the edge of a meltdown.
"She's off tonight."
"She said you weren't getting new furniture."
"I know, isn't it cool? They changed their minds."
"What happened to the overstuffed chair that sat in the corner?" Kelly pointed to where the chair used to be.
"I don't know."
Kelly grabbed her own head and tried to stay calm. "I have to know where the chair is! You have to tell me!" She had raised her voice and was making a scene.
The manager came over. "Can I help you, ma'am?"
"You can tell me what happened to the chair. The one that sat there."
"They loaded the old furniture in a moving truck. I don't know where they took them."
Kelly fell to her knees and cried, "My baby is gone!" She cried violently. The entire shop was quiet. No one knew what to do. They just kept staring.
An old lady came from the crowd and put her arm around Kelly. "Now, now, dear. It will be alright. Come with me." She helped Kelly up and took her outside the shop to a table.
Kelly wept harder than she had at the funeral. She couldn't control herself. The old lady held her hand without saying anything. The night air was warm, and the few stars seen through the light pollution shone brightly. After some time, Kelly was able to talk.
"Thank you," Kelly said.
"We knew you would need help tonight," the old lady said.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"We knew the chair would be gone."
"How? Who? Who is 'We?'" She wiped her eyes and focused on the stranger. "Mom!"
"I'm surprised it took you this long to recognize me."
Kelly jumped up and hugged her. "How is this possible? You're dead."
"Not really," they both sat back down. "To tell you the truth, you are more dead than I am. However, I am dead from this world."
"I can see you, but the chair is gone."
"The chair is gone, but you don't need it. You never did. You could have used any chair, or no chair, to visit us. We are only a thought away."
"I can do this right now?"
"Yes."
"What do I have to do?"
"Just close your eyes and picture all of us in the woods together."
Kelly did. The night turned to day. The tables turned to trees, and she stood in familiar woods, leaves crunching underfoot as she turned to see Aaron and her dad.
"Hi, Mom," Aaron hugged her.
"Baby!" She fell to her knees and kissed the top of his head.
"Stop it," he laughed.
Her mom and dad joined in on the hug. "Let's go to the cabin," her dad said. "I cooked."
"You cook?" Kelly feigned shock.
"I do here," her dad smiled.
They laughed and talked as they made their way to the cabin. When they arrived, she saw the tire swing Aaron told her about and a beautiful cabin. They spent a heavenly hour together catching up.
"I've noticed the garden is dead," her dad said.
"Yeah, I kinda let it go."
"That's not the only thing you let go. You've let your life go."
"You never have been subtle, Dad. Yes, you are right. I haven't been right since – well, you know."
"We died?"
"Yeah, since that happened."
"It's okay to say it, Honey, and the sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can begin to heal."
"I can't live without you all."
"Now, I didn't say you had to live without us. You will always have us. I just meant you have to accept we're dead."
"If I do, will I be able to come back?"
"You carry all of us with you, so we will always be as close as a thought."
"I'll try, but I'll need help."
"We will. We'll take it one day at a time," her dad paused and turned his head like he was trying to hear something far away. "Mom says it's time to go back."
"But mom is standing over there."
She is, but she is also sitting with you at the coffee shop."
She began to feel unstable. She hugged everyone goodbye and waved. Just before she disappeared, her dad said, "Do me a favor and open the blinds. You know how I feel about closed blinds."
She was back at the coffee shop holding her mom's hand.
"I've got to go, but we'll see you tomorrow. Hopefully, after you do a little cleaning?" Her mom smiled.
"Okay. You all win," Kelly smiled back as her mom disappeared.
The following day, she made herself coffee and a bowl of cream of wheat. The sun was up, but the house was still dark. After breakfast, she dressed and began to clean. It felt good. It made her feel alive. Next was the garden, but before she went outside, she opened every blind. The sunlight filled her house, expelling the darkness that had ruled for so long, bringing life and hope. She looked around her sunlit house and thought of her family. I'll see you soon, but I have a garden to replant first.
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1 comment
Very moving.
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