“Every day feels Groundhog Day”, just waiting to see if it’s okay to come out of my shell.
I remember doing the simplest task like; making the bed, getting ready for the day, going out for a walk or whatever the case maybe that took little to not effort, it now taking like forever and a day. It’s almost like I have to brace myself (gentle laugh to myself.) to even complete the task.
Honestly I don’t even want to do anything even if I tried, but thankfully I don’t have to “leave” for work; when they started to slowly open certain business, restaurants or whatever else (so that people can go out to work), My husband and I decided to just stay home and work . I was already working on my T-shirt business while working my actual 9-5, and honestly that got overwhelming tiring. Just trying to keep up with sales, packages, giving good customer service at my 9-5 and still making sure that I’M SANE!
So when the pandemic hit, yea it was in a sense a shock, but I feel like God was preparing me and my family, to slowly be able to work and to what we love and enjoy at our own pace. My husband is a computer technician, building and taking apart computers, to make sure that everything is in place to run better. We’ve been very fortunate enough to just stay and work from home. In doing so, now every day that we both have a chance to work and grow is like the same as before (laughs harder). There have been numerous of time when I would ask my husband what day it is, because I would forget or it wouldn’t feel like the day that he told me it is.
There is soo much hurting going on right now, that I try NOT to dwell in the “what ifs”, especially the things that I can’t change, it’s happening for a reason… I’m not trying to sit here and paint this beautiful paintings of butterflies and unicorns and everything is all sunshine, however I do want to show you that there is still light at the end of the tunnel if you just have faith.
Now listen, I can get soo focused on not being where I “think” I should be that I miss out on the blessings that are right in front of me, these are the things that I prayed for! And honestly it couldn’t had come at a better time. My husband and I had just celebrated 8years of marriage on April 26th, this was right when everything was starting to close, so unfortunately we couldn’t celebrate like we had wanted. We was going to book this hotel and stay a weekend just us two. Something we haven’t done since BEFORE we was married. And actually it came out better than I can imagine. Yes, we was home for our anniversary which is fine; But that’s the key part that a lot of us are not understanding; sure it’s fun to explore the world together, travel, grow your business… All of the things; but sometimes you not only lose who you are supposed to be, but you just lose sight of what’s most important… Like spending time with family, watching and nurturing them. Especially with having two young kids. We have a 4 year old boy, Michael Josiah Williams (or Mikey, named after his dad) and our 2 year old girl named Faith Maria Williams and we just recently got a Maltese-poodle that brown and white the cutest thing you will ever see. We named her Bonita (which means beautiful in Spanish). Yes I’m Dominican and my husband is black (African American) so as you can tell, we were busy just moving through life… Like zombies, no purpose, and no sense of direction… Just going! I do (or should I say did since I work from home) enjoyed working in retail, helping others women love themselves, but I also knew that I wanted more, not only for myself… But my family. Day in and day out you can see the burnout and exhaustion in not only our faces, but our action as well.
So when this pandemic hit, yes most definitely it was unfortunate but if you look at it with at grateful heart you’ll see it could always be worse. And although you may be fully prepared and equipped for the challenge doesn’t mean it won’t hurt just as much. One day, I went to work like normal but I just felt like something was off; now mind you this was waaaay before the pandemic; but it was like God was showing me the thing I was trying to avoid without even realizing it.
I remember my boss pulling me to the side with tears nearly filling her eyes as she begins to tell me the news…
*On March 4, 2019, this store “Right for Woman” along with many different locations will be closing. Although we did an amazing job with our sales within the last few months, somehow it just wasn’t enough. It saddens me to even have to tell you this, because although I truly love my team, what I loved even more is your spirit and your ability to make any and everyone feel good about themselves regardless of their ethnic background, race, body type or whatever the case may be. You made everyone feel right at home with the first welcome.*
Just thinking back at her words brings tears to my eyes. My boss, Marinda has the sweetest soul with the kindest heart, we became so close after (and some during) working together. I think that our like-mindedness is what really brought us closer. She’s like a sister I never thought I wanted. And to answer your question, I do have a sister, but we’re not close… We’ll we use to be when we was younger… But life… Well anyway when I met Marinda, we instantly hit it off. We still to this day keep in contact, we don’t hang out as much… Due to Covid, and we try to be careful when we do go out but thankfully there are sooo many ways you can connect via zoom, facetime things like that. She was actually one of the first people I ever told about branching out into my shirt business (besides my husband and mom). She knew that I was doing that on the side but now actually taking the leap of faith on my business.
Well anyway I got a little off subject, but I’ll leave this here with you, something my mama would tell me even to this day…
“You never know where your blessing is coming from”
Although, things may not have worked out the way I had envisioned, and it seems like every day is the same as before, it’s everything that God has envisioned and honestly it just gave us that push that we didn’t think we need.